Anonymous
12/07/2022 13:02
Subject: My Mom Moved Out
Any updates OP? Are you both enjoying having greater emotional space?
Anonymous
12/06/2022 06:05
Subject: Re:My Mom Moved Out
I like the pp’s suggestion to send her flowers with a kind note wishing her well, no hard feelings, and a reminder to take her meds. I was the primary caregiver for both parents despite having two older siblings. My parents were saints though, and they needed me for a very long time. I can lay my head down at night in peace knowing I did the very best to keep them in their home. No martyrdom at all, but it was sooooo effing hard emotionally, financially, and physically.
In your heart, OP, you’ll help her when the time comes. Make peace with it and map out a serious plan. She needs her end of life wishes in writing. That includes notarized legal documents for medical proxy, power of attorney, DNR, executor/trustee.
In your heart, OP, you’ll help her when the time comes. Make peace with it and map out a serious plan. She needs her end of life wishes in writing. That includes notarized legal documents for medical proxy, power of attorney, DNR, executor/trustee.
Anonymous
12/06/2022 05:43
Subject: Re:My Mom Moved Out
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP this is a blessing! I am so happy for you!
Do not let her back in, no matter what!
Rent the space out if you can.
This is OP. Yes, I am afraid she will have to come back WHEN things go south, because they will since she cannot take her meds properly. I don't think I will be strong enough to turn her down when that happens. Can I really rent out the space and say, "too bad" -- even though that's what I would prefer, given how things have gone?
I think one of the things that bothered me about how she moved out was the fact that she expected to be kept abreast of any little decision we made whether it had something to do with her or not ("you didn't tell me you were getting a new washing machine" "why didn't you tell me you were going out for coffee" "I want to know why you are choosing now to fix up your powder room") and yet she makes these plans and then leaves while we are away. And then she says something like, "sorry my presence didn't work out for YOU" or something mean like that.
It makes me sad that I hoped things would be different and they weren't, and yes I tried to stand my ground and have her play by our house rules since it is our house, and all of it ended up with her saying, "nope, if I can't play by my own rules and YOU can't play by my rules, I'm just going to go do what I want."
If she were totally healthy and able to care for herself I'd be thrilled with it but I have the feeling of impending doom because she isn't healthy and she won't take her meds right and she will probably end up in the hospital.
Well, I mean, I get the feeling of impending doom. But she's an adult, you know? It's her prerogative to ruin her health if she wants to. For now, just be grateful and enjoy your life until hers comes crashing down.
Anonymous
12/03/2022 09:23
Subject: My Mom Moved Out
Anonymous wrote:Wow! Sounds like she moved out of an elder abuse situation to live alone at 85.
Her bad Karma maybe?
+1
WTF OP??
Anonymous
12/03/2022 09:22
Subject: Re:My Mom Moved Out
Anonymous wrote:Good riddance. Your mom was/is ungrateful and she overstepped her bounds. Why did she end ip living with you in the first place? Cut her off. World us toxic enough, hard- rent out the other place. If something comes up. Have her call your
sibling
Wow! What a sweetheart you are!
Pssst, you will get old too soon enough.
Anonymous
12/03/2022 07:32
Subject: Re:My Mom Moved Out
Good riddance. Your mom was/is ungrateful and she overstepped her bounds. Why did she end ip living with you in the first place? Cut her off. World us toxic enough, hard- rent out the other place. If something comes up. Have her call your
sibling
sibling