Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 10:21     Subject: Re:“thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this, but I really 100% genuinely mean it when I say it. It never occurred to me that this would offend anyone. Can someone explain why? (no, snark - serious question). I hope I haven't unintentionally offended someone.


Because it implies that no one ever asks so it’s being passive aggressive imo.



I say thank you too because in this day and age if they are not plugged in or just talking about themselves they are not asking either
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 08:03     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly not a troll.

I totally realize this is *my* issue, that’s why I asked. I think the issue is that the person who most often says this to me is my MIL, who definitely has a dramatic “oh, it’s so nice for you to take time out of your busy life to ask about little old me” air. And I have kind of a “let’s just cut to the chase” personality, so I know this shouldn’t rub me wrong.

And I came to DCUM for exactly this slap in the face, so thank you. (Sincerely)


You’re welcome! Could be MiL issue or maybe even reach farther back - my mom definitely was always inducing guilt trips on me. So I have to keep the tendency to think I’m being criticized by others in check.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 07:47     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shout "Mind your own business!" and don't make eye contact.


+1 Then I ask their age.


And weight, for good measure. Sometimes I also scream "Troll!" at them
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 07:44     Subject: “thanks for asking”
I think it may be regional, because I never heard it before I came here. I say it now because that’s what people do, but I would never notice if someone didn’t say it, and it does sound a little strange to me. But I also always heard and said “died” rather than “passed away” or the one that sounds even worse “passed”. New Yorkers - we say what we mean.

I don’t think any of those ore passive aggressive or rude, though.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 07:36     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:What a weird way to look at a social grace. I say "Thanks for asking" when people remember to inquire about a micro-issue or issue that's important to me but is not on everyone's radar.

I remember when the Trump Schedule F nonsense was repealed (If you know what this is, you know how much it frightened federal employees) an old friend had the grace to email me and say "you must be very relieved" and I thanked her for asking and told her I was. Truly, I was thankful that such a micro issue for the public at large would receive her attention and she would think of me.


This. It can be used sarcastically but I use it when someone asks about something most people don't ask about. I mentioned I had to go up the NY before my dad's surgery, and a week later a coworker asked how my dad was. Most people had already forgotten and it was nice of him to remember and ask.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 05:51     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:I say this and I mean it. It means a lot to me when people reach out to me and I want them to know it.


+1
I also say it often. Sometimes I say “thanks for checking in.” In my wildest dreams I never imagined it would cause offense, and I’m a people-pleaser who measures my words.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 05:48     Subject: “thanks for asking”
What a weird way to look at a social grace. I say "Thanks for asking" when people remember to inquire about a micro-issue or issue that's important to me but is not on everyone's radar.

I remember when the Trump Schedule F nonsense was repealed (If you know what this is, you know how much it frightened federal employees) an old friend had the grace to email me and say "you must be very relieved" and I thanked her for asking and told her I was. Truly, I was thankful that such a micro issue for the public at large would receive her attention and she would think of me.
Anonymous
Post 05/14/2022 04:59     Subject: Re:“thanks for asking”
I often say “thanks so much for asking” which I genuinely mean. Does the so much addition convey that or is that also passive aggressive? I say it a lot actually so I’m truly curious!
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 23:38     Subject: “thanks for asking”
I like it when people say this! I am generally afraid to ask people about their lives, for fear of being invasive or snoopy or whatever. So when I do ask, and they respond sincerely and then thank me for asking, I feel much better about having done it. So much so that I've made a point to thank people for asking how I'm doing when I sincerely appreciate the thoughtfulness. No guilt trip, I swear. I just want you to know how much it means to me, because I appreciate it when others let me know that they appreciate my attention.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 23:18     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I shout "Mind your own business!" and don't make eye contact.


+1 Then I ask their age.


+2. And how much they really weigh.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 22:46     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:I say this and I mean it. It means a lot to me when people reach out to me and I want them to know it.


Me too, said it today in fact and genuinely appreciate it that some people remembered to check in one me about something. I meant it and hope that it conveyed my gratitude and let them know that even though I didn't have updates today, I'm glad they asked and am open to future discussion.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 22:45     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:I shout "Mind your own business!" and don't make eye contact.


+1 Then I ask their age.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 22:39     Subject: “thanks for asking”
I say this and I mean it. It means a lot to me when people reach out to me and I want them to know it.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 21:54     Subject: “thanks for asking”
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly not a troll.

I totally realize this is *my* issue, that’s why I asked. I think the issue is that the person who most often says this to me is my MIL, who definitely has a dramatic “oh, it’s so nice for you to take time out of your busy life to ask about little old me” air. And I have kind of a “let’s just cut to the chase” personality, so I know this shouldn’t rub me wrong.

And I came to DCUM for exactly this slap in the face, so thank you. (Sincerely)


I like you, OP.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2022 21:31     Subject: Re:“thanks for asking”
It’s polite and not at all passive aggressive!

You people are weird as hell.