Anonymous wrote:My mom would:

Routinely throw full glasses or plates of food at me at meal times and then scream at/hit me until I cleaned up her mess.
Go on Joan Crawford-style rampages and destroy my room - drawers emptied on to the floor, my things broken, smashed, etc.
Give me a small suitcase and tell me to pack b/c she was kicking me out - this started when I was around 4 - and then lock me out of the house.
Hit, scratch, pull my hair, lie, gaslight, drive exceedingly recklessly... all to intimidate and frighten me into her control.
Ruin nearly every personal milestone of mine by throwing tantrums and making it all about her.

I could go on and on...

I can relate to so many of the posts, but the bolded really rings true for me, too. And the more important the milestone (ivy league law school graduation, birth of first child, etc.), the more she made it all about her.

Slapped me in the face
Rolled my arm up in a power window, supposedly an accident
Served all sugary desserts at my baby shower when I wasn’t supposed to be eating sugar
Telling everyone my house is so small
Screamed at me when I applied to a college out of state
Told me my grandmother wasn’t worth organizing a funeral for
Pits me and my siblings against each other

So many things

I am glad I have good friends but I still have a voice in my head that questions me and holds me back sometimes. I struggle now to be a normal and calm person.

My dad said "If I were a young man and I saw you I'd definitely want to speak to you, but as soon as you said anything, I'd never want to speak to you again"

Attempted suicide and left notes all over the house blaming me for it. When I was in the ER meeting with the doctor to start the process of involuntary commitment, I had this weird thought that I was going to find a note and that it would include me. I found 4 when we came back from the hospital.

It was cruel, sure, but it was despair, depression, illness talking. It took me about 10 solid years to be able to type that and know it's true.

She and my father got married very young and had a baby early. She told me repeatedly that having me ruined her life. Probably true, but who says that to a 10 year old?

I had a recent diagnosis of ovarian cancer. My kids were 2 and 4. I was really scared. She told me that I was being a baby.

I did a pageant reluctantly at her insistence (I’d done them previously and did well, I just didn’t want to do this one)… I didn’t place and was told it was because of my weight. I was probably a size 6/8 at the time. I never did another pageant again, despite enjoying them.

When I was actively miscarrying, she reluctantly came to help with my then 1 year old. She told me that if I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t happen. Also, she never knew anyone who it happened to so was it real?

My mom would:

Routinely throw full glasses or plates of food at me at meal times and then scream at/hit me until I cleaned up her mess.
Go on Joan Crawford-style rampages and destroy my room - drawers emptied on to the floor, my things broken, smashed, etc.
Give me a small suitcase and tell me to pack b/c she was kicking me out - this started when I was around 4 - and then lock me out of the house.
Hit, scratch, pull my hair, lie, gaslight, drive exceedingly recklessly... all to intimidate and frighten me into her control.
Ruin nearly every personal milestone of mine by throwing tantrums and making it all about her.

I could go on and on...

“Do you work to make yourself ugly”

These are heartbreaking.

My mom had major depression and said and did hurtful things, but nothing this bad. More like "back when I used to like you" kind of stuff.

Threw a glass of wine in my face. She is a recovered alcoholic and this was at a low point. Implied often that I was not as smart as my brother, not motivated, etc. I may not be as smart as him but we both went to Ivy League schools so I wasn’t that much of a loser!

I’ve come to recognize that these are her issues, not mine.

Anonymous wrote:Why just moms? My dad said pretty terrible things too

Start a thread. I can contribute, too, unfortunately.

Why just moms? My dad said pretty terrible things too

When I was a teenager, she said to me:" If I knew you were going to be like this, I would've had an abortion!". We eventually enjoyed a nice relationship and she died 11 years ago, but those words still sting.