Anonymous wrote:I was the bride, and my parents paid for the wedding, but that was because they wanted the wedding. My DH and I were fine with just signing papers at the courthouse and being done with it. We went through with the wedding because it made my parents happy.

I got married fairly young and my parents paid for all of it, but they also planned almost all of it. Like this poster, I would have been very happy not having a reception at all or doing something small. Other than a small handful of friends, they invited who they wanted. They toured wedding venues without us and narrowed it down to two which then I saw. The wedding was more for the extended family, not for us.

Anonymous wrote:It was NEVER Brides parents it is Father of Bride.

Does anyone really think last huge fancy wedding I went to the Mom of Bride who has not worked in 25 years was paying.

Just stop with your ultra-misogynist stance. We can tell every time you post that you're a weird incel.

I have 2 boys and a girl. I plan to give the kids money when they get married. They can use it to pay for the wedding or use it towards a house.

Dh and I both come from humble beginnings. We paid for our wedding ourselves.

We are financially comfortable and I would not mind paying for any of our children’s weddings. If the other family has means, I would expect them to chip in. If they were poorl, I’d be fine paying for the whole thing.

Who else will love your daughter so much that they will be willing to spend a bundle on their special day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t seem fair to weddings between grooms.

I dunno my parents spent a bundle when my brother got married to a man 31 years his senior. Then he got off drugs and realized he wasn’t even bi sexual. When he married his wide during the pandemic, they had a self uniting wedding in DC with me, my DH, and three kids. Then we had a picnic.

Hmmm, so he will not be jonesing for anal?

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t seem fair to weddings between grooms.

I dunno my parents spent a bundle when my brother got married to a man 31 years his senior. Then he got off drugs and realized he wasn’t even bi sexual. When he married his wide during the pandemic, they had a self uniting wedding in DC with me, my DH, and three kids. Then we had a picnic.

I think the groom should pay for the wedding. If he cannot buy the ring and pay for a small wedding, there is no reason for him to marry.

Bride's family should pay for all their guests and grooms family should pay for all their guests. Groom and Bride should pay for their friends and their relatives that they want to invite. Bride's parents and groom's parents should pay for any of their relatives that they want to invite that the bride and groom don't want to pay for.

Ha ha! Now what? If you make the bride and groom pay for anything, they will either run to get married in the county office or elope. Or they will become super cheap and have a wedding in a barn or a backyard.

Doesn’t seem fair to weddings between grooms.

What burns me is that my feminist friends follow this. I called them on it but they were sheepish about it.

Anonymous wrote:It was NEVER Brides parents it is Father of Bride.

Does anyone really think last huge fancy wedding I went to the Mom of Bride who has not worked in 25 years was paying.

If marital assets were used, then yes, she did pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming anyone’s parents are paying and both sets of parents have the money, bride’s side should handle day of wedding and groom’s side should handle the previous night. In all three weddings we’ve been involved in recently, the expenditures were very similar, as the entire guest list was invited to an expensive rehearsal dinner/welcome party.

This is the Christian US WASP concept of rehersal and actual wedding. No. Just stop with this.

If everyone involved was a Christian US WASP, whose tradition should they have followed instead?

Not doing any of that.

Anonymous wrote:No obligation but society doesn't operate without a starting point. That starting point is "what has been the status quo? Start there. Alter as needed. Be generous when you can. These are people you love. Why wouldn't you be generous?

Life events are the centerpiece of joy in life. If you had the money, why wouldn't you?

OMG-A lot of weddings are miserable for the bride and groom. I will encourage my kids to do what we did and elope and maybe have a party. Would contribute to a low stress party for both buy and girl and help them get started in life with spouse. Not sure I would contribute to a big wedding. Causes too much drama and misery in too many families. Then you are stuck dealing with some rando cousin who feels slighted she wasn't invited even though you haven't spoken in years. Her mom makes it a federal offense. Then Auntie Busirella is upset because where you seated her. Uncle Joley is drunk again. The list goes on. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Couples are older now and should pay for it.

+1


Absolutely. Couples, unless they are early 20's, should be embarrassed to take money from their parents.

My in-laws paid for our wedding and I'll pay for my daughter's (only child) if she gets married and doesn't mind our paying. Everyone else should feel free to do what works for them and their families, but choosing to follow a tradition isn't intrinsically bad.