Anonymous wrote:2 young kids. We spend most of our evenings together. Early evenings are spent cooking dinner, talking about our day and playing with our toddlers before putting them to bed. After their bedtime, we usually clean a bit and either watch TV together (or talk), or do separate things on our phones/laptops but still in the same room or couch.

Some nights we have to work or enjoy the occasional night out with friends, but we genuinely enjoy being together...even if it's just being close while we separately read or watch TV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Empty nesters (kid is in college). Married 30 years. Both work from home full-time though DH now is in the office one day each week.

--Evenings we eat dinner, watch TV together (we have similar tastes in TV and movies and like to discuss what we watch), sometimes play Scrabble or another game.
--Two nights a week, DH goes to an activity he's done for decades and I like those evenings as my "alone time" to do my own things. I used to go out one night a week to an activity that had to stop during the pandemic and which has not resumed and I'm out of the groove now. Some evenings I've been taking classes via Zoom but haven't had one of those in a while.
--Some evenings after we watch TV etc., he goes off to the bedroom to read and I spend some time getting ahead on work (I work freelance and spend that time setting up some things so the next day's work won't take long). But the work part is totally optional and not every night by any means; I feel bad for the early PP who said both spouses work most of the evening and spend only half an hour together "socially" other than work. I think that's incredibly bad for a marriage long-term.

As someone else married 30+ years, I don’t know if it’s “incredibly bad for a marriage or not.” I hesitate to be prescriptive People in marriages have to figure out what works for them, and change what doesn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sort of empty nesters here, as our ACs live with us and work. I don't work. We are in our 50s. DH comes home and we are out for a drive, a movie, dinner with friend etc.

DH and I are each other best friends. He is a better human being than me and more easy going. I make him laugh. We are very physical family. We go around hugging each other.

Perhaps part of this is that you don’t work?

Yes. Without a doubt. I think a large part of it is - I don't work, kids are grown and we are not caring for a pet, elderly relative etc. When I worked and when kids were little, evenings were spent together getting prepped for the next next or attending to kids or cooking or other chores. DH and I were still working together and there was joy in that too because our kids were so cute, but we did not have the luxury to take off and do what we wanted to do.

DH was always supportive and equal partner with chores and childcare, but he liked that when I started staying home, both of us had a lot of leisure time and our family had a better quality of life. We have more energy & time and we have less responsibilities. + we like each other. Life is good and we feel lucky that we have each other.

I’m the 8:43 PP. My husband and I also like each other very much, and feel extremely lucky to have each other. We work together so it’s helpful for us to emphasize external friendships and interests, as well as some time apart in the evenings.

Anonymous wrote:Every night. Dinner with the family around 7. Hang with the kids until 830 or 9 and then they go off to bed (MS kid stays up and reads usually in his room)

Then 9-10 we typically watch a program together. We can typically find content/streaming show that we both agree on. We barely have any options for time together so it would feel strange going to different rooms to watch different shows.

Then at some point before 11, we come up together and read in bed before falling asleep.

I know it shouldn't make me sad that so many people spend their evenings a part from their spouse, since they say thats what they prefer. But it still does

Anonymous wrote:My wife buries her face into her phone watching tiktok. Can't even sit through a tv show or movie any more. Needs new content every 30 seconds or whatever those things last.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We spend most of our evenings together. We cook, clean and wrangle the kids.

This. And has been true our entire 18 year marriage unless one of us is not home, which doesn't happen that often. After all the above is done we usually watch TV together, discuss current events, our days, etc.

Anonymous wrote:
Empty nesters (kid is in college). Married 30 years. Both work from home full-time though DH now is in the office one day each week.

--Evenings we eat dinner, watch TV together (we have similar tastes in TV and movies and like to discuss what we watch), sometimes play Scrabble or another game.
--Two nights a week, DH goes to an activity he's done for decades and I like those evenings as my "alone time" to do my own things. I used to go out one night a week to an activity that had to stop during the pandemic and which has not resumed and I'm out of the groove now. Some evenings I've been taking classes via Zoom but haven't had one of those in a while.
--Some evenings after we watch TV etc., he goes off to the bedroom to read and I spend some time getting ahead on work (I work freelance and spend that time setting up some things so the next day's work won't take long). But the work part is totally optional and not every night by any means; I feel bad for the early PP who said both spouses work most of the evening and spend only half an hour together "socially" other than work. I think that's incredibly bad for a marriage long-term.

As someone else married 30+ years, I don’t know if it’s “incredibly bad for a marriage or not.” I hesitate to be prescriptive People in marriages have to figure out what works for them, and change what doesn’t.

Anonymous wrote:We spend most of our evenings together. We cook, clean and wrangle the kids.