I recently heard an episode on my favorite fertility podcast about unused embryos: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-fat-negative-ttc-fertility-infertility-and-ivf/id1431698726?i=1000579990978

I just wanted to echo the prior poster who said that families might well be interested in adopting untested embryos. I’m part of a Facebook group where embryo donors and recipients can meet each other, and there is plenty of interest in untested embryos, especially if you’ve got a number of them to donate. (The group is called LGBTQ+ Inclusive Embryo Donation Matching Support.)

Anonymous wrote:So your kids would get pregnant with their sibling?

I'm not the PP, but I understand. My husband has a genetic disorder that, so far, has not affected our two IVF kids. But, we don't know what the medical future holds. If one of our kids ended up with the same disorder, maybe one day the embryo could help. We also store their cord blood for the same reason.

Who know where bio/med/tech will be in 20 years.

OP, I was in a similar situation. Kids 3 and 7. 2 PGS normals still frozen. We are mid 40s and both of my pregnancies were difficult. My heart wanted another child but my head and DH said no. After a year of really wrestling with it, we signed the paperwork to have the embryos discarded last spring. I cried that day. The next day Dobbs leaked and I (unexpectedly to me) felt huge relief. It’s now been about 6 months and though there will always be sadness about so many things in life that might have been, this has softened and I’m at ease with the choice. Good luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, you should not have done this in the first place.

Please make better use of your time than practicing your knife twisting skills on this forum.

Ha. Yes.

In terms of the embryos, I would be sad for one more day or whatever it takes and move on. Once I turned 40 I knew we were done (earlier I might have wanted 3 but life was busy with twins). Once we filled out the paper work to donate (to research) no looking back. There are too many blessings with two healthy kids .. you don't have to punish yourself wondering about three.

“No turning back”. Really? We also donated to research but the clinic had no research projects approved since then. We were able to turn in a new form to ask that they be destroyed. I imagine if we had wanted to use them we might also be able to get them back but that’s obviously less clear. Also I worry that IRBs will be extra cautious now post roe so research projects may slow depending on the political bent of the state

I had tested frozen embryos where I knew the gender and had no qualms about destroying them.

They are not babies. If you believe they are babies I guess you support recent developments on Roe v Wade.

I think this angst is about wanting or not wanting another kid. I knew with absolute certainty I didn't want another child and so didn't give it one more second of thought.

It's a cluster of cells you created with a lot of hard work and not some "meant to be" scenario. Just try to keep a clear head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, you should not have done this in the first place.

Please make better use of your time than practicing your knife twisting skills on this forum.

Ha. Yes.

In terms of the embryos, I would be sad for one more day or whatever it takes and move on. Once I turned 40 I knew we were done (earlier I might have wanted 3 but life was busy with twins). Once we filled out the paper work to donate (to research) no looking back. There are too many blessings with two healthy kids .. you don't have to punish yourself wondering about three.

I feel the opposite. I was done and we had some frozen. We filed the paperwork to have them destroyed shortly after roe fell. It was in a red state where we no longer live. I feel only relief that it’s now sorted.

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, you should not have done this in the first place.

Please make better use of your time than practicing your knife twisting skills on this forum.