I don’t really care but have observed that use of the phrase is a pretty good predictor for whether someone will be annoying or not.

Anonymous wrote:Throughout child birth, child rearing, schooling to college… you will be offended, judged and questioned.

Get over it now!

+1. We cannot all "win" at everything. Pregnancy and birth are good practice for the loss of control you will experience as a parent.

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I try not to get caught up on stuff like that. It’s just how it’s always been described. I had two medicated births and couldn’t care less.

+1. You will always care more than anyone else about how you gave birth. I really think the obsession and comparisons in this area are unhealthy and bizarre. Practice gratitude if you were able to have a positive birth experience that resulted in a healthy child.

I don't care about the terminology that much but as someone who had a traumatic birth with an epidural that I felt forced into, I dislike when people compare birth stories or talk about childbirth as though most women have a lot of control over it. I felt very vulnerable when I gave birth, I did not have sufficient advocacy, and the epidural I only sort of agreed to made me too groggy to effectively advocate for myself.

So when people get all hung up on natural or unmedicated or whatever, and sit around talking about what women *should* do, I get annoyed because it's often loaded with judgment.

If you actually care about the medicalized nature of most childbirth in the US (which I do, in general and due to my specific experience) then advocate for pregnant women and take issue with a healthcare system that does not listen to them or trust them to know what their own bodies need. Don't go around criticizing women for the "choices" they made, often without anyone in the room who cared to let them make a choice and a lot of structures in place to force them in one direction or another.

If I had it to do again I'd get a doula but it makes me quite angry that women have to pay someone to basically advocate for and listen to them during birth. It's messed up it's even come to this.

The only woman I know who felt like she had real power and authority during her childbirth experiences had home births, but she's also quite wealthy which is part of why she felt entitled to that experience and also part of how she was able to make it happen. Most of us are pretty beholden to our insurance company and a more limited access to healthcare professionals.

Anonymous wrote:Good thing you didn’t adopt your baby. People think I am not her “real” mother.

Words matter.

Eh. You’re her mother but not her biological mother. That’s what they mean by “real” but I know you knew that.

Never heard of medicated labor. I had one without an epidural and one with. The latter was significantly easier despite being several years later.

I don’t consider an induction to be “natural labor”.

It stands out to me, and but I try to assume positive intent and that the person just doesn't know rather than is making some kind of critical statement about medicated births or c-sections. The type of people who brag about the kind of birth they have are not my people, so if that's what's going on, I really don't care what they think.

Anonymous wrote:Good thing you didn’t adopt your baby. People think I am not her “real” mother.

Words matter.

Words matter to the extent that you let them.

I don't fully get it but I see that it offends people, so I try not to use this phrase. It's easy enough be more specific or say unmedicated.

Anonymous wrote:I had a "natural birth" but I like to say i f'ing got there too late for the epidural.

Same!! 1/10, do not recommend

Good thing you didn’t adopt your baby. People think I am not her “real” mother.

Words matter.

Anonymous wrote:I tell people that I ran through the hospital halls screaming "give me drugs" and then I had them vaginally. I let people decide whether that's natural or not.

I've never heard of a more natural birth.

I thought it referred to vaginal because my dear friend with two csections always is offended and says she never had had a natural birth.

I tell people that I ran through the hospital halls screaming "give me drugs" and then I had them vaginally. I let people decide whether that's natural or not.

Throughout child birth, child rearing, schooling to college… you will be offended, judged and questioned.

Get over it now!