My dad is in a Medicaid nursing home and hates it. It’s not a luxury place by any means, but I would describe it as adequate. He tells me every day that he would like to move back to my place and have a home caregiver. Unfortunately there is a 7 year waitlist for Medicaid home caregivers and he cannot afford one out of pocket. Would I want (or want my DH or kids) to stay where he’s staying? Absolutely not. But I’m not jeopardizing my own retirement planning to pay for something better. He squandered his 7 figure nest egg on women after he left my mom and quit working at 50. I need to have plenty of money so that if my spouse or I need expensive end-of-life care, we can afford it and not be a burden to our kids. I feel guilty sometimes but I have to think about my family and myself first.

I support my sister and will have to do so the rest of her life. If she wants to get food stamps that on her. She does have Obamacare and basically has free health insurance so I don’t have to pay for that. I think for health insurance is out my food down and tell her to go to the exchange. Her food expenses are such a small line item I don’t really think about it. However I’d inwere her I’d get food stamps and double dip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what wealthy immigrants I know do. They bring their parents over, put them on SSI, subsidized housing, state subsidized medical care, and later food stamps.
They themselves often live in mansions and have high income

This isn't happening as there is a hold back for benefits.

Yea, this is an absolute lie. Immigrants need to be sponsored, and sponsors are required to provide for whoever they bring over should they need government assistance. I know because I just co-sponsored my SIL's visa application because my daughter didn't have the income history to do it alone. I am legally obligated to support my SIL in the event that he needs government assistance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you yourself are wealthy, but your parents are destitute, would you help them apply for benefits so they don’t have to rely on your resources?

I would not help my parents in any way whatsoever.

DH and I have a net worth of $6M and a HHI of $525K. We’re in our mid-40s and have two children. My parents inherited 3 million dollars from my grandfather about 20 years ago. My parents immediately retired at the age of 51 and started taking luxury cruises, paying off their house, buying new cars (first fully loaded highlanders, then sports cars, then high end convertibles). Never once did they do anything to enrich the lives of their grandchildren or any of my siblings or cousins. They were constantly competing with DH and me as well as anyone in the extended family with notable accomplishments.

Fast forward to 2022, and they’re proud recipients of stimulus checks, constantly complaining about being on a fixed income, demanding that we pay for everything, and exhausting a reverse mortgage with little runway remaining. They made their bed. Time to sleep in it.

Oh give it a rest. You're worth $6 million in your mid 40s and make $525k a year. You didn't need your parents' help obviously. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but reminds me of a time I was in Target years ago, and the gentleman ahead of me reached into his wallet to pull out hit EBT card, but had to pass a seriously fat stack of hundreds to get it.

I have taken my moms EBT card to the store and bought groceries for her on numerous occasions when she didn't feel up to going out. Im sure I got lots of judgy looks because Im a well-off white lady w a nice purse and ring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently helping my mother do just that, and my net worth is $8 million. I also have several siblings with plenty of money. I have no problem with any of this. It's not a moral issue.

Actually it is, though perhaps not in the way you think.

What way are you thinking?

Whether wealthy children have a moral obligation to financially assist elderly parents in need.

Seems like a moral issue to me.

It is to you. Don't push your morals onto other people and don't judge others by ypur standards. It's bad manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently helping my mother do just that, and my net worth is $8 million. I also have several siblings with plenty of money. I have no problem with any of this. It's not a moral issue.

Actually it is, though perhaps not in the way you think.

What way are you thinking?

Whether wealthy children have a moral obligation to financially assist elderly parents in need.

Seems like a moral issue to me.

It's not an either/or proposition, moron. I am helping her myself AND helping her with Medicaid. It IS possible to do both.

If you are helping her then why does she need Medicaid? Is there a limit to your finances or you just greedy?

Nice try, troll.

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but reminds me of a time I was in Target years ago, and the gentleman ahead of me reached into his wallet to pull out hit EBT card, but had to pass a seriously fat stack of hundreds to get it.

My husband used to get paid in cash. That's all he ever had. Don't judge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but reminds me of a time I was in Target years ago, and the gentleman ahead of me reached into his wallet to pull out hit EBT card, but had to pass a seriously fat stack of hundreds to get it.

Could be rent money….
People on EBT card work so maybe cash the check

PP is so judgemental.

It depends on your definition of “wealthy”. We are not, we have less than $1m in assets (not including house which has significant equity), HHI btw $150-$200k/yr. Like many in the DC area we are educated white collar professionals in a nice suburban house and have 529s and 401ks and such. Someone like a babysitter or someone from another less-expensive COL area might think we were “rich” but we have nowhere near an unlimited amount of money.

Which is why one of my parents, who has a graduate degree and a lifetime of willing fiscal irresponsibility, is on public assistance. We helped them get an EBT card and into subsidized housing (which is not easy to get into as an aside for those who think immigrants just come here and get homes).

We already pay for a lot for things for this parent to begin with, and have done so for years. But we can’t completely support them. We just can’t afford it. And if we could, tbh, they don’t deserve it.

Anonymous wrote:This is what wealthy immigrants I know do. They bring their parents over, put them on SSI, subsidized housing, state subsidized medical care, and later food stamps.
They themselves often live in mansions and have high income

This isn't happening as there is a hold back for benefits.

This is what wealthy immigrants I know do. They bring their parents over, put them on SSI, subsidized housing, state subsidized medical care, and later food stamps.
They themselves often live in mansions and have high income

Some of you seem confused, the OP said "wealthy" not just "well off". If you wouldn't use your own wealthy money to help your destitute parents but would instead have them sign up for public assistance then you are a wealthy a**hole. There are plenty of those in the world though so I'm not surprised.

Anonymous wrote:If you yourself are wealthy, but your parents are destitute, would you help them apply for benefits so they don’t have to rely on your resources?

I would not help my parents in any way whatsoever.

DH and I have a net worth of $6M and a HHI of $525K. We’re in our mid-40s and have two children. My parents inherited 3 million dollars from my grandfather about 20 years ago. My parents immediately retired at the age of 51 and started taking luxury cruises, paying off their house, buying new cars (first fully loaded highlanders, then sports cars, then high end convertibles). Never once did they do anything to enrich the lives of their grandchildren or any of my siblings or cousins. They were constantly competing with DH and me as well as anyone in the extended family with notable accomplishments.

Fast forward to 2022, and they’re proud recipients of stimulus checks, constantly complaining about being on a fixed income, demanding that we pay for everything, and exhausting a reverse mortgage with little runway remaining. They made their bed. Time to sleep in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but reminds me of a time I was in Target years ago, and the gentleman ahead of me reached into his wallet to pull out hit EBT card, but had to pass a seriously fat stack of hundreds to get it.

Could be rent money….
People on EBT card work so maybe cash the check

Plus…
1. EBT doesn’t necessarily mean “welfare”. Unbanked people receiving SSI, for example, can get it.
2. He also could be shopping for someone else (a relative or neighbor) so he was paying with their card.

No. EBT is welfare. Full stop. Also, no. Don't excuse the probable with the possible. The near certainty was this person was working and being paid under the table while also dipping into a public transfer program.