Anonymous wrote:Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with YOU??

Kids don't hang onto things like this, although parents definitely do.
There's a reason we're not getting the kids ages - that's the one question that's been avoided since page 1.

Why is that??

Lol listen Ms. Marple, no one is denying that I left the marriage. Why are you blathering on (too much wine maybe)? It’s water off my back. I’m not sure why you think you’re such a paramount sleuth. The facts are easy to discern and not a secret. His leaving had nothing to do with hating me (in fact he still asks me to reunite) and everything to to with the A reasons I already cited. Regardless even if this kid were correct, which he is not, it is totally unconscionable to say something so obnoxious to another kid’s face.

As for your skepticism about said kid’s other behavior, you’re just going to have to believe the premise that it’s true if you want to join the conversation. As an example this same kid I have personally witnessed making fun of less affluent people for being less affluent; and he has been supremely pushy and obnoxious about repeatedly calling at the crack of dawn every day even when told to stop by a parent. We literally had to block his number because he wouldn’t comply.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s same aged kid has all-around issues with being domineering, entitled, manipulative and demanding. DH and I are separated (I left for multiple A reasons) and DH moved cross country for a job in his extremely specialized field. At lunch other kid said to mine, “wow, your dad must really hate your mom to move that far away.” His dad immediately told him that was inappropriate to say. I refrained from punching the kid when I found out. But I was stunned at how cruel and out of line the kid was (and also, wrong) and am inclined to take a break from this family and tell the parents why, and/or to demand an apology. I am not sure how else to convey my fury at how their kid treated mine. Thoughts?

Why are we ignoring this part? Dump the kid and the parents- he learned that behavior from someone.[google]

Take a look in the mirror and really think through your part in all this before you condemn the kid and his parents.

You asserted above that your friend's kid domineers, manipulates, and is entitled and demanding. Of course none of US have SEEN this; we have to rely on YOUR description. So you are anchoring our impression of the kid to be negative from the start.

What do we know? What are the actual facts. (1) You left. (2) You and DH are separated. (3) DH moved cross country.

That is it. You SAY that it was for a job in his extremely specialized field, but that's interpretation, isn't it. He might have TOLD you it was for this job. But again, we don't really know that's the case.

The kid looked at the same facts we all see here, without your description shading the kid's impression. He sees the separation, and THEN sees the Dad move across the country. Don't forget Mom, he's ALSO seen how the kid interacts with the kid, and how he interacts with you.

So it's entirely plausible that YOU are the issue, and that Dad hates YOU. You pin your fury onto how the kid treated your KID. But YOU left, not your husband. YOU broke the marriage. YOU drove your kid's father away. Your husband THEN took the job cross-country. Now you and your kid COULD have moved cross-country to be with him. You knew going into your marriage that your husband's field is extremely specialized. That means you could easily run into a situation where moving is best for his career and thus for your family's finances and opportunities. Yet he only moved to take a position after YOU had already left HIM.

So yeah, maybe the friend's kid is all the things you say he is. But maybe he's also hit the bullseye. Both can be true.

While I agree it was nice of the Dad to intervene, I am surprised at the posters who say it was handled and let it go. I wouldn’t rush to have this kid visit for awhile.

kid might be repeating what he has heard his parents say.

Wrong forum

It was rude and dumb, but kids will say rude and dumb things. Talk to your kid, and make sure he knows that’s not true. Obviously the other child doesn’t have any special insight into the dad’s motivations. I don’t think avoiding that child provides any benefit here. Your child will be told rude and dumb things in the future. They need to be able to handle that. Assuming they are good friends otherwise, I’d talk to your son about handling friends being insensitive. You can’t end every friendship everytime the other party puts their foot in their mouth.

Why would you leave out the kid's age? It's the most relevant piece of information.

I would advise my kid to stay away from that kid. I would stay away from the family. No explanations or anything like that. While it's not that serious, there are too many nice kids around to put up with this level of nonsense from some kid.

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s same aged kid has all-around issues with being domineering, entitled, manipulative and demanding. DH and I are separated (I left for multiple A reasons) and DH moved cross country for a job in his extremely specialized field. At lunch other kid said to mine, “wow, your dad must really hate your mom to move that far away.” His dad immediately told him that was inappropriate to say. I refrained from punching the kid when I found out. But I was stunned at how cruel and out of line the kid was (and also, wrong) and am inclined to take a break from this family and tell the parents why, and/or to demand an apology. I am not sure how else to convey my fury at how their kid treated mine. Thoughts?

Why are we ignoring this part? Dump the kid and the parents- he learned that behavior from someone.[google]

Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

* kid, not kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that kid's dad already corrected him, then no, you don't contact the parents. WTF? Why woudl you do that?

Where are you seeing that the other kid’s dad already corrected him?

In the OP: "His dad immediately told him that was inappropriate to say." Dad already corrected the kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid should have shut friend down. Teach child to be assertive and stay out of it. Then get over it, because this is far from the worst thing kid will ever have to deal with.

Hmmm... being told that your dad left because he wanted to get away from you. Do you know know there are 30 page threads in the Family section about father/kid relationships? Maybe this is one of the worst things this child will have to deal with.

The kids didn't say that the father wanted to get away from the kid, they said the father wanted to get away from the MOM.

Still just as bad, but the insult wasn't directed towards the child.

This hit the nail on the head -- this is why the OP is still so upset... so upset as to threaten to punch the child (even though his father admonished him the moment it happened).

The insult was directed towards the mom and I'm sure the kids was upset in the moment, but I imagine they're over it by now.. mom is not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid should have shut friend down. Teach child to be assertive and stay out of it. Then get over it, because this is far from the worst thing kid will ever have to deal with.

Hmmm... being told that your dad left because he wanted to get away from you. Do you know know there are 30 page threads in the Family section about father/kid relationships? Maybe this is one of the worst things this child will have to deal with.

The kids didn't say that the father wanted to get away from the kid, they said the father wanted to get away from the MOM.

Still just as bad, but the insult wasn't directed towards the child.

I'd do nothing. It's been handled. There's nothing to do.