Disconnected family. Not necessarily estranged, just independent and self sufficient. As an orphan myself, I have a really hard time dealing with the expectations and outright demands of DH’s family (holidays, living locations, access to my life, access to my kids, etc).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone without a hypercontrolling nature and no ADHD or Asperger's tendencies.
My husband just had another tantrum this morning. It's exhausting.

+1

THIS. They mask it for so long, then it gets really, really bad. God forbid they pass those traits on to your poor, unsuspecting, innocent children.

I mean, I know you both are just trolls, but for the poor, innocent readers of the internet: That’s. Not. How. Asd. Works.

Actually it’s exactly how it works.

Someone without a personality disorder...

Anonymous wrote:You could do all this and still end up with someone who undergoes personality changes over the years. A crystal ball is what is really needed.

+1 Also, some people just become more of who they really are. If you see traits you're not thrilled about but think you can tolerate early in the relationship, consider those traits will only magnify over 20 years and become an even more significant part of who they are. I think to actually change for the better someone needs to work at it. Oftentimes the change we see is that the person is really just become more of who they really are.

I would date and marry my DH again. He is a keeper. knowing what I know now, I would do some things different e.g. kids and career for me. But I would do it with my DH.

The same one I married.

We dated for 5 years so that we could both fully see what we were getting in the other. The best advice I ever got was TAKE YOUR TIME.

His values. Values do not come from your family — they come from yourself. His ability and type of communication style. The way he handles money. His problem solving skills and level of resourcefulness.

I’m not married but this is important for everyone.

Not one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing overall, but ideally someone who was more into planning and extroverted duringweekends, and being outdoors
and honestly, i am far from someone you would think would marry for money, but if i started from scratch and was looking for $, I'd hang out in dating pools with wealthy people with serious generational wealht, because why not?

This times a million!! would still marry for love no matter what but wealth/comfort/security matter!

Having said that, I met him at Princeton and I also went to HBS, so it's not like I didn't have a chance to fall in love with people with generational wealth (and I say generational, because I actually think most people actively looking to make a lot of money wouldn't be good fit for me)

It’s better to marry generational wealth, so long as he knows how to make more or manage it properly. So many I know born into wealth have no idea how to make money— only how to spend it.

Own without mental disorders and maladaptive jerk reactions.

I'd have prioritized someone who had more in savings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing overall, but ideally someone who was more into planning and extroverted duringweekends, and being outdoors
and honestly, i am far from someone you would think would marry for money, but if i started from scratch and was looking for $, I'd hang out in dating pools with wealthy people with serious generational wealht, because why not?

This times a million!! would still marry for love no matter what but wealth/comfort/security matter!

Having said that, I met him at Princeton and I also went to HBS, so it's not like I didn't have a chance to fall in love with people with generational wealth (and I say generational, because I actually think most people actively looking to make a lot of money wouldn't be good fit for me)

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing overall, but ideally someone who was more into planning and extroverted duringweekends, and being outdoors
and honestly, i am far from someone you would think would marry for money, but if i started from scratch and was looking for $, I'd hang out in dating pools with wealthy people with serious generational wealht, because why not?

This times a million!! would still marry for love no matter what but wealth/comfort/security matter!

Agreeeee keep an eye on your future in laws and his relationship with his family!! It will shape so much of your life. Also, high income earner all day every day with potential for growth. I have bee so thankfully blessed that my husband earns a great income and we have a comfortable life, not without its stresses and issues of course but I could only imagine us wanting tk earn more money, not live on less!! He also doesnt pressure me to work except for getting all my social security quarters done, I manage our considerable rental Property portfolio and have a small work from home job plus manage household.
And be especially mindful if any vices- does he gamble, does he drink, does he pop pills or watch porn? Those three things- his family of origin, his salary/profession, and his habits/vices!

I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing overall, but ideally someone who was more into planning and extroverted duringweekends, and being outdoors
and honestly, i am far from someone you would think would marry for money, but if i started from scratch and was looking for $, I'd hang out in dating pools with wealthy people with serious generational wealht, because why not?