Gosh people are so mean! Of course it’s stressful the first time around. Try not to come on DCUM too much in this time. With a little distance, once your kid gets in and is happy somewhere, this forum is actually humorous.

Apply now to a school with a rolling application that your DC Z will probably get into. Nice to have that in your back pocket.

Just because people say to apply to 9 (3 safety, 3 fit, 3 reach) doesn’t mean you have to apply to that many.

Say to yourself- they’re going to go somewhere and it’s all ok.

Read Frank Bruno’s book- Where you go is not who you are -or something like that.

Good luck, OP. Now don’t come back to DCUM for a while! 😊

Calm down OP. I have a rising senior and we don’t even have a list yet. He is not even finished with ACT/SAT testing.
You are already ahead of the curve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is only stressful if you are applying to top ten schools. Otherwise it does not really matter.

The fundamental problem is that a lot of parents here think they’re so brilliant, and go on and on about majoring in CS at a T30 school, but are actually dumb as rocks. They’ve never taken high school precalculus, let alone a physics class for majors at a top school. So, they have no idea whatsoever how U.S. higher education works.

Then they use their massive idiocy to shoehorn their poor, stupid, disorganized kids into selective schools, like pine sticks into a wood chipper.

+100 This is true.

You're not even at the stage where you kid is receiving acceptances and rejections. Save the stress for that.

You mentioned me or I several times in your post. Why not let them drive the process and find a school that they will be happy and healthy at. They will be fine there. All this reach and trying to keep up with everyone else is causing the stress.

Anonymous wrote:Rising senior parent here. So far this process has been so stressful. From forms to essays to college lists to college visits, let alone trying to determine the “real” price and direct vs indirect admits into major … I’m so ready for this to be over. Does it get better once apps are submitted? The college list has been particularly challenging. Every time we add one or take one off, it seems the next day there’s a reason to reverse the decision. At this point, none of them look like sure bets that child would want to attend. Luckily we’re pretty flexible so I’m sure child will be happy with whatever works out but so far it hasn’t been fun, at all!

Your experience is very foreign to me. I've been through it twice and neither time was it particularly stressful. Obviously there are uncertainties but the stress you describe seems unusual and can't in any way be good for your child, who presumably is bearing the brunt of the workload.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is only stressful if you are applying to top ten schools. Otherwise it does not really matter.

The fundamental problem is that a lot of parents here think they’re so brilliant, and go on and on about majoring in CS at a T30 school, but are actually dumb as rocks. They’ve never taken high school precalculus, let alone a physics class for majors at a top school. So, they have no idea whatsoever how U.S. higher education works.

Then they use their massive idiocy to shoehorn their poor, stupid, disorganized kids into selective schools, like pine sticks into a wood chipper.

Please tell me you're not an educator or in any other helping profession. Or have any contact with anyone under the age of 30, for that matter. Good grief!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your problem is that you have inserted a whole lot of "we" into the process. It shouldn't be "we," it should be your kid. Your job is to tell your kid how much you are willing to and can pay. That's it.

No, that's not "it". You give you kid loads of advice and direction about many things, why should this one decision - the most impactful and expensive they will make for some time in their lives - be an exception? It should not, and it is not for most normal families.

You people that jump all over the use of "we" - I just don't get it. "We decided to eat dinner at Outback Steak House" is fine but "We decided to spend $300,000 on CMU" is not?

Ridiculous.

+1 hear hear!!

Anonymous wrote:It is only stressful if you are applying to top ten schools. Otherwise it does not really matter.

The fundamental problem is that a lot of parents here think they’re so brilliant, and go on and on about majoring in CS at a T30 school, but are actually dumb as rocks. They’ve never taken high school precalculus, let alone a physics class for majors at a top school. So, they have no idea whatsoever how U.S. higher education works.

Then they use their massive idiocy to shoehorn their poor, stupid, disorganized kids into selective schools, like pine sticks into a wood chipper.

Anonymous wrote:You are making it stressful.

Amen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how about consider it a fluid process? Applications "open" in August for rolling admission schools. Throw-in a few apps. Hear by Oct. One way to think of "safeties" is hearing early, rolling or ea. A choice of safeties, at least until they are visited.

This is what we did with DC1. They applied in early October to Penn State and heard by the end of October. It was nice to have one in the bag and be able to concentrate on higher rated applications. As a result, they only applied to four schools.

Same. Having a safety that they would be happy to attend in the bag early made a huge difference in DC’s stress level (and mine).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your problem is that you have inserted a whole lot of "we" into the process. It shouldn't be "we," it should be your kid. Your job is to tell your kid how much you are willing to and can pay. That's it.

No, that's not "it". You give you kid loads of advice and direction about many things, why should this one decision - the most impactful and expensive they will make for some time in their lives - be an exception? It should not, and it is not for most normal families.

You people that jump all over the use of "we" - I just don't get it. "We decided to eat dinner at Outback Steak House" is fine but "We decided to spend $300,000 on CMU" is not?

Ridiculous.

+1

The people who say their kids can do it all alone must be full pay. We are in real life over here and working side by side with our minor child to make this enormous decision that we are paying 100s of thousands for...

It's fine as a PP said.

Yes, us too. Had to assist with choices and feedback to try to get into a school where DD would qualify for need aid or max merit aid.

About 70 colleges & universites admit less than 30% of all applicants each year.

Anonymous wrote:It is only stressful if you are applying to top ten schools. Otherwise it does not really matter.

Probably more like if you are applying to top 40 schools. Maybe more. Any school which admits less than 30% of all applicants should be included in the stress inducing category in my opinion.

How many colleges and universities have an admit rate of 30% or less ?

It is only stressful if you are applying to top ten schools. Otherwise it does not really matter.