My kid, age 5, is very good at saying thank you but really struggled with "trick or treat!" last night. She said it the first time with our prompting, but then pretty much every other time, she would go up with her friend, collect candy, say thank you, and then say "trick or treat!" as she was walking away. She's a bit on the shy side when it comes to strangers, though it gets better every day as she gains more experience dealing with people.

I do think it's important to have realistic expectations of kids. Also, you have no idea if you are the first or 50th house they've been to -- they might be tired. I think the fact that parents were rude or didn't say thank you or "happy halloween" or something is a bigger deal -- modeling good manners and also just neighborly friendliness is really important. But if the kids don't get the halloween etiquette perfectly? Eh, cut them some slack. It doesn't mean they have bad manners, it may just mean they are still learning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our neighborhood had a ton of kids and almost all said trick or treat and thank you. Where do you live op?

In rural VA

To the one who said rural, VA. I feel sorry for the people near you.

YSA B.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids you're referring to, OP?

I'm very strict on etiquette expectations and I did make my child say thank you each time last night, but she doesn't get the "trick or treat" saying yet. She's 3. I seriously hope you are not judging preschoolers on this.

Hell yes, I am. If you are standing with your three year old, you need to tell her to say thank you. What is wrong with you?

The person you're responding to said they did make their kid say thank you each time last night just that her kid doesn't say trick or treat.

Yep. I'm very consistent on thank you and she did say it every time. But she has been living in a pandemic world for the last couple years and has no idea what the heck "trick or treat" is, even though I prepped her.

My kids, ages 7 and 5, said thank you at every single house they went to. It is something we talked about a lot before trick or treating this year. My 5 year old is really shy and barely even talks around people she knows let alone strangers but I told her that for trick or treating she HAS to say thank you and she did! If she had been too shy to speak up though, as she has been other years, I would be right there to say thank you on her behalf!

This is a pet peeve of mine--having good manners. I do not care if people actually say "trick or treat" although it's nice when they do but I do get irritated when people don't say thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids you're referring to, OP?

I'm very strict on etiquette expectations and I did make my child say thank you each time last night, but she doesn't get the "trick or treat" saying yet. She's 3. I seriously hope you are not judging preschoolers on this.

Hell yes, I am. If you are standing with your three year old, you need to tell her to say thank you. What is wrong with you?

The person you're responding to said they did make their kid say thank you each time last night just that her kid doesn't say trick or treat.

Anonymous wrote:A few didn't say trick or treat, but every kid last night said thank you. One little girl did a few twirls for me. A couple kids wanted to chat. It was a very sweet group, including the teens!

+1, I had several skip right to thank you before TNT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few didn't say trick or treat, but every kid last night said thank you. One little girl did a few twirls for me. A couple kids wanted to chat. It was a very sweet group, including the teens!

A couple of tweens showed up with capes, horns and a clipboard and tried to talk us into selling them our souls. That was a serious performance!

OP here, I love it!!! Our 12 year old neighbor was super sweet!

*Hispanic children can get autism too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was astounded by the number of kids that were accompanied by their parents but still didn't say "trick or treat" or thank me for the huge handful of candy I gave them. Their parents were right next to them, and even they didn't say thank you!!!

My kids are on the high functioning end of the spectrum and getting them to approach the houses and ring the doorbells by themselves is already a milestone. We are the parents in the back saying trick or treat and thank you from the sidewalk. They are 3 and 8. Try not to judge.

OP here -- read the bolded. Not even the parents were saying thank you. I appreciate you!

Anonymous wrote:OMG. OP, next year just leave your porch light off.

Or you could teach your kids manners, it will get them further in life.

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids you're referring to, OP?

I'm very strict on etiquette expectations and I did make my child say thank you each time last night, but she doesn't get the "trick or treat" saying yet. She's 3. I seriously hope you are not judging preschoolers on this.

Hell yes, I am. If you are standing with your three year old, you need to tell her to say thank you. What is wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:You never know who has communication issues. Mine has mild selective mutism. I prepped her to say TOT and thank you. If I didn't remind her, she might not because of the excitement of the night. She did for most of the houses and I was very proud. But if someone asked her any further questions, she probably didn't respond.

Trust me, the 30+ kids who didn't say thank you are not selectively mute. Also, if you go with her, don't YOU say thank you if she doesn't?

Anonymous wrote:A few didn't say trick or treat, but every kid last night said thank you. One little girl did a few twirls for me. A couple kids wanted to chat. It was a very sweet group, including the teens!

That's awesome - I agree that the older kids (pre-teens and teens) definitely were much more polite than the younger ones.

Yes. Good manners is the best teaching! Is the basics and all children should learn good manners. It makes a better society.
So many adults lacks good manners and empathy.

You don't need montessori or private schools to teach good manners.
It STARTS AT HOME, be good Parents, that's why you chose to have children

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. Virtually none of the kids said "Trick or Treat," and only a few said thank you.

I asked my kids to say TOT and Thank you while I stood at the end of the driveway. Mostly they were too shy to do it. Most of the adults helped them out by saying Happy Halloween! and What a cute costume!

Sorry.

OP here - my older child has literal social anxiety, like she's in therapy, and she said thank you when I continuously reminded her. She may not have been looking the person in the eye when she said it, but she said it. But again, I'm talking about people who were standing there RIGHT NEXT to their children and even the adults of two year olds didn't say thank you or respond to my Happy Halloween. And to the PP who talked about Republicans - I live in a pretty liberal neighborhood. This is NOT political.