Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came here, hoping I could reduce the question down to a bare minimum of *minutes* working on *anything.* I don’t care if it’s making the bed and picking up clothes. Or unloading dishes with or without me.

I was hoping for some minimum that I can require with positive or negative consequences.

Reading the responses, I’m not ungrateful, but it’s making me feel overwhelmed somehow.

Minutes is too vague. Tasks with a clear beginning and end will work better. When you do X, we can do Y. No response to arguing or ignoring. Just wait.

It’s not easy OP, but it’s totally worth it to get kids helping. Reduces so much stress and teaches them so many great lessons.

This.

I can drive you to X after you take the trash out.

Sorry, I can’t make you a treat, because dishes are piled high in the counter since the dishwasher isn’t empty. After you empty it, I can make you that snack…

Show natural consequences.

That said, one kid has a disgusting room. Nothing I’ve tried has worked so far but I still have hope. That same kid will do other chores, though.

Tell them I understand this is your room but a room that's too messy attracts bugs and other creatures. Tell them if they want a mess to keep it in the closet and on the desk but the rest of the room needs to be cleaned. You should be able to see the floor. Also don't worry about a made bed. Help them the first time to clean and take them to pick out some organizing bins. After that it's now an expectation and they don't go anywhere besides school until it's clean.

Anonymous wrote:NP. Question for PP - do you track what they want for Xmas or birthdays, or do they?

They make Christmas and Birthday lists about a month before each. I tell them not to expect everything on the list as I try to get one expensive item and a couple other ones I know they'll use more. I usually also give a litte cash so they can decide what else they want that I didn't get. If I get a game system I only buy one game they have to save up for other games. I don't go too overboard maybe like $500 including cash for Christmas and $250 for Birthday unless they really need a computer or something it might be a bit more. They also get things not on their list like socks and underwear what kids call boring stuff. They get gifts from other family members too and usually ask for 1 specific item or just ask for cash