I had twins and could definitely have used a break at that age but I did not feel comfortable leaving them with anyone but my mother and my husband. It would have made me anxious and not able to enjoy myself. Please do not let this be a wedge between your wonderful nanny and you.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would not take it personally. I’m sure she appreciated your kind and generous offer but is not ready to accept it, for whatever reason. It does not mean she does not think you are up to the task.

This is my guess as well. It is also possible her partner nixed the idea. Try not to take it personally. It is probably better not to cross that boundary anyway.

OP, I would not take it personally. I’m sure she appreciated your kind and generous offer but is not ready to accept it, for whatever reason. It does not mean she does not think you are up to the task.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. No one watched my kid during evening or overnight until he was 3.5. And that was my closest friend.

Sleepovers will never be a thing for our family. Having caregivers is hard enough as my DH was sexually assaulted by a caregiver as a child. You do not know what history they bring to the table.

My ex-DH was also molested by a family member. I felt so sorry until I found out he was molesting our kids.

Know I tell everyone I know. Watch our around men. Rather they’re related to you or not. Husband, boyfriend, father, brother. Especially if they experience SA. When men are SA they usually turn to it themselves.

Perhaps your own home is the most dangerous place for your children. I wouldn’t have thought either.

Yes I watch all male family members since the are the most likely perpetrators of sexual violence and assault and am highly aware of grooming techniques.

I’d have said no thanks. I never left any of my babies overnight. Not even with my parents!

Plus, it’s still a business relationship. Do much can go wrong. Keep it professional

OP is nuts. Better nanny doesn’t let her babysit her baby.

I can see how this would hurt your feelings. My take is this--she's working part time now. They may not have the funds to go anywhere, especially for a weekend and she didn't want to admit that right now. Going out simply may not be in the budget and she thought saying they don't want to leave the baby with anyone (especially her boss) would sound better than saying we can't afford it (to her boss.) Just an idea.

More than one issue in this situation:

1) Employer-employee boundaries--especially because you are offering to do something for free which she does as a profession;

2) Different values. She may quietly disrespect one who would allow her children to be "raised" by another;

3) Similar to #2--different values;

4) Some aspect about you that she does not trust with respect to you watching over her child;

5) The nanny may just be afraid to permit anyone other than herself and her partner to care for her baby ;

6) Maybe you have feelings of guilt that concern her.

Offering to watch your employee’s child is completely bizarre. She’s likely looking for a new job.

At the end of the day, you are her employer. You might feel that she is also your friend/family/whatever, and maybe she does too, but you pay her bills. There will always be that power dynamic in your relationship. Given that set up, can’t you see why she might say no? (Even aside from maybe not even wanting to leave her baby for a weekend?)

Main character syndrome.

OP, my kids have never had a non-family babysitter and my oldest is almost 3. I also do not think less of my friends who’ve had a weekly date night sitter since their child was six months old. Having a different policy for childcare isn’t a judgement, it’s just personal. Don’t press it and don’t think your nanny doesn’t care/trust you.

Don’t take this personally. Remember, she hasn’t left her baby with an outside caregiver yet. It’s very hard to go from baby being cared for exclusively by parents to leaving your baby for a couple days. That’s too big of a leap. When you left your babies with her, you still saw them every day. You didn’t leave her alone with them for days at a time, right off the bat.

Also, she’s probably trying to avoid an awkward situation. She’s your employee. She follows your directives for your kids. How is she supposed to turn around and tell you that she wants things done a particular way for her baby?

Anonymous wrote:Nope. No one watched my kid during evening or overnight until he was 3.5. And that was my closest friend.

Sleepovers will never be a thing for our family. Having caregivers is hard enough as my DH was sexually assaulted by a caregiver as a child. You do not know what history they bring to the table.

My ex-DH was also molested by a family member. I felt so sorry until I found out he was molesting our kids.

Know I tell everyone I know. Watch our around men. Rather they’re related to you or not. Husband, boyfriend, father, brother. Especially if they experience SA. When men are SA they usually turn to it themselves.

Perhaps your own home is the most dangerous place for your children. I wouldn’t have thought either.

Nope. No one watched my kid during evening or overnight until he was 3.5. And that was my closest friend.

Sleepovers will never be a thing for our family. Having caregivers is hard enough as my DH was sexually assaulted by a caregiver as a child. You do not know what history they bring to the table.