Anonymous wrote:OP I’m sorry you are going through this. Miscarriages are awful. And keeping trying discouraging also. But you are 38 with two children and 3 miscarriages.
In your situation I would be afraid to keep trying because of unknown or later subtle / not diagnosable with tests right now problems. My babies after 4 miscarriages are a miracle but they are not normal. Genetics.

This was part of our thinking when we stopped trying for another after five miscarriages in a row. I was 38, but with terrible egg quality and could not shake the thought that if we could get an embryo to stick, who’s to say it still wouldn’t have genetic issues that became apparent long after the baby was already here. Our first and only is just perfect, and as time went on it just felt more like a losing gamble. Not to say that a child has to be perfect, but sometimes those nagging feelings help get you out of a cycle of inertia.

I'm in a very similar situation, OP, and I'm sorry for your losses.

I agree that you should have basic bloodwork done. I have Grave's disease and my thyroid was surgically removed. I know that as soon as I see the positive pregnancy test, I need to increase my dose of Synthroid because pregnant women manufacture more thyroid hormone and I cannot make my own.

Best of luck.

OP I’m sorry you are going through this. Miscarriages are awful. And keeping trying discouraging also. But you are 38 with two children and 3 miscarriages.
In your situation I would be afraid to keep trying because of unknown or later subtle / not diagnosable with tests right now problems. My babies after 4 miscarriages are a miracle but they are not normal. Genetics.

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the trolls. You're allowed to try to have as many children as you want.

It could be bad luck crossed by age but it is time to get worked up. I would suggest finding the clinic where you would do IVF and start there.

Could be autoimmune

NP.

Don’t call people with opinions “trolls.” It is not what “troll” means.

OP: sorry for your losses and rough journey. Hope you find peace with whichever decision you come to.

Lovenox. and also possibly progesterone support. sorry for your losses. Baby dust to you!

Anonymous wrote:Hi all, wanted to update in case anyone ever comes to this thread looking for answers.

I did a full RPL workout and found that I was a mild positive for APS. I chose to do IVF. 27 eggs retrieved, 20 mature, 14 5 day blasts, 5 genetically normal.

We implanted one embryo and decided to stick with metformin the whole time and add daily lovenox. Also continued with baby aspirin.

I’ve made it to 18 weeks (prior to this, longest pregnancy had been 13 weeks during this ttc run). I still live on pins and needles that this pregnancy will end at any moment, but here I am.

So thank you to those you brought up APS and lovenox, it was very helpful. And thanks to everyone for their support.

This is great news OP! Curious if you would just have tried adding lovonex and Metformin and getting pregnant naturally again or IUI vs. IVF since it doesn't seem like you had much issues getting pregnant? Or was there a reason you went to IVF?

Anonymous wrote:This is a sad experience and I hope you are ok.
Why can you not be happy with your two children?
Or, adopt a third? It seems that people go on these wild, expensive and painful journeys but what if we stepped back and had a mindful approach to accept what family and love and children we already have? Why the marathon to “complete the family”? Doesn’t this negate the current family you already have? One can never enjoy the current moment if one is always longing for the next child. This goes for everything in life I suppose.

No this doesn’t negate the family she has. Stop trolling OP. You may be jealous of the fact that she has two seemingly healthy children and wants a third, but that’s her decision and not yours.

I have two and am pregnant with my third after a mc so can only somewhat relate, but I understand wanting a third and why shouldn’t OP have that opportunity. If I were in OP’s shoes I would not invest significant resources in having a third but no one should feel entitled to tell someone else what you did in your post. It’s very dismissive and mean, and the OP is clearly in pain.

Anonymous wrote:This is a sad experience and I hope you are ok.
Why can you not be happy with your two children?
Or, adopt a third? It seems that people go on these wild, expensive and painful journeys but what if we stepped back and had a mindful approach to accept what family and love and children we already have? Why the marathon to “complete the family”? Doesn’t this negate the current family you already have? One can never enjoy the current moment if one is always longing for the next child. This goes for everything in life I suppose.

Op here
So we actually have been foster parents for over a decade and have successfully reunited many children with their bio families. We have one now who came to us at 15 and does not want to be adopted but has no bio family available. It’s a different relationship than parent/child. More like mentor/mentee? Honestly taking care of so many children who weren’t mine over the years, I think really helped my choice to have a third biologically. Most of the kids in the system who need homes do not want a mother/father or already have an established mother/father even if their parents can’t parent them.

Infant adoption is different. I’ve never had the opportunity to adopt an infant so I’m making assumptions. Since I was blessed with 2 bio children - I always felt like I should step aside and let others have those opportunities for infant adoption. The reality is those opportunities are infrequent as is.

So anyway, thats why we didn’t adopt.

Hi all, wanted to update in case anyone ever comes to this thread looking for answers.

I did a full RPL workout and found that I was a mild positive for APS. I chose to do IVF. 27 eggs retrieved, 20 mature, 14 5 day blasts, 5 genetically normal.

We implanted one embryo and decided to stick with metformin the whole time and add daily lovenox. Also continued with baby aspirin.

I’ve made it to 18 weeks (prior to this, longest pregnancy had been 13 weeks during this ttc run). I still live on pins and needles that this pregnancy will end at any moment, but here I am.

So thank you to those you brought up APS and lovenox, it was very helpful. And thanks to everyone for their support.

forget the testing and IVF. you keep getting pregnant so you don't need IVF. no amount of testing can cover all issues. just keep having sex and if it happens, happens. if it doesn't, you were out of good eggs and it was not supposed to.

Anonymous wrote:This is a sad experience and I hope you are ok.
Why can you not be happy with your two children?
Or, adopt a third? It seems that people go on these wild, expensive and painful journeys but what if we stepped back and had a mindful approach to accept what family and love and children we already have? Why the marathon to “complete the family”? Doesn’t this negate the current family you already have? One can never enjoy the current moment if one is always longing for the next child. This goes for everything in life I suppose.

You know adoption is often a MORE wild, expensive, and painful journey than fertility treatment?

This is a sad experience and I hope you are ok.
Why can you not be happy with your two children?
Or, adopt a third? It seems that people go on these wild, expensive and painful journeys but what if we stepped back and had a mindful approach to accept what family and love and children we already have? Why the marathon to “complete the family”? Doesn’t this negate the current family you already have? One can never enjoy the current moment if one is always longing for the next child. This goes for everything in life I suppose.

Given your age (I was also older), if you want to have a third child and money is not an issue, I would recommend the following:

1) test your AMH and other levels to see your ovarian reserve;
2) given that you are able to get pregnant, go through IVF and have the embryos screened for genetic issues prior to transfer; freeze as many embryos as possible. Embryos survive and thaw better than just freezing eggs; By freezing the embryos, it essentially provides you additional opportunities for a baby should you continue to experience miscarriages. Your eggs are the age that you froze them at, so they would be genetically better than if you were to try a year or two later. Also, doing a transfer of a frozen embryo (vs. fresh transfer) allows your body time to recover which may make the embryo more likely to implant and grow.
3) it takes the pressure off of you get pregnant by a certain timeline, and doctors can investigate potential issues should you continue to experience miscarriages;

Having 1 or 2 miscarriages can be random events; multiple miscarriages suggest a problem that needs to be fixed. It can take a while to figure it out.

Sending you lots of love...I have been there. It was a dark place and So. Much. Pain.

Whatever you choose will be fine - you will have an amazing life with your two children or you will have any an amazing life with your two children and a new baby.

This is a painful process, especially when trying at an older age. Being able to get pregnant is a good sign - it is just figuring out how sustain the pregnancy. You will likely be able to have a 3rd baby, it just depends on how much heartache you are able to endure.

I had multiple miscarriages and ended up being diagnosed with antiphospholipid syndrome. I took baby aspirin and lovenox for my entire pregnancy. I was able to have a health, full term baby after 4 years of trying (at 43 using IVF). A full health workup may help them pinpoint what is wrong.