All bragging is rude, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so few “safe” topics to chitchat about. Most UMC people go on vacation somewhere during the summer, so it’s just a way to make conversation and have something to talk about.

While I agree, there is clearly a difference between people who talk about it when it comes up naturally, and don't do so in a braggy way, and people who give a ton of details that convey expense (our suite comes with a private plunge pool and our own butler!) and then post a ton of pictures on social media clearly demonstrating how fancy and expensive the trip was.

Example:

Normal/Fine:
You: "So, have any fun trips planned this summer?"
Them: "Yes, we are headed to the Domincan Republic, what about you guys?"

Braggy:
Them: "Yes, we are going to the Rosewood Mayakoba. I'm SO glad we are bringing our nanny and got her and the kids their own room! Wouldn't be a vacation otherwise! If you go, you HAVE to pay for the expedited arrival service because othewise you'll stand in line forever at the airport!"

It's this. I LOVE talking travel with people, including travel that is by nature more expensive or exclusive. But there are people who fixate on details like this and will bring it up at every opportunity even though these are really just boring logistics. I really, really hate when people want to sit around and talk about stuff like pre-clearances for air travel or car rental services or whatever. It's one thing if someone says "we are trying to figure out how to get the kids and all our gear to the resort without renting a car" and someone response by saying "oh check if the resort has this service, it costs extra but we found it worth it." But a lot of people will volunteer this information to try and impress upon you how they spared no expense and it's incredibly boring.

I am sad for people who can afford to drop 5-10k on a weeklong vacation but when they come home all their anecdotes are about stuff like their car service or the lay flat beds on the flight or whatever. I sometimes wonder if they even enjoyed their actual destination. It makes me think of that show White Lotus -- all those wealthy people in this gorgeous location, feeling bored and fighting with their family and bickering over the size of their resort suite.

I think you're discounting how logistics (especially if they're bad) can affect the rest of the vacation, at least for some people (like me). I want to feel like I'm on vacation from the minute I leave my house, so I appreciate when people let me know about things I may not have known about, like to where it's easiest and less hassle to rent a car (or maybe don't rent a car, hire a driver, it works out better), or how to get through security more quickly, etc. If I'm spending 5-10k on a vacation then I'm going to be willing to spend a little more on that extra service in order to make the trip even better. I don't think sharing information like this with people who you know are not adverse to doing the things that are being recommended, is bragging. If I can't afford the recommendation, I am not at all offended that the recommendation was given.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We talk about where we're vacationing with friends and neighbors because it's nice to talk about fun plans with friends. I never think anything in particular about where people are going, and I assume they don't think anything about where I'm going either.

This.

You are most likely assuming judgment based on your own insecurity or envy.

I promise you that nobody is passing judgement on whether you vacation or where you travel.

+1
And I, for one, love to see vacation pictures on social media. I’ve gotten some great destination ideas from seeing places others enjoyed.

I don’t think they brag more, I think that the location, length, and frequency of trips that seems extravagant to some seems normal to them in their circle of friends. They don’t think they are bragging because they are out of touch with what normal middle class families do.

When I met my in-laws, they were confused when I didn’t have an answer to “where does your family vacation?”. They were even more confused that growing up I didn’t go on a vacation every year when they often did 1 week skiing, 1 week spring break, and one week at the beach in the summer.

My family is UMC but I suffer from anxiety so traveling isn't my thing. Since I think I can look at this objectively, I don't see people sharing their travels as bragging moreso that it's a lot of people's hobbies. As most people get into their mid-40s and up, there aren't a ton of hobbies that can give people joy like travelling - especially those who like to plan their trips themselves. So it can be all-consuming and they can talk about it a lot but it's not usually a look at how much money I spent, but look at how much time and effort I spent and it's fun for them to share. I still like to listen even though I have no desire to travel

I no longer live in the dc area but another (small) city in VA...barely constitutes a city, really more of a town (but a fun town!!). It's very common to talk about plans for breaks and ask about trips, check out pics, ect. Some friends will post pics from their entire trip and I honestly really enjoy perusing facebook and living vicariously! I enjoy people sharing this. It would make social media very dull otherwise. It sometimes gives me inspiration for future trips. I post pics myself and a number of people have shared that they love seeing my pics and feel inspired and then ask for tips.

This all depends on your social circle!! When I am around people who have a high level of education, who tend to be more progressive....there is a deeper interest in travel and exploring different cultures.

When I am with people who have lower levels of education or maybe 50+ and have lived there long-term/are from the rural county and likely more conservative....they will sometimes almost brag about NOT going places and complain about people spending money on travel and say,who could possibly do that?! When they also have a huge home and a nice RV or horses. I tend to avoid this crowd as I am NOT NOT NOT accepted as a "Yankee" but I have encountered it.

I did not experience this in Arlington nor did I experience people just endlessly bragging. The people I was around all traveled a lot and it was the basis for lots of interesting conversations!

Escape winter I meant

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

My week in the Caribbean probably costs less than your week in Bethany or Rehoboth.

Mexico and DR are definitely cheaper than domestic beaches in the summer.

I always wonder why anyone would fly to the Caribbean during the summer. It is already hot here.

We do the Caribbean in the winter or spring. If you say you are going in the summer, it would signal the opposite of rich.

I love the Caribbean in the summer. Less crowded, better deals. It's not hotter than DC in the summer. The water is clear and warm. The beaches are delightful. It's a superior beach trip for less money and comparable travel time to some parts of the Outer Banks.

We also love the Caribbean. We just go to escape the cold in the summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

My week in the Caribbean probably costs less than your week in Bethany or Rehoboth.

Mexico and DR are definitely cheaper than domestic beaches in the summer.

I always wonder why anyone would fly to the Caribbean during the summer. It is already hot here.

We do the Caribbean in the winter or spring. If you say you are going in the summer, it would signal the opposite of rich.

I love the Caribbean in the summer. Less crowded, better deals. It's not hotter than DC in the summer. The water is clear and warm. The beaches are delightful. It's a superior beach trip for less money and comparable travel time to some parts of the Outer Banks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

My week in the Caribbean probably costs less than your week in Bethany or Rehoboth.

Mexico and DR are definitely cheaper than domestic beaches in the summer.

I always wonder why anyone would fly to the Caribbean during the summer. It is already hot here.

We do the Caribbean in the winter or spring. If you say you are going in the summer, it would signal the opposite of rich.

I tell everyone I’m consciously reducing our family’s carbon footprint.

They give me a blank look and keep talking about Portugal.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t offer or talk about where we go on vacations. I tell DS if friends ask where he went, say he went to the beach and not to the beach house.

But parents are asking what are you doing this summer or about any travel plans. At the recent soccer game, a parent asked what were we doing for Memorial Day weekend. I said we are going to DE shore. She asks are we renting a house or doing a Arbnb?

I don’t volunteer things but I’m not going to lie if asked directly. It just seems like travel and trips are common conversation topics at where DS goes to school or at least the parents we see a lot.

This. I am a soccer dad, and I must admit that I find it excruciating to make small talk with the other parents. I have always found that vacation plans are a "safe" topic that just lends itself to the moment of how we all as parents are getting our kids through the school breaks. Also, I've found that like us, a lot of people want to talk about travel because no one could go anywhere the past couple of years. Yes, many have made more exotic plans, but I haven't taken it as bragging - I've taken it as people are just very very excited to get out and go places and are taking big trips to celebrate.

We have done a lot of international travel for work and because our families live abroad. These days I hate the hassle of international flights and the crowds and the jetlag. I still travel to countries that many people describe as "I've always wanted to go there" because I have to in order to see family. Some of our best trips however have been to places 2-3 hours away where we've rented places with a view, done day trips, read books, bought local produce and watched the birds. When people say they're going on safari in Kenya, or touring Greece or visiting Thailand I don't feel jealousy at all, just relief it's not me. Maybe I'm just getting old but I've come to see the value of a good documentary rather than the pain of seeing these places in real life.

We don’t offer or talk about where we go on vacations. I tell DS if friends ask where he went, say he went to the beach and not to the beach house.

But parents are asking what are you doing this summer or about any travel plans. At the recent soccer game, a parent asked what were we doing for Memorial Day weekend. I said we are going to DE shore. She asks are we renting a house or doing a Arbnb?

I don’t volunteer things but I’m not going to lie if asked directly. It just seems like travel and trips are common conversation topics at where DS goes to school or at least the parents we see a lot.

Anonymous wrote:I love how some posters are like “all my friends are rich like me, so it isn’t really bragging if I talk about my expensive trips to them. I guess if you have poor friends, it would be bragging.”

Classic DCUM. Never change.