Here’s a suggestion: have him put the house that you and your child w him live in into a trust and amend the directive to say you have a right to reside there until your child leaves college or whatever age if your fiancé dies.

The pp raised a good point. Do you have a will? Who will be the guardian of your two older children if something happens to you before they become adults? Is their father alive? Do you have other family who will take them? Do you have life insurance? You don’t have to answer these questions here but if you do not have all of this in place (as well as a guardian for your youngest if something happens to both you and your fiancé, you can use this as an opening for a discussion. You can say you need to get this in place and say you were thinking you need to make arrangements for your future in case something happens to him.

By having the conversation, you will know his thoughts. Regardless, you should likely start looking for a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years?

OP here.

I’m 48 soon to be 49. Our youngest is 7. We’ve been engaged 7 1/2 years. I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old. His two older children are 27 and 25.

You need to get a job; this man is not intending to take care of you.

Anonymous wrote:You really need to see a lawyer. Inheritance rules for spouses in different states. Many states allow a spouse to take against a will; some states make the spouse's share 50% regardless of what a will says. Some states protect a spouse's right to remain in a marital home, regardless of whether their name is on the home. See a lawyer.

She is not a spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the lone dissenter but I think he sounds like a jerk. My spouse put me on everything even though she made twice as much money as me and would be paying more towards it. We couldn’t get married legally until 2013 ( gay marriage) you need to have a serious conversation with him, if gd won’t get married or put you on the title you need to consider your next steps. Either stay and be ok with it, or leave..

He's a jerk. He should be taking steps to protect the mother of his youngest child and to protect his older children. He should be balancing it out.

You /we don’t know whether he’s a jerk or not. He might have life insurance with the youngest child an/or the OP as a beneficiary.
While he might be a jerk, he also is recognizing that the OP is not in a position to pay the mortgage, taxes, upkeep on the house. Putting the house in her name could well mean that everyone— including the OP and her child — loses out if the OP is unable to handle the bills.

You make it sound like there’s some advantage to OP by not being on the deed. There is literally no advantage. Even if she couldn’t pay the mortgage. None at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the lone dissenter but I think he sounds like a jerk. My spouse put me on everything even though she made twice as much money as me and would be paying more towards it. We couldn’t get married legally until 2013 ( gay marriage) you need to have a serious conversation with him, if gd won’t get married or put you on the title you need to consider your next steps. Either stay and be ok with it, or leave..

He's a jerk. He should be taking steps to protect the mother of his youngest child and to protect his older children. He should be balancing it out.

You /we don’t know whether he’s a jerk or not. He might have life insurance with the youngest child an/or the OP as a beneficiary.
While he might be a jerk, he also is recognizing that the OP is not in a position to pay the mortgage, taxes, upkeep on the house. Putting the house in her name could well mean that everyone— including the OP and her child — loses out if the OP is unable to handle the bills.

Op, stop looking for answers that are right in front of your face. You’ve been engaged for over half a decade.

He’s just not that into you.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m the lone dissenter but I think he sounds like a jerk. My spouse put me on everything even though she made twice as much money as me and would be paying more towards it. We couldn’t get married legally until 2013 ( gay marriage) you need to have a serious conversation with him, if gd won’t get married or put you on the title you need to consider your next steps. Either stay and be ok with it, or leave..

Did your spouse have kids? If not, that’s a critical difference in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years?

OP here.

I’m 48 soon to be 49. Our youngest is 7. We’ve been engaged 7 1/2 years. I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old. His two older children are 27 and 25.

Why is the engagement so long?

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure there are some legal protections for you and your child should he predecease you, but it’s long past time for you to get your affairs in order. You have to know that’s an awfully long engagement to be taken seriously. There has to be a reason you two haven’t married. Don’t get me wrong, there can be some very good reasons but with a small child between you and you with other minor children, it’s very shortsighted. What if you predecease him? I wouldn’t at all count on him taking care of your other two children. Do you have a plan for that?

There are not.

Fiancé of many years. LOL. He's just not that into you.

You’re only his fiancée when you’re planning on getting married.

Honestly you have bigger problems and should move out and file for child support.

Anonymous wrote:Fiancé of many years is buying a house (second home). He refuses to put me on the title and says it’s because I can’t pay the mortgage (I’m a stay at home mom and work part time). I’m not on the title of the house we reside in currently either. I guess if something happens to him, his older kids (he was married once before) will inherit the houses and I’ll be left with nothing. What happens in this situation? I am almost 50 and he’s five years older. I’m not money hungry but am very concerned that I won’t have a place to live with my kids (one of which is his) if something happens to him.

Fiance of many years? Why are you staying with a man who refuses to make a commitment,?! Why are you taking care of his kid(s) without marriage. He is playing you.

I’m sure there are some legal protections for you and your child should he predecease you, but it’s long past time for you to get your affairs in order. You have to know that’s an awfully long engagement to be taken seriously. There has to be a reason you two haven’t married. Don’t get me wrong, there can be some very good reasons but with a small child between you and you with other minor children, it’s very shortsighted. What if you predecease him? I wouldn’t at all count on him taking care of your other two children. Do you have a plan for that?

Anonymous wrote:You are not married. He is right. If he is fully paying for the house, it makes sense. Stop having kid until you are married with him as you have no protection. Get a full time job and save.

+1. This is correct. Or leave him