Anonymous
07/28/2022 11:41
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Make peace with being mommy tracked. My kids are young teens, and it is harder to balance work and family now than at any time since they were babies. There are so many afterschool sports, activities, and demands. They need me around even if they don't want me around. My flexibility is the only thing that makes everything work.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 11:24
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Its not that much money if you have college debt or mortgage or sending kids to private school/college.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 11:22
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Its a balance, you've got it all. Your husband and children are lucky to have you. Nobody at deathbed resent missing out on $50k extra or next grade promotion but almost everyone resents not spending enough time with their loved ones.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 10:22
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.
Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?
So you have an HHI of $500,000-,$600-000. You carry the health insurance and penDonsion but your DH who makes half a million a year has no health insurance or pension? This makes no sense unless he selling drugs.
You have no credibility.
Op here - what does that even mean? I have no credibility? I work and carry our families health insurance. I have a pension through my job. DH is a law firm partner. We do not get health insurance through his job.
NP but with that much money you could afford to buy it or just pay cash. That’s a ton of money.
It’s a high income but it’s not that much money. Taxes takes half. Mortgage — I’m sure that’s a lot — plus unless they have all kids in public school, full pay private could easily be $120k+ a year. Two jobs means nanny, daycare, house cleaning, possibly yard stuff.
OP — only you know what you’ll regret. I like having flexibility to see kids after school and generally be around. Being the family bus is not super rewarding, so I suggest you don’t take that role unless you love it. Do put yourself in the equation because you’re the only one who will be resentful or feel like you missed out if you don’t. What is working for me personally is to get into a position that’s senior enough to show I am serious, then lay back a bit until all kids are in elementary. After that I plan to move up and keep going because when kids are out of the house I definitely don’t want to be picking a hobby out of a bag to amuse myself.
It is absolutely “that much money”.
People must just come through these posts to make those idiotic comments just to get a reaction. Which I am currently providing. So, you’re welcome.
+1
I had the same thought. It’s not ‘that much money’ because we send the kids to private schools, have a full time housekeeper and nanny, take two international trips a year, have a 10K a month mortgage, etc. Posters like this either don’t live in the real world or are trolls. If it’s the latter, I hope they interact with people besides law partners and lobbyists in DC.
Op here - while I completely understand we make "a lot of money" we do not send our kids to private school, do not have a full time housekeeper or nanny, do not take two international trips a year and our mortgage is only $3500 a month. Most of our money is going to pay student loans and daycare. Just FWIW.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 10:19
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Kids now in middle school. I mommy-tracked and went part-time when the oldest was a year old.
On the one hand, I do wish I had an executive role and made double or triple what I currently make the way most of my friends and colleagues now do. Friends and colleagues have larger homes and take nicer vacations, although we are certainly well-off by the standards of most of the U.S. so I am still grateful for our lives, but of course having parity in income would be nice. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade for anything all the extra hours I've had with my kids. Some of our best conversations have been in the car shuttling to/from activities or walking to and from school, I would have missed those if a nanny was doing it instead.
On the one hand, I do wish I had an executive role and made double or triple what I currently make the way most of my friends and colleagues now do. Friends and colleagues have larger homes and take nicer vacations, although we are certainly well-off by the standards of most of the U.S. so I am still grateful for our lives, but of course having parity in income would be nice. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade for anything all the extra hours I've had with my kids. Some of our best conversations have been in the car shuttling to/from activities or walking to and from school, I would have missed those if a nanny was doing it instead.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 10:06
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.
Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?
So you have an HHI of $500,000-,$600-000. You carry the health insurance and penDonsion but your DH who makes half a million a year has no health insurance or pension? This makes no sense unless he selling drugs.
You have no credibility.
Op here - what does that even mean? I have no credibility? I work and carry our families health insurance. I have a pension through my job. DH is a law firm partner. We do not get health insurance through his job.
NP but with that much money you could afford to buy it or just pay cash. That’s a ton of money.
It’s a high income but it’s not that much money. Taxes takes half. Mortgage — I’m sure that’s a lot — plus unless they have all kids in public school, full pay private could easily be $120k+ a year. Two jobs means nanny, daycare, house cleaning, possibly yard stuff.
OP — only you know what you’ll regret. I like having flexibility to see kids after school and generally be around. Being the family bus is not super rewarding, so I suggest you don’t take that role unless you love it. Do put yourself in the equation because you’re the only one who will be resentful or feel like you missed out if you don’t. What is working for me personally is to get into a position that’s senior enough to show I am serious, then lay back a bit until all kids are in elementary. After that I plan to move up and keep going because when kids are out of the house I definitely don’t want to be picking a hobby out of a bag to amuse myself.
It is absolutely “that much money”.
People must just come through these posts to make those idiotic comments just to get a reaction. Which I am currently providing. So, you’re welcome.
+1
I had the same thought. It’s not ‘that much money’ because we send the kids to private schools, have a full time housekeeper and nanny, take two international trips a year, have a 10K a month mortgage, etc. Posters like this either don’t live in the real world or are trolls. If it’s the latter, I hope they interact with people besides law partners and lobbyists in DC.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 09:54
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:OP I posted a similar question a couple weeks ago in the parenting forum. Let me see if I can go back and link it. I got a lot of responses.
That would be great. Also interested in what decision you made and how you feel about that decision made two years ago.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 09:48
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.
Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?
So you have an HHI of $500,000-,$600-000. You carry the health insurance and penDonsion but your DH who makes half a million a year has no health insurance or pension? This makes no sense unless he selling drugs.
You have no credibility.
Op here - what does that even mean? I have no credibility? I work and carry our families health insurance. I have a pension through my job. DH is a law firm partner. We do not get health insurance through his job.
NP but with that much money you could afford to buy it or just pay cash. That’s a ton of money.
It’s a high income but it’s not that much money. Taxes takes half. Mortgage — I’m sure that’s a lot — plus unless they have all kids in public school, full pay private could easily be $120k+ a year. Two jobs means nanny, daycare, house cleaning, possibly yard stuff.
OP — only you know what you’ll regret. I like having flexibility to see kids after school and generally be around. Being the family bus is not super rewarding, so I suggest you don’t take that role unless you love it. Do put yourself in the equation because you’re the only one who will be resentful or feel like you missed out if you don’t. What is working for me personally is to get into a position that’s senior enough to show I am serious, then lay back a bit until all kids are in elementary. After that I plan to move up and keep going because when kids are out of the house I definitely don’t want to be picking a hobby out of a bag to amuse myself.
It is absolutely “that much money”.
People must just come through these posts to make those idiotic comments just to get a reaction. Which I am currently providing. So, you’re welcome.
I know, they act like people make $100k aren’t paying taxes or something. I know taxes are progressive buts it no like you portray
Anonymous
07/28/2022 09:44
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
OP I posted a similar question a couple weeks ago in the parenting forum. Let me see if I can go back and link it. I got a lot of responses.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 07:49
Subject: If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I applied (and didn't get but got far in the process) for a director level job. I thought I was ready to ramp up my career after 12 years in the same place. However we have 3 kids (2, 5 and 7) and my DH works a very inflexible 60-80 hour job. My job is super flexible, I work from home 4 days a week and can pretty much get away with doing my job 6 hours a day. I make $100,000 and carry our health insurance and have a pension. DH makes around $400-500,000 depending on the year, with a much larger earning potential.
Will I regret not taking the bigger career later on? Or does it make more sense to have a mommy-track job so I can shuttle kids around and get to practices, parent teacher conferences, etc as they get older?
So you have an HHI of $500,000-,$600-000. You carry the health insurance and penDonsion but your DH who makes half a million a year has no health insurance or pension? This makes no sense unless he selling drugs.
You have no credibility.
Op here - what does that even mean? I have no credibility? I work and carry our families health insurance. I have a pension through my job. DH is a law firm partner. We do not get health insurance through his job.
NP but with that much money you could afford to buy it or just pay cash. That’s a ton of money.
It’s a high income but it’s not that much money. Taxes takes half. Mortgage — I’m sure that’s a lot — plus unless they have all kids in public school, full pay private could easily be $120k+ a year. Two jobs means nanny, daycare, house cleaning, possibly yard stuff.
OP — only you know what you’ll regret. I like having flexibility to see kids after school and generally be around. Being the family bus is not super rewarding, so I suggest you don’t take that role unless you love it. Do put yourself in the equation because you’re the only one who will be resentful or feel like you missed out if you don’t. What is working for me personally is to get into a position that’s senior enough to show I am serious, then lay back a bit until all kids are in elementary. After that I plan to move up and keep going because when kids are out of the house I definitely don’t want to be picking a hobby out of a bag to amuse myself.
It is absolutely “that much money”.
People must just come through these posts to make those idiotic comments just to get a reaction. Which I am currently providing. So, you’re welcome.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 07:41
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
When I first had kids I started to work part-time at the Federal job I already was working. It was a job that was going no where but they allowed this gift of flexibility. It allowed me to keep my resume current and when I applied to another agency they didn’t even notice that I’d been part-time all those years, even though it explicitly lists number of hours on a Federal resume. I do t regret it. I was able a tiny bit behind, but it didn’t hamper my career.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 06:24
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We are same. I have taken my career progression slowly after kids (5 and 2). Make $200 which is 1/4 of DH but I carry the health insurance as he is self-employed
WTF $800k DH income, are you both lawyers?
Yes
Anonymous
07/28/2022 05:58
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:We are same. I have taken my career progression slowly after kids (5 and 2). Make $200 which is 1/4 of DH but I carry the health insurance as he is self-employed
WTF $800k DH income, are you both lawyers?
Anonymous
07/28/2022 03:12
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
Anonymous wrote:You aren’t underpaid - you are being paid in flexibility. My 3 are in high school now - I spend a ton of time with them bc I took the lower paying, flexible job. I’m glad every single day.
yup! I have two Ivy League degrees and I earn about 70k on seemingly full time job that I can do working effectively 5-10 hours per week. I, too, have 3 kids, they are slightly older than yours and I they need a lot of attention. It's a different kind from when they were little but no less necessary. There is no way I would take a more demanding job right now - I was offered 160k last year and I had to decline. You just can't have it all and I prefer to be there for the kids. I use some of the free time to write and it takes some of the edge off.
Anonymous
07/28/2022 02:54
Subject: Re:If you mommy tracked - are you glad later on when kids are older?
You aren’t underpaid - you are being paid in flexibility. My 3 are in high school now - I spend a ton of time with them bc I took the lower paying, flexible job. I’m glad every single day.