I think the average is probably higher than these responses. DCUM promotes being low maintenance and easygoing.

I think whatever your number is is fine if that’s the norm in your family and friend group, only time it’s a problem is when that’s out of whack.

Not super important to me. Maybe a 3? DH even lower. DD just turned 10 and while she obviously enjoys presents she's like "I don't feel any different than yesterday".

I think I am a five. I don't expect my friends to do anything for me, but I do expect my DH to do something, like take care of dinner (whether that's going out or eating in), letting me sleep in, and giving me a little kid-free time. A gift is symbolic for me -- it doesn't need to be much, but a little effort. I take care of Easter baskets, Christmas gift shopping, our kids birthdays, and little goodies for the kids for Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, etc. Oh, and of course, all of ours kids friends' birthdays and also my & DH's parents/ sibling/ niece/ nephew birthdays and their mother's day/ father's day gifts... on my birthday, I want to be taken care of a little. (PS, reading this back makes me sound bitter... lol... I'm not, I just want an iced coffee and some peace and quiet on my birthday!) Thankfully, my husband delivers!

Anonymous wrote:I'm maybe a 4? I don't expect anything from friends or extended family, but I do want/expect my nuclear family to celebrate with me. I don't need gifts but I like homemade cards from my kids and I want to go out for dinner.

Same. Plus I want a Margarita.

I think people who hate birthdays because they hate getting older are just as odd as the people who have a birthday month or birthday week.

5? It's my birthday today so I made dinner reservations for DH and me in advance. DH bought me caviar and sent flowers (he is out of town).

Got a few texts from some family members and long-time friends, but don't expect anyone else to remember.

Thankful for another year around the sun given this has been a difficult couple years for me.

I'm maybe a 4? I don't expect anything from friends or extended family, but I do want/expect my nuclear family to celebrate with me. I don't need gifts but I like homemade cards from my kids and I want to go out for dinner.

Not at all. I have a hard time with the excessive celebration of non-milestone birthdays or grown adults. I go along with it but whyyy

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like my birthday. I feel forced by family to celebrate.

Twinsies.

Honestly, I like keeping my personal stuff private. I don't have my Bday listed on social media; I don't make any posts about "I'm eating cake today!" or "DH gave me the best gift ever!" However, I do like my DH and DCs to acknowledge the day with a card or verbal greeting. My BFF always texts me because she & I have known each other since we were like 4 years old. (And I text her something corny on her own bday, which is a week later!)

And I acknowledge it myself with appreciation that I made it around the sun one more time. I have sadly lost many friends from my youth (many in their teens, 20s, and 30s - for reasons like drunk driver, cancer, heart attack, substance abuse, freak accident). I don't know what my future holds, but every day I'm on this earth is a good one for me. A couple of years ago, when I turned 50, I splurged on a bunch of silly and fun stuff that made ME happy.

So my public expectation / ranking is about a 1. my personal / emotional ranking is more like an 8+. Like I said, I've gone to way too many funerals. If you haven't had to do this, then consider yourself lucky.

Anonymous wrote:Serious question but what’s the significance of birthdays once you are out of child phase? Obviously I have never cared for mine. Just another day to me.

You could say this about literally any day. What's the point of Christmas traditions (that aren't religious, if you are religious)? What's the point of celebrating an anniversary? Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and Father's Day can' obviously be called pointless. Same with Fourth of July. You could also say the same for other traditions, like a nice Sunday dinner or a wedding celebration above and beyond a trip to city hall.

It's just human to want to mark events and celebrate others and carry on traditions.

Probably a 6.

It is just a nice tradition for everybody to keep up to have your birthday celebrated. Traditions help keep life meaningful.

I expect a happy birthday from my husband and my parents. I expect my husband to do some token thing, like make me the waffles I like.

Anything I get from the kids or friends isn't expected but it sure is a nice bonus. I love that the kids make a big deal out of it. It's really cute.

Pretty important- maybe a 6 or a 7? I don't expect strangers, coworkers or even friends to acknowledge. But I expect my dh to plan activities for the weekend, special dinner on my birthday night, dessert, donuts on birthday morning. I expect my kids to acknowlege it (they're little- so no gifts). I'm not into gifts at all (and dh is BAD at gifts, so I would rather have nothing). My parents usually give me a nice gift that's thoughtful and something I love (my mom knows my taste).

To me, birthdays are a much bigger deal than Christmas and you get more presents. My son's birthday is this weekend. I decorated the house with a banner, set the dining room up for his special birthday dinner, hung paper lanterns inside near the banner and put the wrapped gifts on display. He gets donuts on his birthday morning and a special dinner he chooses. Then there's a party with friends and extended family and sometimes another activity with our family too (we're going to the zoo).

Somethign I think is weird about dh's family is that they don't acknowledge birthdays very much. Maybe a card? But on Christmas they spend about $400 on each of us. It's over the top and I wish the two were a bit more balanced.

Very important, but not as you describe.

*I* make plans for my birthday, and usually they involve me making my favorite foods I don't want people throwing surprise parties, inviting me out to dinner (unless I have a hankering for a dish I cannot make myself, in which case I tell them), or giving me presents. I'm cursed with extreme pickiness, so I prefer to buy the things I want, and only ask for hugs and kisses from my family. If they make me cards, that's nice. My husband understands this now, and makes me food gifts he knows I will like - usually something to do with chocolate.

I don’t like my birthday. I feel forced by family to celebrate.

Anonymous wrote:Serious question but what’s the significance of birthdays once you are out of child phase? Obviously I have never cared for mine. Just another day to me.

It's nice to be celebrated. It's nice for one day to pause and be reminded of all the love.

I always make my kids a favorite dessert or dinner, and make sure they know it's their day. It would be nice if someone did that for me, without me asking or planning. (No, not playing martyr, I shrug it off, I do mention things I want to do in advance, but if COURSE it would be nice if it was just done for me.)