Anonymous
06/10/2022 22:39
Subject: Re:Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Check out the psychology today directory. Do you have an EAP program at your work?
Anonymous
06/10/2022 22:39
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
I wondered.
DP
Anonymous
06/10/2022 22:36
Subject: Re:Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Interesting. This is a great thing to talk about with a therapist.
I am the opposite and cannot stand people feeling sorry for me and I think it's the way I was raised and I've talked to a therapist about it. I have tended to feel like I always need to be my best self, no one cares, don't show or tell people your real vulnerabilities, make it seem like everything is great, etc. I think this probably goes better in terms of people wanting to be around you than being a complainer, but it can keep people at a distance too, which is not a good thing. Therapy really helped me change.
This is how I am. If a car has just run me over, I’d say I was fine.
At the same time, I was a bit of a complainypants at one point. I went through a long and hard time coming to terms with parental neglect and abuse, and I lost some friends due to it.
Therapy could help you. For me, I just made sure NOT to talk about the crap. One thing that helps is to plan out nice things to talk about. A new hobby. A book you liked. A TV show you liked. And ask them questions. Get them talking.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 22:16
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
OP here. This is funny. I am an extrovert and like attention in person, not from online strangers believe it or not.
Then why post about this on an anonymous forum? Sorry but that just doesn’t add up.
OP here. Where else would I post about this online? It’s not exactly something I’m proud of. I wanted feedback from people who might have experienced this or know what might be causing me to act this way. As I said, the narcissism angle is something that had never occurred to me and I am now wondering if it’s indeed a factor.
You aren't a Narcissist when it comes to the DSM. You are just attention-seeking and self-centered
+1. A narcissist isn’t concerned about being a narcissist.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 21:15
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
OP here. This is funny. I am an extrovert and like attention in person, not from online strangers believe it or not.
Then why post about this on an anonymous forum? Sorry but that just doesn’t add up.
OP here. Where else would I post about this online? It’s not exactly something I’m proud of. I wanted feedback from people who might have experienced this or know what might be causing me to act this way. As I said, the narcissism angle is something that had never occurred to me and I am now wondering if it’s indeed a factor.
You aren't a Narcissist when it comes to the DSM. You are just attention-seeking and self-centered
Anonymous
06/10/2022 21:01
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
I’m glad you’re thinking of this , op. I’m a therapist and think this is a good topic for a short few sessions of therapy. It doesn’t matter if a therapist is “good”, just that they let you talk and figure things out. I wish you well and am sending good vibes.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 21:01
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
OP here. This is funny. I am an extrovert and like attention in person, not from online strangers believe it or not.
Then why post about this on an anonymous forum? Sorry but that just doesn’t add up.
OP here. Where else would I post about this online? It’s not exactly something I’m proud of. I wanted feedback from people who might have experienced this or know what might be causing me to act this way. As I said, the narcissism angle is something that had never occurred to me and I am now wondering if it’s indeed a factor.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:56
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
OP here. This is funny. I am an extrovert and like attention in person, not from online strangers believe it or not.
Then why post about this on an anonymous forum? Sorry but that just doesn’t add up.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:54
Subject: Re:Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do crave attention so maybe that explains it. I wish there were a way to help myself stop being this way without therapy.
Why don't you want to do therapy? You hate a part of yourself and you are actively trying to hide that trait from someone you are dating. Therapy is great for this sort of thing. But you have to be willing to take a true look at yourself.
I simply can’t afford a good out of network therapist (I’ve done some research and all the good ones appear to not take insurance). I’ve had a host of health issues this past year that have left me in significant debt.
Nice excuse. There are good therapists that take insurance.
OP here. The ones I liked when I searched last month were all out of network. But I will post to the health section and see if there are any recommendations. The points made on this thread about narcissism are interesting and concerning to me, and like I said, I want to get ahead of this promptly for personal reasons.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:35
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
OP here. This is funny. I am an extrovert and like attention in person, not from online strangers believe it or not.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:21
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Yup.
And they're manipulative about it.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:19
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
This entire thread is giving the OP the satisfaction of attention.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 20:04
Subject: Re:Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do crave attention so maybe that explains it. I wish there were a way to help myself stop being this way without therapy.
Why don't you want to do therapy? You hate a part of yourself and you are actively trying to hide that trait from someone you are dating. Therapy is great for this sort of thing. But you have to be willing to take a true look at yourself.
I simply can’t afford a good out of network therapist (I’ve done some research and all the good ones appear to not take insurance). I’ve had a host of health issues this past year that have left me in significant debt.
Oh wait lemme feed into what you want "oh poor poor you that's terrible none of those mean old therapists take insurance"
Nice excuse. There are good therapists that take insurance.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 19:44
Subject: Re:Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do crave attention so maybe that explains it. I wish there were a way to help myself stop being this way without therapy.
Why don't you want to do therapy? You hate a part of yourself and you are actively trying to hide that trait from someone you are dating. Therapy is great for this sort of thing. But you have to be willing to take a true look at yourself.
I simply can’t afford a good out of network therapist (I’ve done some research and all the good ones appear to not take insurance). I’ve had a host of health issues this past year that have left me in significant debt.
Nice excuse. There are good therapists that take insurance.
Anonymous
06/10/2022 19:06
Subject: Why do I like it when people feel sorry for me?
To me being pitied is the worst thing in the world.