High ticket items should be consultative to a large degree because there is typically a collective pot of $ and it is actually a zero sum situation.

We both make roughly similar incomes and we would discuss expensive purchases. We even keep our money separate for the most part (get paid into personal accounts and then move to a joint account for joint investments/bills every month) but would still do it. I suppose I wouldn't know if my husband bought something expensive without telling me but it's not something he would do. On the flip side, I can't imagine one of us vetoing something the other wanted to buy unless it was really outlandish. Hasn't happened yet in 12 years of marriage.

I don’t think it matters that you’re a SAHM. Not sure why that comes into it the discussion. If you worked, you would also be raising eyebrows.

I don’t think he needs to ask permission, per se, but certainly my DH would ask my opinion/thoughts. He likes my feedback!

I ask for forgiveness, not permission.

We are over $300k HHI almost equal earners (5k difference). We discuss everything over $200 unless it's a gift for the other.

We also discuss anything over $200. We both work and contribute to the household. It works for us to talk about these purchases and be on the same page.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a sahm and Dh earns a high income. We don’t ask one another but I will give Dh a heads up if I’m buying something expensive. Dh bought a Rolex and didn’t mention it. He already has a Rolex. I am totally fine with him getting one but feel like he should have mentioned it.

Do you tell your spouse about high ticket items?
Does it matter if one spouse is the only one earning an income?

Yes.
No.

Early in our marriage we agreed to a dollar limit at which we needed to let one another know before the purchase. When I was a sahm nothing changed wrt how we spent money. DH broke the rule first long ago but it wasn't on anything frivolous. He did it again and bought an item related to a hobby that I think is kind of outrageous but we can easily afford it. I did it myself recently and he was bugged. I just reminded him that my item was less expensive than his.

The amount wouldn’t bother me, assuming he makes $1M or so.

But a freaking Swiss watch? It’s just jewelry nowadays. Kids wear watches and never even set the time. Is he like 60 or something?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is making the money and spent on something that he likes. What's the big deal? He is not spending your money.

Bingo.

No, it’s not bingo. It’s their money.

Sure is. How you view it depends on where you sit in the money making, or not, of a household.

Anonymous wrote:Hi op, I’m a sahm also and my husband earns a high income. We do inform each other before we buy expensive items. It’s your money too. He should’ve told you.

I work but this is my attitude about stay at home moms. It is joint money. I discuss purchases with my husband. I probably overshare about what I’m going to buy just in daily conversations. Aside from clothes and shoes I think we discuss our purchases with each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is making the money and spent on something that he likes. What's the big deal? He is not spending your money.

Bingo.

No, it’s not bingo. It’s their money.

Hi op, I’m a sahm also and my husband earns a high income. We do inform each other before we buy expensive items. It’s your money too. He should’ve told you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is making the money and spent on something that he likes. What's the big deal? He is not spending your money.

They are married. Both their money.

Well, OP can get a high paying job and contribute in family's income too. I think it is very controlling of her to not work and still feeling insecure about this. Seems like her ego is hurt and it is more to satisfy it.

When you sign a marriage contract you agree that marital income and assets are for both spouses. It's an understanding based on the law. It has nothing to do with ego or control.

LOL nobody "signs a marriage contract", least of all one that has any agreement about money.

Oh it's an understanding, an implicit agreement? And when people say a marriage contract is an implicit agreement that you'll have sex?

If there had to be an explicit, signed marriage contract, you can bet men would specify the frequency and type of sexual encounters.

We discuss anything over $250

HHI is $250k for what it's worth