"What do you do all day?"

At a fancy dinner party at my ILs when MIL stated that I stayed home with my 2 and 4 year olds and had household help. One of the guests asked this, who I had just met.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We had an amnio because we didn’t want to bring a child into the world who couldn’t take care of itself.”

We had an amnio too. Our children were both 3 at the time.

I am missing what's wrong with this. I am sorry.

The post prior to this one was about downs, maybe it’s from the same poster?

Some of these, though, I really don’t understand why people considered them so offensive, tbh.
Sometimes I really think people hear so much more than is being said. I’ve been both a SAHM and a WOHM; I don’t get why it’s offensive for someone doing something other than you to say why. If I’m a WOHM and a SAHM says she stays home because she couldn’t bear to leave her kids, or they need her so much, or the time goes by so fast — ok. That’s how you feel, but that isn’t how I feel. If I’m a SAHM and a WOHM is talking about how important it is to work for pay so you can provide your kids with more financial benefits, so your kids can socialize and be with a caregiver educated in ECE, or see you set an example, again, ok; that’s great for you. I don’t have to interpret it as a criticism of me.

Anonymous wrote:“We had an amnio because we didn’t want to bring a child into the world who couldn’t take care of itself.”

We had an amnio too. Our children were both 3 at the time.

I am missing what's wrong with this. I am sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be room mother?

What does this entail? Not in school yet

I cannot even speak to it. Just don’t do it. No one will ever be happy no matter what you do. Pace yourself with the volunteering - you’ve got 12 years!

Oh, it’s fine but really best for SAHM or part time worker. You get to go to all the class parties and get to know the teacher very well. You basically plan the class parties, collect donations for the class parties or teacher gift, do a signup genius for various parent volunteer things for the class. That’s it. I e never ever heard of anyone giving the class parents a hard time about anything. What would you even say? “I disagree with the implementation of the mummy game at the class Halloween party? And why was monster mash not played? Can it truly be a party without monster mash?” Who would do that sort of thing?

This gave me a chuckle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be room mother?

What does this entail? Not in school yet

I cannot even speak to it. Just don’t do it. No one will ever be happy no matter what you do. Pace yourself with the volunteering - you’ve got 12 years!

Oh, it’s fine but really best for SAHM or part time worker. You get to go to all the class parties and get to know the teacher very well. You basically plan the class parties, collect donations for the class parties or teacher gift, do a signup genius for various parent volunteer things for the class. That’s it. I e never ever heard of anyone giving the class parents a hard time about anything. What would you even say? “I disagree with the implementation of the mummy game at the class Halloween party? And why was monster mash not played? Can it truly be a party without monster mash?” Who would do that sort of thing?

“I can’t imagine doing xyz with what you’re going through”

Said because my little one has some special needs. I mean, I go to more therapies, but I stay at home and I’m crazy in love with him. I’m not going “through” anything.

Anonymous wrote:New women my brother is dating at a family cook out: And Karen how many kids do you have?
Me (Karen): well I have two…
Sister in law: she has two, she will say three with a long story but she has two.


This was like maybe, maybe, 4 months after our stillborn daughter. I think it was more like 3 months though. What’s odd is I don’t even hate my sister in law, we get along fine. I think she is on the spectrum and just can’t deal with emotional things and was worried I would make our new family guest uncomfortable. But I was in a moment in my life where I needed to handle and pivot those questions my own way and I found it very offensive and mean. Unfortunately I took this out on my husband and we fought hard about it. But I still still never forget it.

I am so sorry for your loss and that this was said. Hugs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be room mother?

What does this entail? Not in school yet

I cannot even speak to it. Just don’t do it. No one will ever be happy no matter what you do. Pace yourself with the volunteering - you’ve got 12 years!

Anonymous wrote:"Your daughter's skin is so light. She looks white. You never know what skin color they are going to be."

Meaghan?

"Your daughter's skin is so light. She looks white. You never know what skin color they are going to be."

I told another mom what my daughter’s name was and she then asked what her real name was.

SO many people tell me how about “truly exceptional” their kids are - IQ off the charts, so athletically gifted, modeling etc. They don’t seem all that different from my kids, so is that just to make me feel bad about my kids? Talk themselves into feeling their kids are special to the world? What?

New women my brother is dating at a family cook out: And Karen how many kids do you have?
Me (Karen): well I have two…
Sister in law: she has two, she will say three with a long story but she has two.


This was like maybe, maybe, 4 months after our stillborn daughter. I think it was more like 3 months though. What’s odd is I don’t even hate my sister in law, we get along fine. I think she is on the spectrum and just can’t deal with emotional things and was worried I would make our new family guest uncomfortable. But I was in a moment in my life where I needed to handle and pivot those questions my own way and I found it very offensive and mean. Unfortunately I took this out on my husband and we fought hard about it. But I still still never forget it.

Anonymous wrote:Not another mother but a nanny. This nanny came up to me laughing and said she thought I was the nanny and our nanny was the mother and she told our nanny (thinking she was the mother) that the nanny (me) was terrible and always on her phone.

That is so funny!

"After I had my baby I decided to quit work and stay home because I had a uniquely strong bond with my baby that other mothers just can't understand."