Anonymous wrote:Ha I always say this to DH- when I was 24 all I wanted was a Prada handbag. Now I can afford any bag I want and use a diaper bag as a purse. I don't care about keeping up with the Joneses because I have nothing to prove.

+1
And since the pandemic I've downgraded my work shoes. Now I have the most simple pumps for the few times I go onto the office a month and have bought my first pair of street shoes. (I've never really worn sneakers before). For me, I'm more secure and I can see how some folks earn to spend to show. It doesn't float my boat...maybe maturity?

+1

More money I have more I want to see every dollar in the bank grew up poor

Our spending patterns have gotten spikier as we have gotten older. Clothes, housewares, accessories, furniture, consumables - we’re pretty cheap and buy secondhand frequently. But we do have an expensive car and we spend a lot on travel and services.

When I was younger I was frugal across the board.

Anonymous wrote:This is why a lot of the rich don't drive fancy cars or things like that. They already have tons of money and don't need to prove it to anyone.

We own a townhouse and a sfh that's worth 2x it. The people in the townhouse community drive $$$ fancy cars. In my sfh neighborhood everyone drives Hondas, Toyotas, Jeeps. And no, it's not because they can't afford it. My neighbors have been here for at least a decade and aren't financially struggling.

Only my Iranian neighbor drives an old Mercedes in our townhouse community. Rest of us drive non-luxury vehicles. But I'm also in FCC so my townhouse is the same price as SFHs further out.

Anonymous wrote:When I was young and poor I wanted everything.
When we got financially comfortable I wanted nothing.
So now we help out family and it makes us very happy. The feeling is like nothing you will ever experience. No lie.
Generational wealth is a joke. It only takes 1 greedy DIL to abuse that privilege with her forever home.
SPEND IT ALL BEFORE YOUR KIDS DO !!!

Why so much woman-on-woman hate? Why perpetuate the trope of women as scheming, self-serving and materialistic? Why does it have to be a DIL?

- A guy

(J/k but I've been on DCUM so long my radar has synced with the women here.)

My husband has become like this, despite our income being higher than ever. It’s causing marital issues.

I never had that lust for things. I am finding that now that I am in my mid-upper 50’s I will pay more for upgrades when I travel or nicer towels and sheets. I am now willing to pay for things that make me feel better like massages or nice lotion.

This. I will pay more for convenience when traveling or for personal services. I don't care so much about clothes or more things for my home. I will spend money on eating well also.

I can relate to a previous poster who said that after you retire you do think about possible future health care costs (which can be a lot). So you try to keep saving or try to preserve some funds for that.

When I was young and poor I wanted everything.
When we got financially comfortable I wanted nothing.
So now we help out family and it makes us very happy. The feeling is like nothing you will ever experience. No lie.
Generational wealth is a joke. It only takes 1 greedy DIL to abuse that privilege with her forever home.
SPEND IT ALL BEFORE YOUR KIDS DO !!!

I totally thought this was going to be a thread about getting wealthier every year, but never quickly enough to actually afford the things you’ve always wanted, as they just keep getting more and more expensive.

Guess it’s a “me” problem 😅

Nope. Spending more on high end travel, self care etc.

Me too. Possibly depression from working too hard to make the money, and having no quality free time or interests due to work and family demands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've always been frugal. We are looking to build generational wealth.

very sad

huh?

OP here, this thread has helped me realize I'm not depressed, just old! Like many PPs, I went through a phase in my 20s and 30s when I was into attaining material things, traveling international first class, etc. Now in my 40s, I've little interest in "the next step, " e.g. accumulating more stuff or flying private. I'm grateful for what I have and fine where I am. Happy early Thanksgiving, everyone!

Yeah, it's just getting older. When I was young, I was superficial and materialistic, and loved to shop. Now I do not want to spend what little time I have shopping for things I do not need and won't care about in a few months. I've also become very concerned about the environment, so I try to only buy things I need and that will last for years. I have luxury handbags and expensive jewelry I almost never use in my pandemic telework/new mom life; why accumulate more? I love my engagement ring and wedding bad, but almost never wear them because I'm always changing diapers and washing my hands. I am still thin and don't have wrinkles, etc, but I don't give a shit about impressing anyone so I dress frumpy and don't wear make up. I'm not depressed. In fact, I am far more satisfied with my life than I was in my 20s when I was always seeking approval.

Nope, took the money to pay off the house and now buying what I want... its nice being able to without worrying like I used to.