WHY is he opposed? And what usually appeals to him? Science based information? An emotional appeal? My husband is very facts based so reading research helped us both make the decision. Can you do some family therapy to help talk through it? Have him talk to the psychiatrist? Talk to other parents? What else does he want to try first?

I thought I would be the one opposed, but we were hitting what felt like rock bottom and I felt lost and hopeless. I felt such relief when they first suggested meds because it was SOMETHING else to try when I had no more ideas to try.

Anonymous wrote:I honestly wonder - and it really is just a musing and not a critique - if those parents that waited just had kids with milder ADHD for the most part. I am not hearing those parents describe kids who are hyperactive impulsive and inattentive to the point where they are being marginalized by peers, disciplined continually, not understanding why others are getting school concepts but not them. I am glad for those for whom waiting was possible. Even though for us meds have been a game changer, I would have been able to wait. But it could not have been our path, and I am so grateful that we have found after a long trial and error meds that work for us.

This is a good question. I do think ADHD is overdiagnosed/overtreated - but I also know that there are some kids for whom the meds really are necessary. The problem is when kids with mild or misdiagnosed ADHD get medicated due in part to scare/marketing tactics that misrepresent what the medication can do. And yeah sometimes I do read comments here on DCUM that make it sound like parents are medicating to optimize their child even in the face of significant side effects.

My experience: I was very ready to medicate DS due to behavioral issues but DH was opposed. We waited, behavioral issues subsided with therapy/IEP, and eventually a neuropsych found no ADHD.

All the boys on ADHD meds at our school are short when the parents are tall. I saw the story that you only lose 2 inches tops but this is not panning out to what I see when kids are 16 and most finished growing. I wonder if some kids take meds and then stop until they are finished growth spurts? Also some of my friends have warned me that meds are not everything and the side effects and trial and error is ongoing. I keep hoping I hear of a medicine that doesn’t affect growth and mood. This is one reason we have hesitated on meds and focused on lifestyle/diet etc. Don’t get me wrong if kid could not function I would say meds would outweigh other things but if you can try to avoid not the worst thing. Maybe other parent has seen the same things I have. I would try diet/lifestyle first.

Im PP and I meant to say - "Even though for us meds have been a game changer, I would have been glad to be able to wait."

I honestly wonder - and it really is just a musing and not a critique - if those parents that waited just had kids with milder ADHD for the most part. I am not hearing those parents describe kids who are hyperactive impulsive and inattentive to the point where they are being marginalized by peers, disciplined continually, not understanding why others are getting school concepts but not them. I am glad for those for whom waiting was possible. Even though for us meds have been a game changer, I would have been able to wait. But it could not have been our path, and I am so grateful that we have found after a long trial and error meds that work for us.

I agree with trying environmental changes first but I’d guess OP already has done that. I would also work with a psychiatrist not a pediatrician—the psychiatrist will be more on top of the medication possibilities and likely start at a smaller dosage.
When we started, I did not tell the teacher. At the end of the week. I emailed teacher to ask how child was doing. Teacher told me she had meant to call me to say what a wonderful week he had. Unsolicited, another adult approached me to tell me how wonderful he had been that week at another activity. That was a pretty convincing single blind study.

I would try non-pharmaceutical interventions first, e.g. lifestyle changes, IEP, diet, exercise, changing parenting style and home environment. IMO meds should only be used when you've tried changing else and his life is still a disaster.

Anonymous wrote:He is still young. You can wait a while.
I have 4 kids- 2 are adhd.
Our oldest, we didn’t quite know what to do and she started meds freshman year. In hindsight, it should have been 6th or 7th grade
Our 2 middle kids seemed to mature and focus better around 4th grade. Our youngest is in process- but attention is not vastly improving, so he will likely start meds in 4th or 5th grade.
Don’t rush the normal early childhood development process

I agree.

DH objected to our son receiving ADHD medication and so our son waited to age 18 to obtain a prescription. We hired an executive function tutor and he received accommodations between when he was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and age 18 when he didn't need parental consent to receive medication.

Lots of good advice her and I was especially convinced (in my case, with my son) when I heard about long-term outcomes.

One of the really good things about ADHD medication is that they're, for lack of a better term, low-commitment. You really can see right away if they're working or not. It's not like SSRIs that take a long time.

Maybe you could get your husband to agree to a two-week trial. Notify your son's teacher(s) that he will be starting a new medication and ask for feedback at the end of the week. See what your son says about how he feels during the day. See what kind of changes you notice at home.

My oldest, whose ADHD was diagnosed in middle school, did find it helped him with his executive functioning and ability to focus. My younger son, who we started medicated in 4th grade, had issues with sitting still, keeping his hands to himself, etc. It was night and day when he took the medication versus when he did not. In fact, by the time he got to fifth grade, if there was a day I forgot to give it to him, his teacher would shoot me a note telling me my son did not seem like himself that day.

Anonymous wrote:And get your son LOTS of physical activity during the day. Young boys simply can’t sit still or focus if when they are full of energy

Depends on the kid. Mine was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive. His ability to focus isn't helped by lots of physical activity. And if he gets a ton, he's too tired to focus. He needs less physical activity than most kids, in my experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then dad can handle the calls from school, the frustrations, and the melt downs.

I would ask why he is against the meds. Would he say no to chemo if your child had cancer?

+1. When we were in the psychiatrist’s office and he recommended meds, DH started talking about not wanting to do so. Psychiatrist said that DH should be the one fielding all of the calls from the school if he felt that way. DH agreed to meds on the spot.

Live that psychiatrist! Curious if if was a man or woman?

Anonymous wrote:And get your son LOTS of physical activity during the day. Young boys simply can’t sit still or focus if when they are full of energy

Cool, OP’s DH can quit his job and homeschool their son to make sure he can get lots of physical activity throughout the day.

And get your son LOTS of physical activity during the day. Young boys simply can’t sit still or focus if when they are full of energy