Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: We've seen the Dale and Kruger study showing that it doesn't matter where you go to college. This thread should be required reading for all the Ivy-obsessed posters here:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1093901.page

"Ivies aren't the best."

Translation: "Please do not apply to an Ivy so I have a better chance being admitted."

Anonymous wrote: We've seen the Dale and Kruger study showing that it doesn't matter where you go to college. This thread should be required reading for all the Ivy-obsessed posters here:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1093901.page

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!

This is so odd to me. Most of the working class kids at my Ivy were STEM majors who went to med school or into tech. They are killing it now. Why didn’t you do that?

I DID go into tech. I ended up in gov contracting because I wanted to work on “meaningful work”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!

This is so odd to me. Most of the working class kids at my Ivy were STEM majors who went to med school or into tech. They are killing it now. Why didn’t you do that?

Doubt truly working class kids went into med school btw. The debt required would be a huge roadblock. Borrowing more money than my parents net worth and 10x their annual income??? How does that seem wise…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the wisest comment from that thread:

I am the PP who grew up in suburbia and did fine at an Ivy but did not excel, there or in life.

My parents were the first in their families to go to college and they pushed me to do well (I went to public high school) and none of us really thought about what it would take to succeed after I got into a good college. They had no clue. I had no clue. I went to an Ivy that is notorious for not being supportive (esp. in the 80s/90s) and I basically just floated through, getting mored depressed as graduation was coming.

As for the PP who said all you need is hard work and hustle, I push back on this. I waitressed and nannied, and had other jobs through college. I got good grades, I did ECs. I wasn't a slacker with a trust fund just coasting on the Ivy name.

I just didn't understand newtowkring, or parlaying the hand I had into something bigger.

Grad school and law school seemed out of reach for me. I didn't have a passion or a plan and my parents did not have the $ for grad school, so taking on that much debt for something I wasn't sure about seemed irresponsible.

As a mother I tell my kids it is way more important to attend a school where you grow into the best you, have mentors, access to professors, and feel like a part of the school community than it is to have a brand name.

Well, all the Ivies (save Columbia, which is a fake Ivy anyways) have a much stronger sense of community than most flagship state schools.

You attended ALL the Ivies. Good job. Please continue to spout your wisdom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the wisest comment from that thread:

I am the PP who grew up in suburbia and did fine at an Ivy but did not excel, there or in life.

My parents were the first in their families to go to college and they pushed me to do well (I went to public high school) and none of us really thought about what it would take to succeed after I got into a good college. They had no clue. I had no clue. I went to an Ivy that is notorious for not being supportive (esp. in the 80s/90s) and I basically just floated through, getting mored depressed as graduation was coming.

As for the PP who said all you need is hard work and hustle, I push back on this. I waitressed and nannied, and had other jobs through college. I got good grades, I did ECs. I wasn't a slacker with a trust fund just coasting on the Ivy name.

I just didn't understand newtowkring, or parlaying the hand I had into something bigger.

Grad school and law school seemed out of reach for me. I didn't have a passion or a plan and my parents did not have the $ for grad school, so taking on that much debt for something I wasn't sure about seemed irresponsible.

As a mother I tell my kids it is way more important to attend a school where you grow into the best you, have mentors, access to professors, and feel like a part of the school community than it is to have a brand name.

Well, all the Ivies (save Columbia, which is a fake Ivy anyways) have a much stronger sense of community than most flagship state schools.

That’s not true at all -Harvard and Yale (law) grad

This is encouraging. People go to Yale law and still end up spending their free time on DCUM like the rest of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!

This is so odd to me. Most of the working class kids at my Ivy were STEM majors who went to med school or into tech. They are killing it now. Why didn’t you do that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!

This is so odd to me. Most of the working class kids at my Ivy were STEM majors who went to med school or into tech. They are killing it now. Why didn’t you do that?

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!

This is so odd to me. Most of the working class kids at my Ivy were STEM majors who went to med school or into tech. They are killing it now. Why didn’t you do that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the wisest comment from that thread:

I am the PP who grew up in suburbia and did fine at an Ivy but did not excel, there or in life.

My parents were the first in their families to go to college and they pushed me to do well (I went to public high school) and none of us really thought about what it would take to succeed after I got into a good college. They had no clue. I had no clue. I went to an Ivy that is notorious for not being supportive (esp. in the 80s/90s) and I basically just floated through, getting mored depressed as graduation was coming.

As for the PP who said all you need is hard work and hustle, I push back on this. I waitressed and nannied, and had other jobs through college. I got good grades, I did ECs. I wasn't a slacker with a trust fund just coasting on the Ivy name.

I just didn't understand newtowkring, or parlaying the hand I had into something bigger.

Grad school and law school seemed out of reach for me. I didn't have a passion or a plan and my parents did not have the $ for grad school, so taking on that much debt for something I wasn't sure about seemed irresponsible.

As a mother I tell my kids it is way more important to attend a school where you grow into the best you, have mentors, access to professors, and feel like a part of the school community than it is to have a brand name.

Well, all the Ivies (save Columbia, which is a fake Ivy anyways) have a much stronger sense of community than most flagship state schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the wisest comment from that thread:

I am the PP who grew up in suburbia and did fine at an Ivy but did not excel, there or in life.

My parents were the first in their families to go to college and they pushed me to do well (I went to public high school) and none of us really thought about what it would take to succeed after I got into a good college. They had no clue. I had no clue. I went to an Ivy that is notorious for not being supportive (esp. in the 80s/90s) and I basically just floated through, getting mored depressed as graduation was coming.

As for the PP who said all you need is hard work and hustle, I push back on this. I waitressed and nannied, and had other jobs through college. I got good grades, I did ECs. I wasn't a slacker with a trust fund just coasting on the Ivy name.

I just didn't understand newtowkring, or parlaying the hand I had into something bigger.

Grad school and law school seemed out of reach for me. I didn't have a passion or a plan and my parents did not have the $ for grad school, so taking on that much debt for something I wasn't sure about seemed irresponsible.

As a mother I tell my kids it is way more important to attend a school where you grow into the best you, have mentors, access to professors, and feel like a part of the school community than it is to have a brand name.

Well, all the Ivies (save Columbia, which is a fake Ivy anyways) have a much stronger sense of community than most flagship state schools.

Your kid got rejected by Columbia - again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about that thread recently. I have a degree from an Ivy and two graduate degrees from top schools and I make about $130,000 a year as a professor. I am vastly overqualified for my job at a third Tier institution although it works well with my family responsibilities.

My parents were extremely working class and the number one skill that I feel like I did not acquire as a child was the ability to advocate for myself. My parents are very timid and they have never stood up to an employer or asked for anything. The overwhelming sense I had as a child was that life was something that happened to you and I remember being terribly surprised when I figured it out in graduate school, that other people had a vision for where they wanted to end up and that they were working to implement that vision. But to some degree it was already too late for me when I realize that other people had been doing that since they were 16.

A good school can only take you so far if you have no sense of agency or the ability to create their own life, and unfortunately most of us from poor and working class environments do not have that skill

Squandered Ivy here, yes I definitely was extremely deferential to authority. I was terrified of talking to my professors at my Ivy, even though many were very nice, partly because I didn't want them to figure out I didn't belong there (which may or may not have been true!). My GOAL and my parent's goal in life was to go to great college away from my small town -- I had NO inkling of what happened after that, and by the time I figured out what I thought was a decent path, the die was cast for my underwhelming career.

At least as a professor you have a pretty stable career and autonomy; do you get to live in a LCOL college town with good schools, that would be a great benefit!