Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

You grew up in this area and can't figure out that poor people live here too? Your schools did a disservice to you in the critical thinking and observational skill development areas.

This. I grew up upper middle class at best, child of immigrants. Went to Exeter at 13… I live in DC now and work for a nonprofit, as does my spouse. Even at 13 i knew how privileged i was, and I wanted to live my life giving back. It was credo of our boarding school too (forget Zuckerberg, who went there after me). We were all steeped in the “non sibi” way. Im really surprised when people come out of good schools not realizing they are trapped in a bubble. It’s probably the biggest reason we’re sending our kids to public schools. Get out there OP! There’s a whole wide world where you can use your education to make a difference and just broaden your own horizons about what makes a life.

Noooo, you send your kids to public because that's what nonprofit workers can afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

You grew up in this area and can't figure out that poor people live here too? Your schools did a disservice to you in the critical thinking and observational skill development areas.

This. I grew up upper middle class at best, child of immigrants. Went to Exeter at 13… I live in DC now and work for a nonprofit, as does my spouse. Even at 13 i knew how privileged i was, and I wanted to live my life giving back. It was credo of our boarding school too (forget Zuckerberg, who went there after me). We were all steeped in the “non sibi” way. Im really surprised when people come out of good schools not realizing they are trapped in a bubble. It’s probably the biggest reason we’re sending our kids to public schools. Get out there OP! There’s a whole wide world where you can use your education to make a difference and just broaden your own horizons about what makes a life.

Noooo, you send your kids to public because that's what nonprofit workers can afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

You grew up in this area and can't figure out that poor people live here too? Your schools did a disservice to you in the critical thinking and observational skill development areas.

This. I grew up upper middle class at best, child of immigrants. Went to Exeter at 13… I live in DC now and work for a nonprofit, as does my spouse. Even at 13 i knew how privileged i was, and I wanted to live my life giving back. It was credo of our boarding school too (forget Zuckerberg, who went there after me). We were all steeped in the “non sibi” way. Im really surprised when people come out of good schools not realizing they are trapped in a bubble. It’s probably the biggest reason we’re sending our kids to public schools. Get out there OP! There’s a whole wide world where you can use your education to make a difference and just broaden your own horizons about what makes a life.

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are in your 30's. Your parents and teachers did you a big disservice by not teaching you about the real world. Why not start volunteering at a local food bank so that you can get a taste of reality.

I find that a lot of wealthy families DO have their kids do this kind of service and they do understand that some people are poor. What their kids tend not to grasp is how middle class kids'--the ones they go to college with, work with, are friends with--lives are very different than theirs. They tend to make all sorts of oblivious assumptions and are like bulls in the china shop when it comes to tact around what others are worried about, need to be frugal about, have to prioritize etc.

YES. I’m the poster who went from public to a big three. I remember the wealthy kids always asking me for money and not paying me back! Like the ice cream truck man would come after school and if I bought something, and people saw I was paying with a five dollar bill, they’d ask me to buy something for them, and not pay me back. Finally once when I was buying something at the vending machine and someone asked, I decided to nicely say no, sorry I needed to save my money. She and her friends made a snide comment about me not being generous, and I was so hurt and confused. I got my spending money from babysitting and maybe a few dollars a week spending money from my parents. I didn’t understand why they expected me to just….give that away.I actually started to cry (unlike me) and it became a big thing where the counselors made us talk it out. The wealthy girls who had always gone to private just thought money was no big deal and you should just give it away whenever anyone asked.

At my public, no one expected you to give them money and not pay it back. My friends and I would go to seven eleven and it was this huge deal to decide what to buy with our couple dollars.

What I see from kids’ private school friends is that people really take turns in paying or buying stuff. If you never reciprocate, it’s really frowned upon. But kids give lots of gifts to each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'll bite. I grew up the exact same way. I am in my early 30s and own a nice home in Bethesda. Most, if not, all of my friends all own 1M + homes. Our conversations are so "first world problems" -- worrying about carried interest, tax rates, ways to save as much as possible, starting businesses, etc.

I was in private school from Preschool through college and pretty much hung out with similar people my whole life. It wasn't until I got in the working world (about a decade ago) when I realized how lucky I was. People were shocked I had no debt, have visited 30 + countries, had parents still take the whole family on vacation. I did my community service growing and my parents entrenched giving back. For a 16yr old kid, that only goes so deep. Ultimately, your "normal" is who you hang out with.

I was definitely nowhere near the wealthiest of my friend group so I always compared myself to them. We didn't have a large beach home, we must not be rich. We didn't belong to a country club, we must not be rich. We worked all summer, many didn't, etc.

I think the DC area is a ridiculously wealthy area (even more so than some parts of CT and Boston) and we often times forget that even what DCUM calls "middle class" is so far ahead of 95% of our country. My wife is from a very wealthy family but she grew up in a smaller city and had a bit more perspective since she went to public school. She was shocked when we first started dating and saw how expensive everyone's clothes were, how much I gifted to friends for their weddings or baby showers, how much money I made..it was a bit surprising.

Odds are you won't change your lifestyle, and that's fine, but I do think instilling the idea in your children that what you have is not normal will go a long way.

And yet, you conclude you were “lucky”? You don’t think there was any downside to that upbringing?

You may not know this since it’s your normal, but children of the upper class have higher levels of alcoholism, eating disorders, and anxiety than the National average. It’s not all “lucky.”

Wrong, so sorry. Higher income people are most likely to moderate their drinking whereas lower income people have the highest US population rates of heavy drinking.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3185179/#:~:text=Lower%20income%20was%20associated%20with,of%20heavy%20drinking%20in%20adulthood.

Higher income people also live longer, a lot longer, as a population. They have significantly more health years too. They are more likely to marry and stay married. They are more likely to report higher life satisfaction on the international happiness survey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'll bite. I grew up the exact same way. I am in my early 30s and own a nice home in Bethesda. Most, if not, all of my friends all own 1M + homes. Our conversations are so "first world problems" -- worrying about carried interest, tax rates, ways to save as much as possible, starting businesses, etc.

I was in private school from Preschool through college and pretty much hung out with similar people my whole life. It wasn't until I got in the working world (about a decade ago) when I realized how lucky I was. People were shocked I had no debt, have visited 30 + countries, had parents still take the whole family on vacation. I did my community service growing and my parents entrenched giving back. For a 16yr old kid, that only goes so deep. Ultimately, your "normal" is who you hang out with.

I was definitely nowhere near the wealthiest of my friend group so I always compared myself to them. We didn't have a large beach home, we must not be rich. We didn't belong to a country club, we must not be rich. We worked all summer, many didn't, etc.

I think the DC area is a ridiculously wealthy area (even more so than some parts of CT and Boston) and we often times forget that even what DCUM calls "middle class" is so far ahead of 95% of our country. My wife is from a very wealthy family but she grew up in a smaller city and had a bit more perspective since she went to public school. She was shocked when we first started dating and saw how expensive everyone's clothes were, how much I gifted to friends for their weddings or baby showers, how much money I made..it was a bit surprising.

Odds are you won't change your lifestyle, and that's fine, but I do think instilling the idea in your children that what you have is not normal will go a long way.

And yet, you conclude you were “lucky”? You don’t think there was any downside to that upbringing?

You may not know this since it’s your normal, but children of the upper class have higher levels of alcoholism, eating disorders, and anxiety than the National average. It’s not all “lucky.”

Wrong, so sorry. Higher income people are most likely to moderate their drinking whereas lower income people have the highest US population rates of heavy drinking.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3185179/#:~:text=Lower%20income%20was%20associated%20with,of%20heavy%20drinking%20in%20adulthood.

Higher income people also live longer, a lot longer, as a population. They have significantly more health years too. They are more likely to marry and stay married. They are more likely to report higher life satisfaction on the international happiness survey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are in your 30's. Your parents and teachers did you a big disservice by not teaching you about the real world. Why not start volunteering at a local food bank so that you can get a taste of reality.

I find that a lot of wealthy families DO have their kids do this kind of service and they do understand that some people are poor. What their kids tend not to grasp is how middle class kids'--the ones they go to college with, work with, are friends with--lives are very different than theirs. They tend to make all sorts of oblivious assumptions and are like bulls in the china shop when it comes to tact around what others are worried about, need to be frugal about, have to prioritize etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'll bite. I grew up the exact same way. I am in my early 30s and own a nice home in Bethesda. Most, if not, all of my friends all own 1M + homes. Our conversations are so "first world problems" -- worrying about carried interest, tax rates, ways to save as much as possible, starting businesses, etc.

I was in private school from Preschool through college and pretty much hung out with similar people my whole life. It wasn't until I got in the working world (about a decade ago) when I realized how lucky I was. People were shocked I had no debt, have visited 30 + countries, had parents still take the whole family on vacation. I did my community service growing and my parents entrenched giving back. For a 16yr old kid, that only goes so deep. Ultimately, your "normal" is who you hang out with.

I was definitely nowhere near the wealthiest of my friend group so I always compared myself to them. We didn't have a large beach home, we must not be rich. We didn't belong to a country club, we must not be rich. We worked all summer, many didn't, etc.

I think the DC area is a ridiculously wealthy area (even more so than some parts of CT and Boston) and we often times forget that even what DCUM calls "middle class" is so far ahead of 95% of our country. My wife is from a very wealthy family but she grew up in a smaller city and had a bit more perspective since she went to public school. She was shocked when we first started dating and saw how expensive everyone's clothes were, how much I gifted to friends for their weddings or baby showers, how much money I made..it was a bit surprising.

Odds are you won't change your lifestyle, and that's fine, but I do think instilling the idea in your children that what you have is not normal will go a long way.

And yet, you conclude you were “lucky”? You don’t think there was any downside to that upbringing?

You may not know this since it’s your normal, but children of the upper class have higher levels of alcoholism, eating disorders, and anxiety than the National average. It’s not all “lucky.”

Anonymous wrote:Op, I'll bite. I grew up the exact same way. I am in my early 30s and own a nice home in Bethesda. Most, if not, all of my friends all own 1M + homes. Our conversations are so "first world problems" -- worrying about carried interest, tax rates, ways to save as much as possible, starting businesses, etc.

I was in private school from Preschool through college and pretty much hung out with similar people my whole life. It wasn't until I got in the working world (about a decade ago) when I realized how lucky I was. People were shocked I had no debt, have visited 30 + countries, had parents still take the whole family on vacation. I did my community service growing and my parents entrenched giving back. For a 16yr old kid, that only goes so deep. Ultimately, your "normal" is who you hang out with.

I was definitely nowhere near the wealthiest of my friend group so I always compared myself to them. We didn't have a large beach home, we must not be rich. We didn't belong to a country club, we must not be rich. We worked all summer, many didn't, etc.

I think the DC area is a ridiculously wealthy area (even more so than some parts of CT and Boston) and we often times forget that even what DCUM calls "middle class" is so far ahead of 95% of our country. My wife is from a very wealthy family but she grew up in a smaller city and had a bit more perspective since she went to public school. She was shocked when we first started dating and saw how expensive everyone's clothes were, how much I gifted to friends for their weddings or baby showers, how much money I made..it was a bit surprising.

Odds are you won't change your lifestyle, and that's fine, but I do think instilling the idea in your children that what you have is not normal will go a long way.