RhymeTime
Post 11/21/2022 16:46     Subject: What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
My first kid took forever to eat, was underweight and had food allergies. We bought a used iPod touch and let him watch videos while he ate when he was a toddler. He clocked so many hours of screen time. He could quote Nemo and cars from memory. This was in 2009-2011, before the iPad was invented, so the norm was for kids to have no screen time other than occasional tv. I thought I was ruining him. At age 4, we took it away and shockingly, nothing happened. Maybe he was so saturated with screen time he got sick of it. He is 14 now, has normal eyesight and isn’t addicted to screens or games. The eating is normal too and most of the allergies disappeared.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 15:49     Subject: Re:What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
What do people consider a ton of screen time?
Anonymous
Post 11/20/2022 14:46     Subject: What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I've been getting shitty with my 6 year old. It's horrible.

Complained that other kids get to do XYZ: "fine, go live with their parents if it's so great"

Complained she had so clean her stuff up while my work stuff was still out: I slammed my hand down on the table, rolled my eyes, and cleaned it up in a huff.

One morning I was fed up with her and H not helping out while I was trying to get everyone ready: I screamed and cussed them both out. "NO ONE EVER F***ING LISTENS TO ME".

The really sad thing is I know my frustrations mostly stem from H. I really can handle DD's complaining and tantrums. But when I'm irritated because I'm running around doing everything while H plays on his phone, I get this intense anger that boils over and unfortunately my kid gets the brunt of it. I hate it. HATE it.

Like that's what happened last night: I was running DD to practice all evening, came home and started cleaning up, was the only one coaching DD to put her practice things away and take a shower so she's mad and screaming at me, trying to start dinner, unpacking the baby and dealing with her, etc. H just sits around on his phone, and it's like...you couldn't have started dinner? Straightened up? Taken the baby from me? So when DD went off that it's not fair she has to clean up when my work things are still out, I kinda lost it.


I’m sorry. If I were you, I would do the bare minimum until your H starts helping out. Don’t try to coach 6yo to clean up, don’t stress about dinner. Order in or do frozen meals and just focus on relaxing and smiling at your kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/20/2022 14:36     Subject: Re:What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Cosleeping for years. DC is now 15 and only sleeps in their room.


Same.

Also felt it was a fail not joining my daughter in any sports when she was in ES -- she's on varsity field hockey in high school.

None of these things really matter, OP. Have you heard the expression "Don't sweat the small stuff"?

This is the small stuff.

I mean this to be nice -- try not to be neurotic about your parenting b/c kids can pick up on your anxiety and will be more prone to anxiety as they grow up.


I have a 5yo who is not into sports and I don’t intend to sign her up for anything until she asks. But at the same time, I would love if she had an interest that got her moving. Can you tell me how your daughter eventually got into sports?
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2022 09:35     Subject: What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I've been getting shitty with my 6 year old. It's horrible.

Complained that other kids get to do XYZ: "fine, go live with their parents if it's so great"

Complained she had so clean her stuff up while my work stuff was still out: I slammed my hand down on the table, rolled my eyes, and cleaned it up in a huff.

One morning I was fed up with her and H not helping out while I was trying to get everyone ready: I screamed and cussed them both out. "NO ONE EVER F***ING LISTENS TO ME".

The really sad thing is I know my frustrations mostly stem from H. I really can handle DD's complaining and tantrums. But when I'm irritated because I'm running around doing everything while H plays on his phone, I get this intense anger that boils over and unfortunately my kid gets the brunt of it. I hate it. HATE it.

Like that's what happened last night: I was running DD to practice all evening, came home and started cleaning up, was the only one coaching DD to put her practice things away and take a shower so she's mad and screaming at me, trying to start dinner, unpacking the baby and dealing with her, etc. H just sits around on his phone, and it's like...you couldn't have started dinner? Straightened up? Taken the baby from me? So when DD went off that it's not fair she has to clean up when my work things are still out, I kinda lost it.


I’m sorry. I’ve been there and know how hard those moments are, and how bad it feels to have yelled.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2022 08:31     Subject: Re:What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
Very few things matter.

My view of the coupe things that do:

Decent sleep hygiene and habits. Sleep affects a lot in their and your life.

Love them and prioritize them being kind, having decent manners, and putting in some effort and not afraid to make mistakes.

Model how you want them to behave. That will go a lot further than the words that come out of your mouth. How you handle conflict, apologize, take accountability, treat others, show up for people, etc.

Everything else don’t worry about.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2022 08:25     Subject: What were the parenting fails you committed but turned out alright in the long run?
Anonymous wrote:It's called choosing your battles.


And not sweating the small stuff