Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean girl cliques that your daughter can’t escape from

+1

Why are the girls so mean and cliquey? Not very smart either.

Anonymous wrote:Conspicuous consumption competition. The other kids have designer this and limited edition that and all the latest tech. It’s impossible to keep up. We preach non-materialism at home and our kids are mostly believers, but having constant conversations about reigning in jealousy and us always having to say no really drains me. And it drains the kids.

I could have written this exact statement. I have noticed this too at our child's private middle school. It pains me bc I grew up in a family that struggled to make ends meet, and I worked very hard to get to where we are today. Our child thinks we are poor, whereas we have no trouble paying for food, shelter, and discretionary expenses within reason. Our teaching of non-materialism isn't sticking the way we had hoped, though maybe this is just a phase.

Also, the kids live throughout the DC area so it's really hard to get together outside school.

We might switch back to public - each has its pros and cons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wish I had dug a little deeper and realized how little they push the kids in math.

I stupidly went into this thinking that smaller class size means my kid gets a lot more attention than in public. Actually my kid is getting a little bit more attention, because all of the families are expecting their kid (and themselves as parents/consumers) to get a lot more attention than in public. I also stupidly thought that all the kids at our not-that-competitive private would be bright and have no major issues, when in fact many of them are at this school precisely *because* they need extra help and were falling behind.

Interesting. We are experiencing a variation on this, but not as negative (yet). I feel like DD's classmates fall into one of three categories: visiting international students with weak English but a lot of support at home, they usually catch up quickly; kids who are a little too emotional to thrive in a large class but not all the way to needing an IEP; and kids (like mine) who are bright enough to get ignored at our public but not brilliant enough for special assignments in public. I do feel like DD gets a lot more attention than she did in public.

OP didn't ask what the pros of private school are but for us the music and arts emphasis is a big reason we've stayed rather than return to public where those activities are an afterthought at best.

This may get to be a more serious problem as your kids get older. Sometimes what seems to other parents to be a minor problem is actually a big one as the kid's emotional maturity or underlying issue (ASD or whatever) becomes a bigger problem as expectations increase with age.

Lack of outdoor amenities -- no fancy playground equipment, the kids make up ball games to play on the parking lot. Also the kids don't have lockers, they put their backpacks on hooks. That's pretty much it, I love everything else. (Catholic school)

Anonymous wrote:Mean girl cliques that your daughter can’t escape from

+1

Anonymous wrote:How awkward it is that we can't really reciprocare the things DD gets invited to do (like, ski vacations to Colorado). I really am grateful that she is included and try to be a fun and caring house to visit and sleep over, but there's just no way we can afford what other parents are spending on my kid.

I would guess that those parents are thrilled to have your child along for these adventures!! When I grew up we were the family that gave out those invitations (my friends traveled with us to Disney, or the del Coronado, and so on) and they reciprocated how they could and it was always appreciated!!!! My parents were thrilled to see me happy with my friend along!!! What you are providing in exchange sounds wonderful and will be looked back upon warmly!

Anonymous wrote:Wish I had dug a little deeper and realized how little they push the kids in math.

I stupidly went into this thinking that smaller class size means my kid gets a lot more attention than in public. Actually my kid is getting a little bit more attention, because all of the families are expecting their kid (and themselves as parents/consumers) to get a lot more attention than in public. I also stupidly thought that all the kids at our not-that-competitive private would be bright and have no major issues, when in fact many of them are at this school precisely *because* they need extra help and were falling behind.

Interesting. We are experiencing a variation on this, but not as negative (yet). I feel like DD's classmates fall into one of three categories: visiting international students with weak English but a lot of support at home, they usually catch up quickly; kids who are a little too emotional to thrive in a large class but not all the way to needing an IEP; and kids (like mine) who are bright enough to get ignored at our public but not brilliant enough for special assignments in public. I do feel like DD gets a lot more attention than she did in public.

OP didn't ask what the pros of private school are but for us the music and arts emphasis is a big reason we've stayed rather than return to public where those activities are an afterthought at best.

Anonymous wrote:Lack of much racial/ethnic diversity

Lack of economic diversity

Lack of working mothers

More limited opportunities for friendship/more social drama

Re: the lack of racial/ethnic diversity, it depends on where you live. If you live in a W school district in MoCo or a JKLM in DC, you will most definitely find more racial/ethnic diversity and even some more economic diversity due to FA/scholarships in a private. I am AA and plan to send my children to private after a few years in our well regarded public elementary in one of these neighborhoods school so that they can be around more UMC AA children.

Mean girl cliques that your daughter can’t escape from

The major con for me is the overwhelming wealth and privilege. It's a complete bubble.
My kids came to two different Big3 high schools from a wealthy public.
The public pales in comparison to the private schools in terms of consumption.

Anonymous wrote:Lack of much racial/ethnic diversity

Lack of economic diversity

Lack of working mothers

More limited opportunities for friendship/more social drama

Our private HS, almost all the moms work. It is very different from our public APS where I was one of the only working mothers. My neighborhood is primarily SAHM moms.

There is a lot of diversity at my kids' high school. The kids come from all over the DMV, near and far, and there is good financial aid so there is much, MUCH more economic diversity than our wealthy public schools.

Private high school for my boys (Freshmen & Junior).

None. They (and we) are very, very happy.

Price, of course, is the only drawback but we didn't pick one of the $40-60k/year ones. We pay that for two each year.

Anonymous wrote:I certainly wasn't expecting my DD's class to be 80% boys, 50% of whom don't behave well. But there's only one class per grade so we're kinda stuck, for now.

It's so hard when you come in with your oldedt child in the entry year, because it's difficult to know who's going to be in the class.

I certainly wasn't expecting my DD's class to be 80% boys, 50% of whom don't behave well. But there's only one class per grade so we're kinda stuck, for now.

Another one here at a second tier but well regarded private. Biggest issue is the cohort of kids with behavior issues. Seems to cater to those with issues and least common denominator (at least with the return to school post COVID).
Small class sizes have drawbacks- too small socially and annoying/poorly behaved kids have outsized impact on a class. (E.g. annoying kid in 10 person class very different from in a 30 person class).
This year we will be thinking about whether to return the following year.