Op, I have 2 SN kids. To make it worse, they both have been sick on & off since fall this year, and I get the germs from them a few times. This winter is so rough, and I see many kids have cold symptoms around at daycare/school, and who knows if they are cold/flu/rsv/covod/allergy or nothing etc. Kids pass to each other.

My new boss is not umderstanding because I am the only one with young kids and other coworker has adult kids at college/work. I need to leave early for weekly therapies, and they probably don't understand as well. It is an unfair world, and one kid has asd, adhd and epilepsy. The other kid has adhd, speech disorder and etc. My DH is limited as well because of many reasons. When I was sick, I wore a mask & went to work in office even I was pretty exhausting. It was not flu/rsv/covid (doctor tested me), but it was just annoying nonstop coughing for 3 weeks day & night. When it was my kid getting sick, I requested to take PTO or WFH for a bit. DH takes care of daycare winterbreak closing (almost 2 weeks PTO) every year. He takes care of our oldest kid school closing and let the kid use screentime. I take care of half day closing of my youngest one and all kid's sickness time off till they are good enough to go back to school/daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Op here, nobody noticed. I mostly work remote so they maybe assumed I was working from home. I’ve never done anything like this before. It wasn’t intentional. The work I do is highly technical/specialized and I have a lot of independence. I think that’s part of why nothing has happened yet-I’m the only person in my office that can do this type of work.

At the time of the nap incident, I didn’t realize it but I had the flu. I had already missed so much work and was so behind with everything and I had a meeting that was mandatory in person, so I pushed through. One of my kids later tested positive for the flu and then I tested positive.

You work mostly remote and you’re still missing one or two days a week?

OP I'm very sympathetic you're going through some terrible right now, but honestly I don't understand how you are missing 1-2 days a week for illness and kids' appts when you mostly work from home. Even when you have the flu, you can log in and get basic stuff done through the day. To me, it sounds like something much bigger going on than just "I'm sick and my kids are sick". It sounds like you're having a breakdown or something larger. In which case, yeah, you probably need to talk to work and your family about it and figure out what you need to get this fixed. As others have said, quitting your job is not an option if your DH is an absent A-hole.

Talk to your team and boss, talk to HR about FMLA. I’m in a shockingly similar situation. Almost thought I wrote this during a hallucination except we unfortunately don’t have a nanny. One of my kids has developed abrupt behavioral issues amidst all this sickness, too, and is no longer sleeping through the night. It has been a mess trying to figure out how to best support this child. Then we got covid over thanksgiving and I admit my mind was going to some very dark places. It was a wake up call for how bad things really were.

I opened a leave case and am taking some intermittent time off. It’s unpaid, so it’s fortunate I am able to do that, but it’s giving me some respite without feeling like I’ll have absolutely no time off should another emergency arise or should we need to take off simply to spend family time together once things are better. It was difficult to have the conversation with my boss but I have a good performance history and was going to lose my mind trying to maintain appearances. I have to tell myself I’m a valuable employee and I deserve to take this time to care for myself and my family. You do too, OP, and I hope things get better!

OP, I can relate and you are not alone! I started a new job two months ago and it’s been constant illness since then, including myself as I’m picking up everything our kids bring home. I agree that you need some solid time off to rest and recuperate (with childcare still in place). I wish your partner would step up, sounds like you could use extra help. Take care of yourself, please!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Op here, nobody noticed. I mostly work remote so they maybe assumed I was working from home. I’ve never done anything like this before. It wasn’t intentional. The work I do is highly technical/specialized and I have a lot of independence. I think that’s part of why nothing has happened yet-I’m the only person in my office that can do this type of work.

At the time of the nap incident, I didn’t realize it but I had the flu. I had already missed so much work and was so behind with everything and I had a meeting that was mandatory in person, so I pushed through. One of my kids later tested positive for the flu and then I tested positive.

Did you mark the three hours you were asleep as leave? Because otherwise you committed time card fraud and that is definitely a fire able offense. You clearly need help and got lucky no one saw you or noticed. I would take the time you need before something like this happens again.

You don’t know where OP works. You have no idea if she is even required to record her time. Shut up.

Yes, OMG, seriously. Clearly OP doesn't think this is OK either. She's worried and sick and exhausted.

OP, I agree that you should take some real leave to recover, and talk about the situation with your bosses and find out if they have performance concerns. This is bad but it won't last forever. My fall and spring were like that last year, when masks went off and every virus tore through the day cares. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the frequency is finally getting better. I didn't get fired, or even dinged on my review.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Op here, nobody noticed. I mostly work remote so they maybe assumed I was working from home. I’ve never done anything like this before. It wasn’t intentional. The work I do is highly technical/specialized and I have a lot of independence. I think that’s part of why nothing has happened yet-I’m the only person in my office that can do this type of work.

At the time of the nap incident, I didn’t realize it but I had the flu. I had already missed so much work and was so behind with everything and I had a meeting that was mandatory in person, so I pushed through. One of my kids later tested positive for the flu and then I tested positive.

Did you mark the three hours you were asleep as leave? Because otherwise you committed time card fraud and that is definitely a fire able offense. You clearly need help and got lucky no one saw you or noticed. I would take the time you need before something like this happens again.

You don’t know where OP works. You have no idea if she is even required to record her time. Shut up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Op here, nobody noticed. I mostly work remote so they maybe assumed I was working from home. I’ve never done anything like this before. It wasn’t intentional. The work I do is highly technical/specialized and I have a lot of independence. I think that’s part of why nothing has happened yet-I’m the only person in my office that can do this type of work.

At the time of the nap incident, I didn’t realize it but I had the flu. I had already missed so much work and was so behind with everything and I had a meeting that was mandatory in person, so I pushed through. One of my kids later tested positive for the flu and then I tested positive.

Did you mark the three hours you were asleep as leave? Because otherwise you committed time card fraud and that is definitely a fire able offense. You clearly need help and got lucky no one saw you or noticed. I would take the time you need before something like this happens again.

Anonymous wrote:I hope you're taking some sort of supplements to build your immune system. getting enough sleep, and eating healthy.

Op here. I never get enough sleep because my kids have been so sick and not sleeping well for the last several months. I’ve never had this much illness before. I’m just exhausted and run down and it takes forever for me to recover.

Anonymous wrote:You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Op here, nobody noticed. I mostly work remote so they maybe assumed I was working from home. I’ve never done anything like this before. It wasn’t intentional. The work I do is highly technical/specialized and I have a lot of independence. I think that’s part of why nothing has happened yet-I’m the only person in my office that can do this type of work.

At the time of the nap incident, I didn’t realize it but I had the flu. I had already missed so much work and was so behind with everything and I had a meeting that was mandatory in person, so I pushed through. One of my kids later tested positive for the flu and then I tested positive.

I hope you're taking some sort of supplements to build your immune system. getting enough sleep, and eating healthy.

You took a nap in your office for THREE HOURS? Nobody noticed? They should fire you because clearly your job isn’t even needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your nanny take the kids to the doctor? How sick are they? Where is your DH?

I have 3 kids and they were sick all the time when younger (also this fall has been rough). I only took them to the doctor when it was something unusual - and that usually happened at night and we had to go to urgent care or the ER. We were always told to follow up with our pediatrician but I used my own discretion.

I get being exhausted- no answers for that - it’s very stressful having sick kids who need soothing. And inevitably they don’t sleep well, so I don’t either.

I think you will be fine if the constant sick days don’t continue - that is you won’t get fired and hopefully this will be forgotten- but it won’t be if you don’t find a solution.

Op here, the nanny doesn’t drive and her English is not great so doc appointments are out. She often comes with me to the appointments though, and that is a huge help as I can do emails while we wait and she entertains DD.

One of my kids has SN, including epilepsy (and gets seizures when sick), so I feel we have to follow up with the doctors. I guess our pediatrician does tend to tell us to come in for every little thing and I go along with it.

The problem with my exhaustion is it’s the kind I can’t seem to rally through anymore. I’ll suck it up and push through my own sickness or sleep deprivation, only to spend 3 hours trying to write a simple email, or I’ll be on calls and just can’t remember even the simplest word. I can’t track what’s happened on anything from one day to the next, it’s like every day I’m trying to remember what’s going on with my projects because my memory is just not functional anymore.

I was able to just suck it up and power through on the past but I can’t anymore. I laid down on the floor of my office a few weeks ago at lunch to just close my eyes for 20 minutes and I woke up and it had been 3 hours!

DP. You might not get fired for taking sick leave, but I would 100% fire you for taking a 3 hour nap at work. That’s super inappropriate.

I wouldn't but that is because I am a woman and not a man who has been where you are at.

OP you must take a week off--now. Just sleep, read, watch tV and don't think about anything important. Still have your nanny come so you get this time.

Then get through the holidays and ask for another week off. Spend it playing catch up/keeping up at work and otherwise strategizing how to make things smoother. Once you feel caught up it will help.

Hugs to you OP.

WTF does gender have to do with it? Nobody should be napping at work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your nanny take the kids to the doctor? How sick are they? Where is your DH?

I have 3 kids and they were sick all the time when younger (also this fall has been rough). I only took them to the doctor when it was something unusual - and that usually happened at night and we had to go to urgent care or the ER. We were always told to follow up with our pediatrician but I used my own discretion.

I get being exhausted- no answers for that - it’s very stressful having sick kids who need soothing. And inevitably they don’t sleep well, so I don’t either.

I think you will be fine if the constant sick days don’t continue - that is you won’t get fired and hopefully this will be forgotten- but it won’t be if you don’t find a solution.

Op here, the nanny doesn’t drive and her English is not great so doc appointments are out. She often comes with me to the appointments though, and that is a huge help as I can do emails while we wait and she entertains DD.

One of my kids has SN, including epilepsy (and gets seizures when sick), so I feel we have to follow up with the doctors. I guess our pediatrician does tend to tell us to come in for every little thing and I go along with it.

The problem with my exhaustion is it’s the kind I can’t seem to rally through anymore. I’ll suck it up and push through my own sickness or sleep deprivation, only to spend 3 hours trying to write a simple email, or I’ll be on calls and just can’t remember even the simplest word. I can’t track what’s happened on anything from one day to the next, it’s like every day I’m trying to remember what’s going on with my projects because my memory is just not functional anymore.

I was able to just suck it up and power through on the past but I can’t anymore. I laid down on the floor of my office a few weeks ago at lunch to just close my eyes for 20 minutes and I woke up and it had been 3 hours!

DP. You might not get fired for taking sick leave, but I would 100% fire you for taking a 3 hour nap at work. That’s super inappropriate.

I wouldn't but that is because I am a woman and not a man who has been where you are at.

OP you must take a week off--now. Just sleep, read, watch tV and don't think about anything important. Still have your nanny come so you get this time.

Then get through the holidays and ask for another week off. Spend it playing catch up/keeping up at work and otherwise strategizing how to make things smoother. Once you feel caught up it will help.

Hugs to you OP.

Huh? Napping at work is not appropriate for a woman or a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your nanny take the kids to the doctor? How sick are they? Where is your DH?

I have 3 kids and they were sick all the time when younger (also this fall has been rough). I only took them to the doctor when it was something unusual - and that usually happened at night and we had to go to urgent care or the ER. We were always told to follow up with our pediatrician but I used my own discretion.

I get being exhausted- no answers for that - it’s very stressful having sick kids who need soothing. And inevitably they don’t sleep well, so I don’t either.

I think you will be fine if the constant sick days don’t continue - that is you won’t get fired and hopefully this will be forgotten- but it won’t be if you don’t find a solution.

Op here, the nanny doesn’t drive and her English is not great so doc appointments are out. She often comes with me to the appointments though, and that is a huge help as I can do emails while we wait and she entertains DD.

One of my kids has SN, including epilepsy (and gets seizures when sick), so I feel we have to follow up with the doctors. I guess our pediatrician does tend to tell us to come in for every little thing and I go along with it.

The problem with my exhaustion is it’s the kind I can’t seem to rally through anymore. I’ll suck it up and push through my own sickness or sleep deprivation, only to spend 3 hours trying to write a simple email, or I’ll be on calls and just can’t remember even the simplest word. I can’t track what’s happened on anything from one day to the next, it’s like every day I’m trying to remember what’s going on with my projects because my memory is just not functional anymore.

I was able to just suck it up and power through on the past but I can’t anymore. I laid down on the floor of my office a few weeks ago at lunch to just close my eyes for 20 minutes and I woke up and it had been 3 hours!

DP. You might not get fired for taking sick leave, but I would 100% fire you for taking a 3 hour nap at work. That’s super inappropriate.

I wouldn't but that is because I am a woman and not a man who has been where you are at.

OP you must take a week off--now. Just sleep, read, watch tV and don't think about anything important. Still have your nanny come so you get this time.

Then get through the holidays and ask for another week off. Spend it playing catch up/keeping up at work and otherwise strategizing how to make things smoother. Once you feel caught up it will help.

Hugs to you OP.