Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

Anonymous wrote:As adults, we refer to our college years as the BEST years of our life! In actuality, was it really after one semester of school?? Be realistic with your children. There are a lot of “firsts” from roommates to living far away from home to homesickness.

Anonymous wrote:I think "super happy" does these kids a disservice and sets up kids to feel like if they aren't "super happy" there is something wrong with them. College is an adjustment and it takes some kids longer than others to find their home there.

My college kid is happy - he picked well (not his highest ranked admit). He loves his friends, he loves his extracurricular activities, he is doing great in a double major. But of course, there are things he doesn't love - his advisor isn't great, the housing situation at his school is awful and he didn't get what he wanted. He is currently stressed about finals and this year had a disagreement with a close friend. It's not normal life to be super happy all the time. But if he had to pick again, he would pick his school every time.

I also have a high school senior. We talk a LOT about fit, places he would like to go, what his sibling likes and dislikes about his school and how no school is perfect. We talk pros and cons of every school in terms of things he wants in a school. He has a list of things that are important to him and we try fit schools into what he wants. (size of school, athletics or greek life, location, curriculum stuff, etc).

I think it's important for parents to moderate discussions with their kids and not measure a successful college pick by rank or if they are "super happy".

Anonymous wrote:Happy all semester, but now dealing with finals and ready for a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a first year at a top 20 school. His experience so far has been mixed. I am struck by how many of his high school peers are having likewise mixed experiences so far. They are doing well academically but are hit with feelings of ennui. This cohort has been through so much — high school sophomore year interrupted mid-year, a Covid induced discontinuous high school junior year and crazy college application process high school senior year. These kids are so confused now in their first year of college. The sense I get is that these kids just lost a big chunk of their childhood, as the formative high school years were kind of ripped away from them. Talk of transferring, pausing education and going on cross country camping trips abound. Anyone seeing this / feeling this from this cohort of kids? I struggle to offer words of encouragement, namely that it will all sort itself out.

I suspect I know you IRL. My DS is the same, and his entire friend group (all at T20 schools) is right there too. I mention the T20 thing only because of the 'the proze for winning the pie eating contest is MORE PIE' thing. That's hitting DS unexpectedly hard, among other factors you cite. Namely the ennui of missing so much of HS (we live in a city that was locked down almost the longest).

More than one guy in DS's friend group is coming apart at the seams now in freshman year. It's heartbreaking.

The whole prize for winning is more pie thing is why I’d love my current jr to consider a gap year but it’s a hard sell since it’s so uncommon

Anonymous wrote:Mine is fine but not SO HAPPY. When he got together with his high school friends over break, they were all the same. None of them loved their experience so far but are doing fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As adults, we refer to our college years as the BEST years of our life! In actuality, was it really after one semester of school?? Be realistic with your children. There are a lot of “firsts” from roommates to living far away from home to homesickness.

I was pretty miserable through most of my college years, but I always gave my parents the impression that everything was great because it had been drilled into my head that I was suppose to be having the best time ever.

Anonymous wrote:As adults, we refer to our college years as the BEST years of our life! In actuality, was it really after one semester of school?? Be realistic with your children. There are a lot of “firsts” from roommates to living far away from home to homesickness.