Anonymous wrote:Good luck. When I stopped answering during the day, scathing screaming messages were left multiple times a day. Their concept of time gets screwed up, and everything is desperately urgent NOW! The sound of a phone ringing gets my heart pounding.

+1 Once we passed that phase, I changed the ring tones on all the phones in our family. I still get triggered occasionally by other people’s phones because it’s a popular ring tone.

Assign your dad immediately to a ring tone that is way down in the list and hard to find.

PP is also right about the time issue, sadly.

OK there will be some on here who will guilt trip you, just ignore them. Having been at this for oh a decade or so between parents and inlaws, you cannot let them kill you before they pass. I know that sounds harsh and dramatic, but we have enough friends who ended up with major medical issues during this whole sandwich that it is the darn truth. At the very least you cannot let them make you lose your job and sanity.

So, as reasonable others have said...do not answer the phone. Leave all that busywork to the aide and give the aide tips. When you are training someone irrational there can be tantrums, anger and fits. Do not give in. Remain calm. In a relaxed tone you simply say "I was working then."

You do these things so you can be your best self when you do see him or talk to him. Do not reinforce any bad behavior. You can calmly say "I work during the day." Then change the subject. If he obsesses, you politely end conversation/visit and say "I;m glad we got to chat/visit. Now I need to go."