Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Using phrases like “disciplined dieter” would be one clue that you’re engaged in an eating disorder. I’m guessing there are a whole host of rituals and restrictions that you regularly engage in. You intentionally restrict food so that you can see the definition of muscle after a work out.

You know this is an issue and you’re fooling yourself if you think your daughter isn’t picking up on it.

+1
That’s an eating disorder. Lots of women with eating disorders don’t think their eating or behaviors are at all disordered, just “disciplined.” Oh hey - you.

You know we can’t see your body and have no idea what you’re talking about when you say “DCUM discusses women with my body type.”

Wtf? You should be disciplined with exercise and food. And alcohol. And work. And sex. And screen time.

The women I know who have disordered relationship with food give food/exercise *too much mental space.* it’s not really discipline, it’s obsession. They end up talking about it all the time, fussing over their food all the time, rigid about their exercise (to the point of inconveniencing others).

Do friends and family comment or notice your food choices at celebrations/holidays? Would your husband say you are a very restrictive eater? Do you eat the same dinner as your family? You should be aware of the message you send your daughter. Girls are parodying their “half an almond” Moms on TikTok, albeit some seem like a humblebrag. I am guessing there are elements of dysfunction in every disciplined dieter, just as in people that eat whatever, whenever they like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally feel that once you have an eating disorder you always have an eating disorder. It is a mental health condition that you manage. If you are managing it well, it is not impacting your physical health, your mental health, or your relationships with others. What does your doctor say about your weight?

+1

I’m an anorexic and bulimic in the same way that a dry drunk is an alcoholic. I’m always managing it. Sometimes I slip off (binge and purge) then I gotta get back on the wagon. I’m in my 40s and this has been my life since 14.

I disagree. I have been fully recovered for 20 years, and I know this because I can spend time with women who have eating disorders, and it doesn't trigger me to change my behavior. I will order a steak and potato and eat it in front of you while you have your salad, because I don't envy the internal suffering you're experiencing. Eating disorders are mental hell. I like my balanced and happy life that doesn't revolve around food.

The difference is in your mental state. If you're always thinking about food, you have an eating disorder.

In high school I was very thin, 120 lbs, an athlete. I dieted down to 110. Not a big difference in weight, but my brain was affected. I couldn't concentrate. I was hungry all the time. I always wanted to binge eat. I'd be thinking about lunch right after breakfast. I struggled studying or paying attention in class because my brain was focused on food--because it needed more. I often felt depressed, I had mood swings and was emotionally labile. On the outside, I just looked like a very disciplined eater who worked out regularly and ate balanced, healthy meals while skipping dessert.

Gained weight, got back to 120, let myself eat when hungry (intuitive eating!), and I got my brain back. I will not diet again. And I've yet to meet a "very disciplined" eater or woman with very low body fat who doesn't clearly have an eating disorder.

Anonymous wrote:What is your bmi? If it's above 18 and below 23 you don't have an eating disorder, case closed

Lol no

Anonymous wrote:I personally feel that once you have an eating disorder you always have an eating disorder. It is a mental health condition that you manage. If you are managing it well, it is not impacting your physical health, your mental health, or your relationships with others. What does your doctor say about your weight?

+1

I’m an anorexic and bulimic in the same way that a dry drunk is an alcoholic. I’m always managing it. Sometimes I slip off (binge and purge) then I gotta get back on the wagon. I’m in my 40s and this has been my life since 14.

Anonymous wrote:Ok but a “hard” workout for the average person is not even close to what it would be for a professional athlete. I’m mainly referring to a workout where you feel challenged; whether that’s struggling to finish the last few reps while lifting, or sweating a bit while biking or jogging. I think many people consider walking to be their main form of exercise and for me it just doesn’t get me to my strength goals.

We don’t all have the same goals as you. For me, daily walks are sufficient.

Ok but a “hard” workout for the average person is not even close to what it would be for a professional athlete. I’m mainly referring to a workout where you feel challenged; whether that’s struggling to finish the last few reps while lifting, or sweating a bit while biking or jogging. I think many people consider walking to be their main form of exercise and for me it just doesn’t get me to my strength goals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think restricting food to attain muscle definition is an eating disorder. I’m right in the normal BMI range, but to stay there in middle age means food restriction for many women (including me).

I don’t know where that line is, but I can’t agree that disciplined eating is the deciding factor. In fact it’s something more Americans should be doing IMO.

The OP works out “hard and often” and diets to get a “very lean frame.” Those aren’t red flags for you?

Some people need to restrict their diets for medical reasons. Wanting to look skinny isn’t a medical reason. More Americans should eat less and eat less processed foods and should move more. That’s not the same as the kind of rigid discipline the OP describes.

Working out hard and often should be the norm. Somewhere in the range of 4-6 days a week is right for me, but people have different needs. A very lean frame is consistent with OP’s goal to attain muscle definition. As long as your body is getting the nutrients it needs, and your diet and exercise regimen isn’t causing other issues with spending time with family, work performance or enjoying time with friends, I consider it normal.

For whom? Professional athletes don’t work out hard that many days/week, because they can’t if they want to hit their goals. They know the importance of recovery and proper fueling. Heck, even non-professional athletes, people training for a race or whatever, should follow that model. Non-athletes benefit from regular exercise, which doesn’t have to be crazy intense, for health.

The only people who think daily hard workouts + restricted eating “should be” the norm are those with eating disorders or at best, disordered eating and distorted body image. I say this as someone who was a competitive athlete for years, did doubles regularly, etc. Working out hard and dieting harder purely to look a certain way is not healthy, no matter how you spin it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is a wildly inaccurate, sexist, and racist means of determining healthy weight, FYI

Lmao

What are you laughing at?
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-bmi-accurate/amp/