Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 12:07     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
I think the official rule is your supposed to consider that, but ultimately its your choice how you gift.

Anyway someone started a Take My Kids Shit group in my neighborhood and now most people are on there.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 12:04     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:The world is full of people who are itching for the opportunity to tell people what to do. Seriously, you find these people EVERYWHERE. And they will seize power when given the opportunity, even if it is not at all earned and the people they wield it over don't like it. The admin of the buy-nothing group, the guy in your office who organizes the softball team, the president of your HOA, etc.

It's the Dwight Schrute rule. If there is power to be had, some self-important jackass will seize it and try to make your life miserable.

This is why I don't join "communities" anymore. It's like catnip to these people. Also won't joint the PTO. My family and friends are my community, I'm friendly with my neighbors, and I donate money and volunteer when I have the money and time to spare and I'm passionate about a cause. But I am not a joiner because I grew tired of people like this and just wanted to be free.

(I get rid of stuff by curbing it, taking it to the dump, or posting it on Nextdoor.)


This is so true! The moderator of our neighborhood listserv is like this. She and her husband support a specific subset of a political group. He gets away with vicious personal attacks on members who support other candidates, but anyone who supports other candidates or calls him out on his behavior gets "monitored" and the admin personally approves or blocks each post. She has the same double standard for anyone who supports her candidates vs the members who don't.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:56     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
I like it (though there is a lot of “flash gifting” going on in my group and that’s okay—I do it too when I just want stuff gone asap). What I like is that it avoids the situation of having the same person who is on FB all day respond asap to every post and then not pick up (or pick up, to feed their hoarder issues). Also, I usually use the group to give away good stuff that has some sentimental and/or intrinsic value (like expensive kids’ dress up outfits or a a set of Thomas trains), stuff I don’t want to drop at Goodwill. I don’t like when someone is just like “ I’ll take it.” I mean, I could sell this stuff but I’m not. I like it when someone says, I have a five year old who would love that. It does make me feel good.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:53     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
I don't really mind the simmer rule. There are a couple of people who would get everything on our BNG if there was no simmer rule. I post something and then wait until the next day and use a random number generator. I don't care about people's "stories" either. My BNG pet peeve is when you are giving away something and people don't have time to pick it up for 3 or 4 days. If other people are interested, I do believe there should be a way to give folks who can pick up within 24 hours priority for the item.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:51     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
That sounds so obnoxious. Glad my neighborhood group in DC is not like that. The only time we get admonished by admins is if we don't provide an approximate location of the item in the description.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:50     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
I assume most of the people pleading a case are making it up so I ignore.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:49     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Our group ends up with a mix of speed gift, and then for things that simmer often the gifted uses a random number generator. Sometimes they pick a friend. Sometimes it might be because someone said more than just “interested”.

Definitely doesn’t all go to white women.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:47     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.


I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.


No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.


Um, that's why people can post ISO "In Search Of." Someone posted ISO kids' coats the other day and I replied and gave away two good-condition coats. If it matters, the person who came and picked up was not white. She posted needing something, I had it to give, there ya go.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:46     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.


The “let it simmer” rule leads to the exercise of bias because apparently you are supposed to pick the person most worthy of your box of used colored markers or whatever. When you pick the first person, you have a clearly defined algorithm that doesn’t get diluted by things like race. I am honestly surprised so many admins want to promote a system that clearly leads to improper decision-making.

If you live in a diverse area, keep an eye on the posts to see how many people who are “picked” always happen to be white women.


OP here and this is something that has definitely bothered me. I've seen exactly this. That's why I always go with the first poster, and after getting my hand slapped for it, I now have to say "first come, first served."

Once or twice, someone has sent me a private message explaining that they are truly going through a tough time, and I go with them and don't mind at all that they reached out to me privately even though that's "against the rules."


I’ve seen it too and it is why I left my BN group, who also had a power-mad “let it simmer” admin. Sorry but I am not going to be part of a system that overtly introduces really problematic bias. FCFS means the decision-making process could be transparent but FCFS is discouraged by admins.


At least in my group, it's the reverse. FCFS would be racially biased because it tends not to be people of color who have all-day FB access.


But do the people of color actually get picked? My guess is that if you did a study, you’d find white women were disproportionately picked.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:39     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.


The “let it simmer” rule leads to the exercise of bias because apparently you are supposed to pick the person most worthy of your box of used colored markers or whatever. When you pick the first person, you have a clearly defined algorithm that doesn’t get diluted by things like race. I am honestly surprised so many admins want to promote a system that clearly leads to improper decision-making.

If you live in a diverse area, keep an eye on the posts to see how many people who are “picked” always happen to be white women.


OP here and this is something that has definitely bothered me. I've seen exactly this. That's why I always go with the first poster, and after getting my hand slapped for it, I now have to say "first come, first served."

Once or twice, someone has sent me a private message explaining that they are truly going through a tough time, and I go with them and don't mind at all that they reached out to me privately even though that's "against the rules."


I’ve seen it too and it is why I left my BN group, who also had a power-mad “let it simmer” admin. Sorry but I am not going to be part of a system that overtly introduces really problematic bias. FCFS means the decision-making process could be transparent but FCFS is discouraged by admins.


At least in my group, it's the reverse. FCFS would be racially biased because it tends not to be people of color who have all-day FB access.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:37     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.


I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.


No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.


So it is a rule designed mostly to help white women.


Are you in the DC Metro area? I'm in Alexandria. Our group is diverse (racially and economically) and, no, the white women (and men!) don't get everything.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:37     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.


The “let it simmer” rule leads to the exercise of bias because apparently you are supposed to pick the person most worthy of your box of used colored markers or whatever. When you pick the first person, you have a clearly defined algorithm that doesn’t get diluted by things like race. I am honestly surprised so many admins want to promote a system that clearly leads to improper decision-making.

If you live in a diverse area, keep an eye on the posts to see how many people who are “picked” always happen to be white women.


OP here and this is something that has definitely bothered me. I've seen exactly this. That's why I always go with the first poster, and after getting my hand slapped for it, I now have to say "first come, first served."

Once or twice, someone has sent me a private message explaining that they are truly going through a tough time, and I go with them and don't mind at all that they reached out to me privately even though that's "against the rules."


I’ve seen it too and it is why I left my BN group, who also had a power-mad “let it simmer” admin. Sorry but I am not going to be part of a system that overtly introduces really problematic bias. FCFS means the decision-making process could be transparent but FCFS is discouraged by admins.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:34     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
I'm bothered that in my group we aren't allowed to suggest free community resources. So I got in trouble for responding to a post requesting a notary with the info that there is a free notary at our community library. Why is relevant information about free resources excluded as a gift?!
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:34     Subject: Re:Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.


I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.


No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.


So it is a rule designed mostly to help white women.


Have you been to a medical facility recently? I don't think my practice has a single white nurse.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2022 11:32     Subject: Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'
Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.


OP here. I have never had the same person pick up stuff from me, and I certainly don't pay attention to who is getting what from others. So I don't get what's "greedy" about saying you want an item. Shrug. It doesn't matter to me if someone got a new kid's coat from me and a kid's hat from someone else.