Anonymous wrote:This is shocking, especially because she is at a top 20 college.

Lol - I also wondered why this fact needed to be mentioned. My dd is NOT at a top 20 college and does not want kids. I’m ok with it bc it’s her life, not mine.

My brother was similarly adamant. He's now 33 and my niece is about to be 8 months old and he could not be more besotted. Lots of stuff happens after college. She may not change her mind, but she also might.

Anonymous wrote:what is this obsession with convincing women that motherhood is the best thing that we can experience?

motherhood is overrated and thankless job more often than not.

It's a way of controlling women.
Pregnant women are vulnerable.
Women on average are not paid as well and fall behind on careers because they often have to " mommy track " themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says the same thing. I REALLY hope she’ll change her mind. I’ve always wanted kids and enjoy being a parent.

motherhood makes women weak and vulnerable. why do you hope she has children?

Because she wants to be a grandma. Doesn't give a shit about what her daughter may want for herself.

Anonymous wrote:DD says the same thing. I REALLY hope she’ll change her mind. I’ve always wanted kids and enjoy being a parent.

motherhood makes women weak and vulnerable. why do you hope she has children?

what is this obsession with convincing women that motherhood is the best thing that we can experience?

motherhood is overrated and thankless job more often than not.

I said the same thing. My mind started to change around 31, was definitely changed at 33, baby came at 35. I’m actually glad for it happening that way because I threw myself 100% into my career for the first decade post college and got ahead to a point where I wasn’t disadvantaged (mommy-tracked) because I had the seniority to call the shots.

Anonymous wrote:LOL college students declare a lot of things. No need to feel sad.

Yeah I had declared that I wasn’t getting married for a long time and would focus on my education when I started college. Met future DH on day 1 of freshman year and got married a month after graduating. We’ve been married 23 years.
Of course I still focused on my education but I did it alongside DH ☺️

I was adamant from childhood. I changed my mind at 33 and I have one kid.

But, I had set up my life (career, location, choice of spouse) with the assumption we wouldn't have kids, and that made it difficult to have more than one. If you say anything to her, it should be to help her avoid closing off choices she may want later.

Not to blame you ... but my own mother's mommy-martyrdom was a big factor in my not wanting kids. She really made it seem impossible to be a good mom and a person with her own interests. If you think you've influenced your DD with your comments, you can try to walk that back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew at that age I didn't want kids, and never changed my mind. (I'm 49 now.)

She may change her mind, may not - the cost thing may be a factor, or may just be what she's saying because she feels like she needs reasons for what is at its essence an emotional decision.

I feel like the best thing you can do is to really talk to her, not try to argue with her or ignore her, but you know your kid best and also you know what you have the capacity for.

Really weird that you as a childless 49 y/o woman is responding to this.

She is a person, who can look back on being a 20 year old woman who felt the same way as OP’s daughter. Why is that not relevant?

Men comment on this topic, and they cannot get pregnant. You sound obnoxious.

Anonymous wrote:This is a very common sentiment these days.

Yeah, how Gen Z. That and the world is ending.

Neither of my girls will have children

They in no way want to bring a child into this world given what is going on with MAGA and I do not blame them one bit.

I did not want kids. I have them. I'm miserable. My mom pressured me to get married and have kids when I did not want to. I was in my early 30s. I barely speak to her now.

Why is this in the relationship forum?

Fact is this isn't your business. it's her life. She may change her mind and she may not.
Annoy her now and she's likely to distance herself from you the rest of her adult life which means even if she has kids you will have very little to do with your grandchildren.
You lived the life you wanted, let her live hers without your drama.

I’ve always wanted kids. My middle sister has always known she didn’t want kids. My oldest sister wasn’t sure until she met the man who is now her husband. We’re all very happy adults. Your daughter may change her mind. Or she might not. I wouldn’t stress admit it, OP.