Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone in this situation is ridiculous. Honestly, if there is a family beach home and a second home is rented next door that is much larger, I can 100% see family assuming that the larger house is the “hang out” house and the smaller house is the “just go sleep there house.” In a family full of normal people, this could totally work fine.

But people thinking they can demand others cook for them, feed their kids, etc are crazy. If your husband thinks this is cool, I would put every demand back on him. “Your sister would like French toast with bacon and homeade apricot jam. I’m headed for a run, dear.” See if your husband will deal with this nonsense.

Yes, the host house thing makes sense, as they consider it an extension of the house they own. The demanding you cook part is weird, and you simply don't do it, or make your husband do it. THis is the one thing your husband asks for so you will have to figure out how to make this work.

I also get the impression that you think you are better than them because you get up early and exercise. There is an overtone of self-righteousness regarding this that oozes from your post. And it is odd that you specified what kind of sandwiches they poached. Like, we would be on your side because they where Hawaiian rolls and ham, but turkey on wheat would be ok for them to take? Have you been drinking?

Sounds like you are a lazy non exerciser who probably eats too much.

Anonymous wrote:“What makes you think I’m in charge of making you lunch?”
“What makes you think it’s ok to host an event at our beach rental without asking? And then without preparing anything?”
“What makes you think I want to make tacos? What makes you think you get to decide what’s for dinner without checking with the rest of us?”
Etc. Your husband doesn’t seem to care they treat your house like their house.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like inlaws have assumed that you and your dh have assumed the role of the previous grandparents with the large house who (I assume) did everything they are now asking of you.

Does your dh secretly want to take over from the grandparents with a larger house and be the "big man" who treats everyone and you have to help him? Because that's what it sounds like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“What makes you think I’m in charge of making you lunch?”
“What makes you think it’s ok to host an event at our beach rental without asking? And then without preparing anything?”
“What makes you think I want to make tacos? What makes you think you get to decide what’s for dinner without checking with the rest of us?”
Etc. Your husband doesn’t seem to care they treat your house like their house.

or that they treat op like their maid. Why has almost every response here ignored that?

Anonymous wrote:“What makes you think I’m in charge of making you lunch?”
“What makes you think it’s ok to host an event at our beach rental without asking? And then without preparing anything?”
“What makes you think I want to make tacos? What makes you think you get to decide what’s for dinner without checking with the rest of us?”
Etc. Your husband doesn’t seem to care they treat your house like their house.

Anonymous wrote:There must be some precedent for this behavior. No one just walks into your house and demands you cook elaborate meals for them unless they are mentally ill. Has your DH always been a doormat in his family? Something is going on that you are not telling us. Did your DH tell his family to please treat the house as theirs and bring guests over whenever they want?

Anonymous wrote:Truthfully you all sound odd.

Anonymous wrote:Nobody cares what kind of ham was involved OP. You have lost your mind. If you're not having fun stop vacationing with these people. Stop telling them where you live, stop leaving your door unlocked, stop inviting them over, stop giving them the code to get into your house.

You feel like they're crossing boundaries. So set some freaking boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they are close/no-boundaries people and you want boundaries. I don't think anyone is inherently wrong, but certainly one of you is going to end up unhappy here.

What does your husband think?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone in this situation is ridiculous. Honestly, if there is a family beach home and a second home is rented next door that is much larger, I can 100% see family assuming that the larger house is the “hang out” house and the smaller house is the “just go sleep there house.” In a family full of normal people, this could totally work fine.

But people thinking they can demand others cook for them, feed their kids, etc are crazy. If your husband thinks this is cool, I would put every demand back on him. “Your sister would like French toast with bacon and homeade apricot jam. I’m headed for a run, dear.” See if your husband will deal with this nonsense.

Yes, the host house thing makes sense, as they consider it an extension of the house they own. The demanding you cook part is weird, and you simply don't do it, or make your husband do it. THis is the one thing your husband asks for so you will have to figure out how to make this work.

I also get the impression that you think you are better than them because you get up early and exercise. There is an overtone of self-righteousness regarding this that oozes from your post. And it is odd that you specified what kind of sandwiches they poached. Like, we would be on your side because they where Hawaiian rolls and ham, but turkey on wheat would be ok for them to take? Have you been drinking?

Anonymous wrote:You all need to have a master meal plan for this week. Ad hoc totally isn't cutting it. Been there. Drop off catering for dinner (same meal same place for everyone), defined responsibility day by day for lunch and breakfast strictly on your own with your nuclear family worked for us. As for the guests, they should get drinks only!