Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best age to start dating is when you are sufficiently mature enough to maintain your other responsibilities, handle a breakup without falling part, and have met someone you like who likes you back and treats you respectfully. Same for boys and girls.

This sounds good, but in reality I fell in love before I knew if I would love someone who treated me respectfully. I also couldn’t handle the break up without falling apart. I wasn’t mature enough, but there I was, in love.

Sometimes you can’t plan this! They will figure it out, even though they may be in pain.

Kindly, perhaps our children can learn from our experiences. Maybe teaching them better especially doing away with all this in love = lose all sense and must make bad decisions BS a purely Western notion btw

Not everyone gets a carefully curated childhood. Things can happen- I know people whose lives drastically changed because of car accidents while they were in high school as an example. Thinking we are so in charge of our childrens lives if a fallacy - western thought or not.

Kindly, you're the parent now so instead of waving your hand and saying well love will suck and she's bound to have bad relationships and make bad choices because of love why not teach her better?

Surely you don't believe in bi suffered so she must to?

I’m thinking about a friend who sustained a TBI from a car crash in high school. It made it difficult for her to make decisions. If you think her parents didn’t love her and want good things for her, you are incorrect. She married a guy who abused her. I’m not talking about teaching kids things. I’m talking about life events where major trauma happens that effects the way people operate in relationships. Rape would be another one that comes to mind. I’m not saying you can’t have a good relationship after being raped, I’m saying it may take a few mistakes before you are able to achieve that. You seem to thing you can teach your kid out of those mistakes. I’m saying you cannot control all the situations your daughter will ever be in and that those situations won’t have an affect on her relationship choices.

Kindly, we are going to have to agree to disagree. I hope you are able to continue to live your life thinking you are in control of everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my son not to date anyone until at least after finishing grad school and taking care of his health, body and mind. Focus on himself and what he wants to achieve with his life, improve his social skills, hobbies, etc... In other words, focus and improve on himself, first and foremost. If he could do that, women would come to him in droves. He can have ladies who are friends but dating and having a gf is a big distraction from what he wants to achieve his goals.

Behind every great man is a woman, I would never had gotten though law school without my girlfriend now wife

Interesting. My son started dating a certain girl when they were both Juniors in college. She was smart and driven, same as my son. He went on to law school and she chose the same school for her Masters program. They lived in the same apartment and it worked out very well. She was instrumental in his schooling success and keeping him grounded. He’s in Big Law now and they were married 2 months ago. We feel very fortunate to have her in his life and in our lives.

Anonymous wrote:I told my son not to date anyone until at least after finishing grad school and taking care of his health, body and mind. Focus on himself and what he wants to achieve with his life, improve his social skills, hobbies, etc... In other words, focus and improve on himself, first and foremost. If he could do that, women would come to him in droves. He can have ladies who are friends but dating and having a gf is a big distraction from what he wants to achieve his goals.

, I think sex falls under taking care of health too. Or are you suggesting he hooks up here and there until after grad school?

Both my kids (DS and DD), have been encouraged to attend games, go for dances and drama productions in their school. They have always gone in large groups. Even for prom they were with their friends, both boys and girls, and there was no pressure to find a date.

My DD started dating when she was 20 in college. She is dating seriously now with someone that she met in college. She is 25 now. There has never been a push or restrictions for my kids to date as they are focused on their education, career and social life.

If your kids are interesting and driven people, they will attract people similar to them and the dating will happen organically. Are they good and decent human beings? Do they present well and look attractive? Are they in a good career track? Do they have lots of friends? There will be no dearth of people for them to date.

Anonymous wrote:I told my son not to date anyone until at least after finishing grad school and taking care of his health, body and mind. Focus on himself and what he wants to achieve with his life, improve his social skills, hobbies, etc... In other words, focus and improve on himself, first and foremost. If he could do that, women would come to him in droves. He can have ladies who are friends but dating and having a gf is a big distraction from what he wants to achieve his goals.

Behind every great man is a woman, I would never had gotten though law school without my girlfriend now wife

Anonymous wrote:How about not focusing her entire existence on getting a boyfriend a relationship and marriage.

Teaching her that having a man is the most important thing is likely to push her into bad situations and relationships

+1

How about not focusing her entire existence on getting a boyfriend a relationship and marriage.

Teaching her that having a man is the most important thing is likely to push her into bad situations and relationships

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best age to start dating is when you are sufficiently mature enough to maintain your other responsibilities, handle a breakup without falling part, and have met someone you like who likes you back and treats you respectfully. Same for boys and girls.

This sounds good, but in reality I fell in love before I knew if I would love someone who treated me respectfully. I also couldn’t handle the break up without falling apart. I wasn’t mature enough, but there I was, in love.

Sometimes you can’t plan this! They will figure it out, even though they may be in pain.

Kindly, perhaps our children can learn from our experiences. Maybe teaching them better especially doing away with all this in love = lose all sense and must make bad decisions BS a purely Western notion btw

Not everyone gets a carefully curated childhood. Things can happen- I know people whose lives drastically changed because of car accidents while they were in high school as an example. Thinking we are so in charge of our childrens lives if a fallacy - western thought or not.

Kindly, you're the parent now so instead of waving your hand and saying well love will suck and she's bound to have bad relationships and make bad choices because of love why not teach her better?

Surely you don't believe in bi suffered so she must to?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best age to start dating is when you are sufficiently mature enough to maintain your other responsibilities, handle a breakup without falling part, and have met someone you like who likes you back and treats you respectfully. Same for boys and girls.

This sounds good, but in reality I fell in love before I knew if I would love someone who treated me respectfully. I also couldn’t handle the break up without falling apart. I wasn’t mature enough, but there I was, in love.

Sometimes you can’t plan this! They will figure it out, even though they may be in pain.

Kindly, perhaps our children can learn from our experiences. Maybe teaching them better especially doing away with all this in love = lose all sense and must make bad decisions BS a purely Western notion btw

Not everyone gets a carefully curated childhood. Things can happen- I know people whose lives drastically changed because of car accidents while they were in high school as an example. Thinking we are so in charge of our childrens lives if a fallacy - western thought or not.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is seriously dating at 24. I would have liked for her to have waited till 32.

I hope this is a joke. I hope my kids have kids and are married by 32 so I can know my grandkids!

Anonymous wrote:When are you going to encourage your DDs to date? Is there a good age?

I see 35,45 year olds making terrible choices and decisions so age is a number to me. Anyone who is legally old enough to consent, is old enough to date.

Lady friend? Is he a 43 old in 1937 time warp.

Anonymous wrote:I told my son not to date anyone until at least after finishing grad school and taking care of his health, body and mind. Focus on himself and what he wants to achieve with his life, improve his social skills, hobbies, etc... In other words, focus and improve on himself, first and foremost. If he could do that, women would come to him in droves. He can have ladies who are friends but dating and having a gf is a big distraction from what he wants to achieve his goals.

This is dumb. Who waits until their 58th college degree to date? Stop projecting your fears and wack experiences on your kid.

And the bolded is extra dumb. Who are you to say when he can have "ladies." Get a grip.

I think when a person can drive a car, can vote, have privacy HIPPA, he/she is an adult and have a right to make their own decisions. If you don’t think so, don’t let them drive, move away for college or finish college to work. Wait for 25 or 40 or whenever.