Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I meant to add that I’m personally skeptical of the value of top-level travel teams for kids under age 11 or so. Player development is so much more important than attending tournament after tournament. Also, the coaches on the lower-level teams were often more motivated because they were trying to build their careers, so they’d spend more time with the kids. I didn’t see how old your kid was, but if your instinct is saying that the top-level team isn’t a good development experience for a kid in elementary, you might be on to something there.

OP here with an update. DS is playing on the top-level travel team, but is getting short shifted for lack of 'quick thinking' and game IQ. Can't blame the coach because we see it, too. However, the coaching and practices have been really good, much better than what is available to DS in the lower level teams, and we're still supplementing with privates and small groups. Rarely they combine team practices with the clubs' second team and DS's skill level and athleticism is significantly ahead of the kids in the second team, so I guess we're in the right place. Like the poster above, I think at this age, we care more about development and not less about how much time he gets in tournament play. Due to his birthday and the way the sport is structured, he's one of the youngest kids on a team that spans two birth years, so that plus the ADHD is working against him. If nothing else, he's got a sport that he can play well in high school and probably at the club level in college, which is all we really want out of this sport anyway. He's learning to what it takes to be successful at something, and it is helping with executive functioning to a degree, and he has made some great friends and mentors along the way. I haven't mentioned ADHD to the coach, but honestly, I don't know how he could miss it....

Lack of field sense/sport IQ is a frequent issue for inattentive ADHD athletes at a higher level, and if they have the skills and are otherwise elite, it’s pretty much what holds them back. My son did well with hockey, but the pace of the game and the way lines were set up helped him have a more structured understanding of his role in the ice. I saw my girls in field sports end up really struggling in late middle school. If I had a better grasp on the situation earlier, I would have pushed them to think about their secondary sports (softball and volleyball- they’re girls) as a place to put the bulk of their effort when they were younger. Our youngest was able to watch her sisters’ struggles and put her passion into an individual sport.

My DH has ADHD and found his place in high school and D1 rowing. This isn’t the end, OP, just a turning point in how to think about ADHD. Adult life is easier and more fulfilling if you work around the ADHD and learn to lean towards other strengths rather than fighting it.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I meant to add that I’m personally skeptical of the value of top-level travel teams for kids under age 11 or so. Player development is so much more important than attending tournament after tournament. Also, the coaches on the lower-level teams were often more motivated because they were trying to build their careers, so they’d spend more time with the kids. I didn’t see how old your kid was, but if your instinct is saying that the top-level team isn’t a good development experience for a kid in elementary, you might be on to something there.

OP here with an update. DS is playing on the top-level travel team, but is getting short shifted for lack of 'quick thinking' and game IQ. Can't blame the coach because we see it, too. However, the coaching and practices have been really good, much better than what is available to DS in the lower level teams, and we're still supplementing with privates and small groups. Rarely they combine team practices with the clubs' second team and DS's skill level and athleticism is significantly ahead of the kids in the second team, so I guess we're in the right place. Like the poster above, I think at this age, we care more about development and not less about how much time he gets in tournament play. Due to his birthday and the way the sport is structured, he's one of the youngest kids on a team that spans two birth years, so that plus the ADHD is working against him. If nothing else, he's got a sport that he can play well in high school and probably at the club level in college, which is all we really want out of this sport anyway. He's learning to what it takes to be successful at something, and it is helping with executive functioning to a degree, and he has made some great friends and mentors along the way. I haven't mentioned ADHD to the coach, but honestly, I don't know how he could miss it....

If your kid is on meds, there are NCAA rules on which meds the student athlete takes. There is documentation to be provided and this is true for all divisions. You can’t keep it a secret.

So growing up you never had coaches complain that you weren't focused, lacked field vision, or appeared distracted or bored on the field?

NP. I had diagnosed ADHD, and never had coaches complain of those things - but, I got a lot of complaints about not being tough enough (emotionally, when the game was not going my team's way, and also not being able to handle minor injury/tough contact well enough). So it may manifest itself differently in different kids.

When it's 1v1, 2v2 or 3v3 drills or small area games, DC is easily one of the top couple players on the team, but when the game gets bigger, DC gets lost

But those types of drills and small area games may require different strengths to be really good at them than full sided games. What is the problem exactly in the larger games? You should be watching where the ball is at all times and moving yourself into position accordingly. If you are not doing that, it's probably not going to work out. Is the issue not picking the best passing option in tight decision times? I'm not trying to argue with you, just trying to understand what exactly is going on to be able to offer some helpful advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if he really loves the sport, it wouldn't be an issue. I played D1 soccer with undiagnosed ADHD inattentive. All that exercise was like medication and I loved loved loved the sport. If you tried to get me to play baseball or golf or something there is no way. He needs something that he is totally interested in and passionate about.

So growing up you never had coaches complain that you weren't focused, lacked field vision, or appeared distracted or bored on the field? I believe DC found the right sport, and DC definitely needs exercise to stay sane, but full games are really hard. When it's 1v1, 2v2 or 3v3 drills or small area games, DC is easily one of the top couple players on the team, but when the game gets bigger, DC gets lost. Hoping DC will grow out of it like a PP's kid, or DC can always downgrade to a less competitive travel team and play in high school.

OP, if he really loves the sport, it wouldn't be an issue. I played D1 soccer with undiagnosed ADHD inattentive. All that exercise was like medication and I loved loved loved the sport. If you tried to get me to play baseball or golf or something there is no way. He needs something that he is totally interested in and passionate about.

Mine isn't a success story but one of acceptance that happened organically and without the pain I anticipated.

Pretty much the same situation as your son: highly motivated, tons of extra effort and hyper focus, benefitted hugely from private training (as you mentioned, didn't learn well in the group), always most skilled player on the field and yet not as effective in games as he could/should have been. And it definitely got worse when soccer aged moved from 7 v 7 to 9 v 9 and then to 11 v 11. I honestly think there got to be too many variables, too many decisions, too much space, and he just couldn't process it fast enough. Or sometimes I thought that wasn't true... like his decision making and field vision were actually superior so maybe there was some disconnect between the brain and the body's execution? His body affect absolutely projected lack of interest and effort, which was not true in any way.

Anyway, to summarize, around age 14 or so I think he recognized that, while very good overall, he wasn't among the elite of the elite. He sort of gradually stopped asking for private training or small group training. Like when a group would wrap up for the summer and a friend would move on, he wouldn't hustle to find a new group. Eventually he decided to switch a lower level travel team, just a totally different experience for family investment and still plenty of fun for him and everyone. Around the same time he was losing the intense interest in soccer, he developed a new passion. Anyway, it all worked out.

It was a huge relief to me because I had thought he *needed* the high level soccer, that it was part of his identity, but he both kept the love and moved on.

I’m the PP with the kid who will play college and at 13 DC definitely looked bored/distracted at times in games at that age, even though he was obsessed and practicing for hours in his own. I am pretty sure it was the ADHD because he wasn’t bored at all. Idk. He grew out of it.

Hmm. So my child has ADHD, and I don't know the answer to what you are asking, since he is only 13. However, I have never noticed him looking bored or disinterested during his travel soccer games. His body language looks bored and disinterested at other times, sure.


Inattentive type though?

Yes. However, as I am sure you are aware, even those with inattentive ADHD can hyperfocus on things they are interested in.

Anonymous wrote:

However, DC is inconsistent in actual games - body language often suggests DC is bored or disinterested during games, which I believe goes back to ADHD, and wonder if the ADHD is an insurmountable obstacle to play a team sport at a high level.

Hmm. So my child has ADHD, and I don't know the answer to what you are asking, since he is only 13. However, I have never noticed him looking bored or disinterested during his travel soccer games. His body language looks bored and disinterested at other times, sure.

Inattentive type though?

However, DC is inconsistent in actual games - body language often suggests DC is bored or disinterested during games, which I believe goes back to ADHD, and wonder if the ADHD is an insurmountable obstacle to play a team sport at a high level. DC is still young so maybe as a teenager focus will improve.

Could just be a maturity lag/lack of resilience. He'll potentially grow out of it.

However, DC is inconsistent in actual games - body language often suggests DC is bored or disinterested during games, which I believe goes back to ADHD, and wonder if the ADHD is an insurmountable obstacle to play a team sport at a high level.

Hmm. So my child has ADHD, and I don't know the answer to what you are asking, since he is only 13. However, I have never noticed him looking bored or disinterested during his travel soccer games. His body language looks bored and disinterested at other times, sure.

I’m the PP with the inattentive kid who is going to play in college and he did say one thing he is struggling with now is how much to disclose to coaches. There is a lot of stigma.

PP here. I meant to add that I’m personally skeptical of the value of top-level travel teams for kids under age 11 or so. Player development is so much more important than attending tournament after tournament. Also, the coaches on the lower-level teams were often more motivated because they were trying to build their careers, so they’d spend more time with the kids. I didn’t see how old your kid was, but if your instinct is saying that the top-level team isn’t a good development experience for a kid in elementary, you might be on to something there.