I consider myself polite but I usually just say interested because I’m trying to be first because that’s how most people choose in my group. I do always say thank you when they give it to me though. Actually my neighborhood has a Take My Kids Shit group because we got tired of all the Buy Nothing rules (had a particularly annoying moderator) and it’s is much more active and easy to use.

Anonymous wrote:I love my group, have given and gotten many treasures.

My vent is that the last few months have been a series of people who are interested but never pick up. By the time I reach back out, the post is cold and nobody else is interested.

I've started blocking people who claim items and don't pick them up.

Yes exactly this- I like my group overall but have become frustrated by the no-snows. So I’ve been gravitating towards “curb alerts” on my neighborhood listserv when I really want to get rid of things and don’t have the energy for buy nothing.

I’ve given nice kids furniture, bikes etc and was so thrilled to get a quick note of thanks or a photo. I then contact those people first when I have something else to give away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

Um....that is part of the buy nothing model. If you don't want that, let people know in the original post that you are going to pick randomly.

I assume all the stories are made up to try to sound needy or sweet. I also assume half the time they are vultures who will just make a couple bucks with it on eBay....but in the end of it is out of my house I am good.

Oh my! You are... extremely jaded and cynical aren't you?

Anonymous wrote:This post just goes to show how important it is for a group's moderators to set and enforce norms.

My group specifically bans PMing without permission. A poster/giver can decide how they want to give away their item (random selection, heart-string tugging, or first-come/first serve). I typically go with first-come/first-served and "interested" and "next" are all I need to know.

Sometimes someone will give away something sentimental and will want to know what people intend to do with the item. Or sometimes it will be a hot item (like an iPhone) and people will say they're letting the post simmer and will randomly select a recipient.

First come / first served is discouraged in my group as it favors people who are able to be on FB constantly. You can list things as a speed gift, but general guidance is to let items simmer and choose via random number. I do appreciate a thank you DM upon pickup, which I usually get (and give).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my group, have given and gotten many treasures.

My vent is that the last few months have been a series of people who are interested but never pick up. By the time I reach back out, the post is cold and nobody else is interested.

I've started blocking people who claim items and don't pick them up.

I just don't select them ever agin. It happens a lot.

Our group has over 2000 people so there’s no way I’d remember people’s names unless o already know them somehow.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a reflection of the culture of this area. My sister lives in a smaller town somewhere else in the US and said she almost always gets a photo sent to her of the item in its new home or being used with a message about how grateful they are to have it. I have not had this happen a single time here - not that I expect it, but the difference is interesting.

I’ve gifted cuttings and sometimes I get update photos months later. Super sweet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

Um....that is part of the buy nothing model. If you don't want that, let people know in the original post that you are going to pick randomly.

I assume all the stories are made up to try to sound needy or sweet. I also assume half the time they are vultures who will just make a couple bucks with it on eBay....but in the end of it is out of my house I am good.

What! These are your neighbors, lol.

Lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

Um....that is part of the buy nothing model. If you don't want that, let people know in the original post that you are going to pick randomly.

I assume all the stories are made up to try to sound needy or sweet. I also assume half the time they are vultures who will just make a couple bucks with it on eBay....but in the end of it is out of my house I am good.

What! These are your neighbors, lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seek for cheap rather than buy nothing, I feel people are more serious that way. And I always give priority to who can pick up very soon (and if multiple can, I just go in order of response) and state that in my post.

I do this too. I find that people are more serious about picking up an item when they feel like they are getting a deal.

I felt that way on freecycle. People bailed all the time. It was never worth the effort. Buy freecycle we're all just independent free groups. Buy Nothing is a branded type concept that's supposed to follow specific guidelines. I have never had anyone just not show up from BN. Occasionally reschedule or whatever, but it's all done in a very civil friendly manner.

Anonymous wrote:I love my group, have given and gotten many treasures.

My vent is that the last few months have been a series of people who are interested but never pick up. By the time I reach back out, the post is cold and nobody else is interested.

I've started blocking people who claim items and don't pick them up.

I just don't select them ever agin. It happens a lot.

I think it's a reflection of the culture of this area. My sister lives in a smaller town somewhere else in the US and said she almost always gets a photo sent to her of the item in its new home or being used with a message about how grateful they are to have it. I have not had this happen a single time here - not that I expect it, but the difference is interesting.

Meh, it doesn't bother me. I don't like posting all my rationale for why I want something and I don't expect that from anyone.

In our group, its up to the giver to decide criteria so maybe a story and humble gratitude would be helpful for some givers.

I (almost) always randomize (fun activity for kindergartener to write out names and pick out of a hat)I give away a lot of clothes that I don't have the time or patience to sell on Poshmark....there is one woman in the group who is always interested in all the clothing items posted. I am pretty sure she resells them. I appreciate that she is making better use of my unwanted items so I often tip the scales in her favor if its just a few people interested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

Um....that is part of the buy nothing model. If you don't want that, let people know in the original post that you are going to pick randomly.

I assume all the stories are made up to try to sound needy or sweet. I also assume half the time they are vultures who will just make a couple bucks with it on eBay....but in the end of it is out of my house I am good.

Anonymous wrote:That's the culture of your specific group. Maybe check in with your mods about the actual guidelines.

In my group it's specifically stated that there's not "first" or "next" or whatever. People post like they're talking to their friends - "that would be great for my garage!" There's no "ISO" - it's "hey does anyone have a xxx to give away?" Always thank yous. Occasional gratitude posts. Almost always "got it" in a pm to close the deal after pick up. My group is very friendly.

My group, too. It's the most civil, polite, cheerful place in social media at the moment. Always thank yous in DMs and politely-phrased requests in posts and comments.