Anonymous wrote:I had my only at 35 after 15 years of marriage, and not previously trying-- just... waiting until we were ready. AND THANK GOODNESS because we are very clearly far superior parents than we would have been even 5 years prior, let alone 10 or 15. Emphasis on WE, personally, not everyone-- but most definitely us.

What in the hell? Married for 25 years at age 35?

I don’t regrets having 2 children after 35. I got married late ( husbands’ parents didn’t like me so they did all they can to separate us that wasted us 2 years). Then I had DC1 at 35 and DC2 at 38, both c-section. And a miscarriage in between. I never thought I can be a loving mom but I knew I would be responsible for them before I I have my kids, and I guess I’m an okay mom so far, and I’m willing to do my best to raise them to be nice kids. My DH is very supportive too and we’re financially stable ( not rich but middle class), since I’m a stay at home mom I take care of both kids home until they went to preschool at 3, the first 1-3 years were tough though and the years after are easier but you still need to care and teach them, it’s an never ending job but we can’t live without our kids and never leave them for vacation and we enjoy our family life, we don’t want to go back to life before having our children if we have choice.

I had my only at 35 after 15 years of marriage, and not previously trying-- just... waiting until we were ready. AND THANK GOODNESS because we are very clearly far superior parents than we would have been even 5 years prior, let alone 10 or 15. Emphasis on WE, personally, not everyone-- but most definitely us.

Anonymous wrote:People who regret having their kids would regret it at any age.

That not true. Having kids too young can bring regrets. Your lost youth and broken bank account can't lead to some resentment and poor choices.

No regrets. When you are older and settled, you have more money and wisdom for a child.

People who regret having their kids would regret it at any age.

38. And no. First, it took five years to even get her, and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Second, I’m older but, cliche, am wiser, don’t stress the small things, have the finances and resources to give her anything she could ever need or want, and the stability of my spouse’s career to take a career pause and be a SAHM and enjoy her early years, not having to toss her into daycare or before and after school care. That last one is clutch for me. Some younger friends who absolutely have to have dual incomes struggle putting their babies into daycare all day and having to put half their salaries into the care; we’re careful with expenses and don’t have that stress, and while being a SAHM isn’t all flowers and sunshine, it sure beats the alternative for my family.

I wish I had them a few yrs earlier if the stars had aligned. Mostly bc I think if had had a little more energy for the little kid years.

But I'd much rather have had them at 36 and 39 than not at all. And ended up being a pretty good point in my career that I had control over my hours etc.

Not sure what you are asking exactly.

Anonymous wrote:I regret having them early, in a way. It wasn't planned, but I used to be totally okay with having them early because I thought I'd have all this free time when I was relatively young. But now that they are teenagers I don't really want that free time, I want to be with my kids more.

One thing I will say is that there seems to be this dynamic where couples who have kids after 35 are taking care of young kids at the same time they need to ramp up their careers and have a little less energy, and it seems like a confluence of factors makes marriage really hard around the toddler/early elementary years. At least that didn't happen to us (but I recognize it doesn't happen to a lot of people anyway).

This is true but because I have one group of friends who had kids in their mid-late twenties and another group who had friends in mid-late thirties, I see that the marital hard times hit at the same age, regardless of age of kids. I really thought "wow 5th grade seems to break a lot of marriages!" until my later friends had kids older. When mom is 40-45, it's basically a happiness trough, and eldercare responsibilities start to get heavier, and if there's any kind of resentment about work balance at home it all hits the fan.

I regret having them early, in a way. It wasn't planned, but I used to be totally okay with having them early because I thought I'd have all this free time when I was relatively young. But now that they are teenagers I don't really want that free time, I want to be with my kids more.

One thing I will say is that there seems to be this dynamic where couples who have kids after 35 are taking care of young kids at the same time they need to ramp up their careers and have a little less energy, and it seems like a confluence of factors makes marriage really hard around the toddler/early elementary years. At least that didn't happen to us (but I recognize it doesn't happen to a lot of people anyway).

I had my 3rd at 37 and don’t regret her at all! She is a joy and I love that my kids have more than one sibling.

I am old though. In our neighborhood, I am definitely on the older side to still have a young one. I don’t mind.

Given the state of the world not having kids would have been a better choice all around.

Yes, regret. I should've had no kids and lived a much better life.

Not at all.

Of Course not. If I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have any kids. Had mine at 35 and 38. No issues.