Anonymous
Post 08/06/2022 01:21     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?


That would be incredibly rude of you to mention this to your friend. Should you wish to partake in something while your friend enjoys her meal then you might suggest an appetizer for the table or you can request bread from your waiter. If you find yourself too hungry you can excuse yourself to the restroom and request a glass of water and some nuts from the bar. You might consider eating a small snack in the afternoon as you should never allow your body to become so hungry that you cannot wait comfortably for 20 minutes.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2022 01:18     Subject: Re:Weigh in on a debate I’m having
I need clarification. I think some posters took it as she was getting an app in addition to her meal (I did too) in which case, I don’t get what you’re mad about. But yeah if that’s the only thing she’s ordering as her meal, then it’s totally weird if it comes out first
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2022 01:07     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?
How is she making you wait for your food?


Ordering an appetizer obviously delays the preparation of the entrees.

+1 How do people not know this?
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:53     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Why can’t you request your food to come with the appetizers OP?
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:51     Subject: Re:Weigh in on a debate I’m having
OP: I agree with you. The appetizer only lady is inconsiderate and rude. It might be better if you and your husband find a different activity to do with this couple.

Otherwise ask the server to bring all the food together at the same time.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:45     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
I would not ruin a friendship over something so petty.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:40     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Team husband
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:33     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?


Team OP and I don't get the hostility. It is the woman ordering an appetizer as a meal and not eating at the same time as others who is rude.

And, this is a couple you go out with frequently, therefore, a friend. I think you can privately ask the friend, when you are not at dinner, if there is a reason they do this. Then use the "When you _____ I feel _______" statement. "Francis, I am wondering why you ask for your food to come first, instead of eating with the rest of us. When you order your meal to come before the others at the table, I get hungry watching you eat, and then feel awkward having you watch the rest of us eat."
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:21     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
To the waiter: “bob, does it make more sense to bring them all together? Since it’s a dinner, didn’t want to clog things up in the kitchen”
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 23:19     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
So you expect your “friends” to eat cold meals because you’re sooooo hungry that you absolutely cannot stand watching someone else eat? Do you get a private room so you need not watch anyone else eat as well?
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 22:59     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 22:48     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.


See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.


Maybe she feels different and why should your feelings trump. Just let everyone do what they want and live and let live.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 22:29     Subject: Re:Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Meant to second a PP who asked why you don’t order one (or more) appetizers to share so you can stave off your hunger while your “friend” enjoys a proper start to her meal? You and your DH could share a soup or salad if you are so concerned about not eating too much. I really don’t understand being so hungry that you can’t wait 15 minutes for your entree, and I fortunately have never been out with people who don’t order appetizers for the table as a fun start to the meal. But it would solve your odd problem without being as rude to this poor woman as you clearly want to be.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 22:22     Subject: Re:Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Team appetizer woman. I hope she finds a better friend group, one that enjoys spending time together at restaurants instead of inhaling an entree and heading home.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 22:15     Subject: Weigh in on a debate I’m having
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?
How is she making you wait for your food?


Ordering an appetizer obviously delays the preparation of the entrees.
If OP wants her food to come out together with her friends' app then she should say "can you bring my entree out at the same time as Becky's appetizer". That's her own fault for not speaking up.


+1