Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when people are talking about this, they are talking about how physical boys are vs girls.

If you don’t believe me, go to a room full of twenty six year old boys and another one full of twenty six year old girls and see for yourself.

Yes, I read a pink/blue brain book a while ago and the only reliable difference was the boys on average have a higher physical activity level. Much of the rest is socialization.

Isn’t the physical activity level socialization too? I have a VERY high energy girl and I have always assumed that it’s at least in part because I ditched the stroller early and made her walk everywhere and took her to the playground a lot. Expecting boys to be high energy means we wear them out more they build up more stamina and need more active life styles.

Anonymous wrote:I think when people are talking about this, they are talking about how physical boys are vs girls.

If you don’t believe me, go to a room full of twenty six year old boys and another one full of twenty six year old girls and see for yourself.

Yes, I read a pink/blue brain book a while ago and the only reliable difference was the boys on average have a higher physical activity level. Much of the rest is socialization.

I feel like this thread is half people saying “well yes kids are individuals but here are the generalizations I’ve noticed in my own limited experience” and half people trying to point out that generalization are what lead to stereotypes and different expectations for boys and girls and big problems for those kids who don’t fit nicely into the stereotypes. I have a DD who loves pink, unicorns, has basically every stereotypically girl interest you could think of. She also has severe hyperactive ADHD. And people just can’t handle that combination. How can she love pink but be constantly running/climbing doing “tomboy things”. She must be wild and poorly disciplined. There is SO much judgment for girls who can’t sit nicely and color, expectations are SO high. I have a son too and it feels like everyday he’s basically being encouraged to do things that would get my DD in trouble because “oh, boys are so active, what are you going to do?” Makes me insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys make a bigger mess when they pee.

Seriously, that’s it. And the boy mom/girl mom stuff is gross.

My boy kid still sits to pee, so he's really very clean! We'll see when that changes, since he's just 5.

The first PP is just wrong. There are often major differences. Boy moms have to become more comfortable with constant movement and noise. Physical activity is just part of being most boys. That’s not to say girls aren’t the same but we are generalizing here. Also, boys often balk at suggestions and ideas to get involved and get creative. Granted, some are naturally inclined to do so but many show their insecurities by stating that they hate a certain activity and won’t get involved. I find more girls are willing to try something first before declaring that it is not their thing. Boys love their mothers but it isn’t always shown through traditional affections. They want their mother’s attention and will often try anything to get it, even being the so-called problem child. I find girls are often deemed pleasers.

Again, nothing here is universal but certain stereotypes and generalizations are made for a reason.


2nd PP needs to get her kid standing to pee before kindergarten or there will be problems. I don’t care what gender one identifies with but if you have a typical male child, standing to pee is part of the deal. You wouldn’t teach a girl not to wear a bra or use tampons just because it’s easier for you would you?

Anonymous wrote:I have four of one gender and two of the other gender. In my experience all the gender stereotypes fell away by about age 3. Prior to that the girls were slightly lower energy and could sit and color for longer, while the boys rough-housed more.

I agree as someone with both. The differences are not great enough for there to be camps. The main difference for me is wildness. Both are into throwing stuff and wrestling, but the boys a bit more so. The messes, toilet stuff, eating habits, slobbiness, is equally bad. Two of my opposite sex children have mild Aspergers, which makes them a lot alike. If anything I'd identify as an Aspie mom rather than sex distribution mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys make a bigger mess when they pee.

Seriously, that’s it. And the boy mom/girl mom stuff is gross.

+1

My two boys never make a mess when they pee, and they are very tidy and clean...

Anonymous wrote:

This is older, but it rings true to me as a boy mom. And it definitely portrays what I see/perceive of girl moms.

Not true at all for me. I have 3 girls and I am definitely the boy mom here. Lol, I wish.

It's really hard to draw conclusions from individual examples because the difference will be in distribution which overlap a lot. Just like there are many women stronger than many men, but the distribution of male upper body strength will be shifted to the right relative to women's.

I would expect the distribution for physical size, physicality, preference for building stuff vs. dolls, predilection for weapons to be more of those thing sfor boys than for girls.

I have four of one gender and two of the other gender. In my experience all the gender stereotypes fell away by about age 3. Prior to that the girls were slightly lower energy and could sit and color for longer, while the boys rough-housed more.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. I have 2 girls and then a boy. While the two girls have VERY different personalities, the boy is different in another way. One of my girls is/was always very girly, the other is your classical tomboy who only play with boys. However, the boy seems to follow his instinct more, be more physical, listen less and act before he thinks.

Also, the OT at my son’s preschool told me “I know everyone likes to say that there are no gender differences, but it’s not true… there definitely are”.

Why do we try to say that gender has no meaning or influence on behaviors and personalities in beyond me.

I don't think it's right to say that gender has *no* meaning, but that only gets you so far with an individual kid. I think that people are quick to ascribe to gender what is just personality. Or to think that it's all innate, when gender stereotypes and norms shape how people interact with kids and how kids express themselves. A lot of confirmation bias going on, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is older, but it rings true to me as a boy mom. And it definitely portrays what I see/perceive of girl moms.

There is some truth here but also, as a mom of a girl, I relate A LOT to the boy mom in this video. If you don't think I've barked at my kid to put her shoes on NOW because we are late, or gone into her room right after I cleaned it up to see abject disaster, you are mistaken. I've watched three girls absolutely shred my house before, egging each other on, too. Do they do it wearing fairy wings and giggling instead of swinging fake swords around and calling each other poophead? Sometimes!

I agree that boys tend to be rowdier overall and just more physical, and yes they do seem to be drawn to more violent toys for some reason (truly I don't know why, but my DD has never expressed an interest in having a play gun or sword whereas my nephews loooove that stuff). But I actually think we may have more in common than you think.

Agree. I only have girls. We've had plenty of playroom messes, and they completely leave out all the craft messes. They also leave out all the emotional girl drama. I agree I've probably had way less damage/destruction in my house over the years and overall less noise. But there is still plenty of stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is older, but it rings true to me as a boy mom. And it definitely portrays what I see/perceive of girl moms.

There is some truth here but also, as a mom of a girl, I relate A LOT to the boy mom in this video. If you don't think I've barked at my kid to put her shoes on NOW because we are late, or gone into her room right after I cleaned it up to see abject disaster, you are mistaken. I've watched three girls absolutely shred my house before, egging each other on, too. Do they do it wearing fairy wings and giggling instead of swinging fake swords around and calling each other poophead? Sometimes!

I agree that boys tend to be rowdier overall and just more physical, and yes they do seem to be drawn to more violent toys for some reason (truly I don't know why, but my DD has never expressed an interest in having a play gun or sword whereas my nephews loooove that stuff). But I actually think we may have more in common than you think.

+1
Every day, man, every day. (Including the constant jokes about butts and farts.) And my daughter LOVES to roughhouse with her dad.

I don’t know. I have 2 girls and then a boy. While the two girls have VERY different personalities, the boy is different in another way. One of my girls is/was always very girly, the other is your classical tomboy who only play with boys. However, the boy seems to follow his instinct more, be more physical, listen less and act before he thinks.

Also, the OT at my son’s preschool told me “I know everyone likes to say that there are no gender differences, but it’s not true… there definitely are”.

Why do we try to say that gender has no meaning or influence on behaviors and personalities in beyond me.

Anonymous wrote:I HATE "boy mom" v. "girl mom" as identities. The real differences are:
(1) cleaning up pee
(2) doing hair
(3) teaching about menstruation (which is only a moderate difference, because all kids should learn about how babies are made, including the basics of the reproductive systems of both sexes, and everyone needs to know about consent and respect for partners and themselves)
That's it. Maybe boys are noisier on average, or have less "dramatic" friendships on average, but there is as much variation within the sexes as between them, and what's true on average can easily be untrue for a specific boy or girl. Boys can be just as sensitive, girls can be just as physical. Boys can have frenemies and be catty, girls can be messy and smelly and not care about how they look. Puberty makes them all a mess.

Boy mom here and I do a lot of hair. Up until about 8 years old my kid had braids; I washed and braided his hair every two weeks. He's older now and has gone back to wearing braids so I"m back to braiding it every two weeks for him (he washes it himself now).

I have 2 of each. There are innate biological differences that I find wonderful and interesting and enjoyable. I think anyone that makes a big deal about the gender of their child will miss out on the fun and happiness that they can teach us. I revel in their differences and my boys have exposed me to some topics and hobbies I would have never known about if it weren't for them and their interests.

I had a friend years ago that HATED little boys. I had to stop being friends with her after I had my first son(he was my second child) because it came up so often with her that it felt downright rude after a while. She would say things like "oh it doesn't matter what clothes you buy boys...they are just boys". Or "I have to get my daughter's tear duct fixed because she's a girl and it will be gross to have her eye tearing up all the time. If she was a boy it wouldn't matter". It was honestly kind of disgusting.

Yes my boys were messier and dirtier and more physical as young children (OK, as older teens they still are messier and dirtier and more physical lol). But my love for them is all that mattered to me and any inconveniences from EITHER the boys or girls were just things about them that were part of them .