Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 girls was way too many. They all fed off each other’s excitement and things got out of control.

This is what I was going to say. It's a mob at that point. Half that number would have been better.

+2 mob mentality. Most kids don’t act like this. I also think it’s highly unlikely that the 12 worst girls in the world showed up to your house. It sounds like there was some crazy energy in the air and they all fed off of it and just kept escalating. In the future, I would only have birthday parties outside the home or have fewer girls over. Also, encourage your daughter to stand up for herself and her home and belongings… If she was not cool with all of this I hope she felt comfortable saying something to her friends. If not, I would work with her to try to inspire in her a bit more confidence so that she can better stand up for herself moving forward.

I would never tolerate that from any of my kids, and I’d be shocked if I found out they behaved like that.

I think you should have called the parents the second time the kids behaved poorly (give them one warning if it wasn’t too bad).

Also my guess is that you fed them junk. That is not good when you want kids to behave calmly. You’re the parent. You make the decisions.

That’s just too many kids. My 10 year old DD normally doesn’t act like that, but when planning her upcoming birthday sleepover opted for just three of her larger friend group because, “when we all get together, it can be pretty wild.” Group dynamics are powerful.

Way too many kids. 4-5 max and only kids you know well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. My kid. Would literally. Never. Do this.

I can imagine her throwing an ice cube at a friend or being really silly and pizza falling out of her mouth (even these things are a stretch) but ripping TP holder out of that wall? Destroying a kids Lego structure?
Hell freaking no would she ever.

Also want to add that if she ever did she would 100% responsible, be blamed, would be punished, and would apologize to the family.

See all the posters saying they have had kids over but they have never acted like this?? Our kids are those kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. My kid. Would literally. Never. Do this.

I can imagine her throwing an ice cube at a friend or being really silly and pizza falling out of her mouth (even these things are a stretch) but ripping TP holder out of that wall? Destroying a kids Lego structure?
Hell freaking no would she ever.

I have never had kids act like this in my house.

These children would no longer be a part of my child’s friend group.

Not normal. Agree it's a couple of queen bees and bad eggs and yes, I would worry about what this means in the social hierarchy for your DD and how she is being treated.

These girls, at least the ones organizing mischief, know that your DD will get in trouble for this and know you will not take kindly to them and don't give a F.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

Yup, because I’m sure the parents of the girls at this party also thought “my kid would NEVER behave that way”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. My kids would never, EVER do this. I can guarantee it. My youngest was the kid crying hysterically because the game you set up to win prizes wasn't "fair". That was always fun at parties.

But trash someone's house and not follow the rules they have set? Nope. Not ever going to happen.

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

I bet one or two of the invited girls do not like your daughter. They set out to "destroy" her birthday party. 9 is prime time for girls reorganizing the social hierarchy. You had a girl or two the others looked to and were there to exert their social muscle and having other girls do bad things. Learn from this. Never more than four girls from now on, always even numbers, too.

Who broke the Lego builds? Is that a kid you've had over before? How does your dad feel about that?

Anonymous wrote:I think you needed to be more firm with your boundaries. In groups kids definitely push boundaries more.

Teachers manage 25 kids daily.

Teacher here. Yes but because of that, I have some rules that make me the meanest parent in the world according to my kids. I’m comfortable with that title.

I wont let them have large group sleepovers or parties inside. We don’t have the house set up for it. They can have 1-3 friends sleep over max.

For birthdays, I’ve let them invite large numbers but the party is outdoors. It makes it easier. They only come in for the bathroom. We have a big yard and patio. If they can’t agree to that, we find a venue.

For at home parties, I stopped trying to plan activities probably around your daughter’s age. They want to hang out and eat. My daughter and friends have always been much louder and more wild than my sons. The boys would want to sit and play video games together. The girls run and scream.

No, it’s not normal for them to trash your house.