Anonymous wrote:A couple issues at hand.

I took Humira throughout my pregnancy and my son could not receive live vaccines for the first year of life. He was not able to have rotavirus vaccine and is more susceptible to infection. His pediatrician discouraged us from daycare saying that was likely the only place he would pick up rotavirus and he would likely get very ill and need to be hospitalized. I took a paycut and a completely remote job so I could be close to my son if needed.

We went through 8 nannies in the first two years. A couple issues were our fault - we would hire without a contact or clear duties. We now have a nanny and have had her on/off for over a year. We pay her $20/hr for 40 hours/week plus sick and vacation leave. The issue is she is constantly late and shows up with coffee in hand. She feeds our son convenience meals that we keep for treats, (like frozen pizza, chicken nuggets), she will rarely prepare fresh food for him and if she does it's pickles or bananas. I have to constantly remind her to take him for a walk or to the park. I try to encourage her to take him to stimulating activities like the library or toddler classes but she just doesn't. The house is constantly a mess, I have to ask her every single day to clean up his toys at the end of the day. I have reminded and asked her multiple times to do what's in her contact, (please take Larlo to the park today, please wipe down Larlo's highchair, please don't feed him fruit snacks all day or let him just let him watch TV).

Do I throw out the chicken nuggets? Do I pull the plug on the TV so she can't turn it on during the day? I've been a little lax on the TV and letting the nanny let my son watch a bit of TV while she prepares lunch, but my son will just end up watching TV for 45+ minutes while he's supposedly "eating lunch."

We actually gave our nanny 2 paid days off last week to trial a new nanny but she caught COVID and will not be able to return for 2-3 weeks. We've looked at the pool of candidates for nannies and the pay is just out of our reach at $25-30/hr. The nannies we have interviewed at $20/hr seem barely better than our current nanny and do not come with CPR, First Aid proof of vaccination or 3 references.

We have also looked at nanny shares, the families we have encountered usually have at least 2 kids, want to host at their home and split the costs 50/50. That really doesn't work for me. The two daycares in our area have long waitlists. Our next best hope is part-time preschool.

At this point i'm kind of at a loss. I can't afford to hire a nanny at $25-30/hr. I earn 6K/month after taxes and am paying 4K/month for childcare right now and am SO RESENTFUL to be giving up 2/3rds of my salary for someone to just keep my son alive and do the absolute bare minimum. We are not able to contribute as much as we'd like to savings or college funds because of childcare costs. I can't keep my son with a nanny who offers no stimulating fun for him and leaves me huge messes to clean up at the end of the day. I can't find a small, in-home daycare that can take him. My only other thought is maybe an au pair or quit my job. The issue is we have a small 3bedroom house and if we hired an au pair we would not have any privacy. We would likely need to sell our house and find a house with a basement bedroom and en-suite. I feel like I am in an impossible situation and maybe need to take a leave of absence from work to find childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are DMV rates higher than in NYC? Because there are plenty of better Nannie’s out there in nyc for $20- I just interviewed a bunch. Sure, you will have more options at $25 but $20-22 got me some really good candidates still.

NYC Nannie’s charge less and many of them want to be paid under the table:

Anonymous wrote:Are DMV rates higher than in NYC? Because there are plenty of better Nannie’s out there in nyc for $20- I just interviewed a bunch. Sure, you will have more options at $25 but $20-22 got me some really good candidates still.

Anonymous wrote:8 nannies in two years is an employer issue. The problem is you. My guess is it is both low pay and you are difficult to work for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re making bad economic decisions based on questionable medical advice. You should go back to your normal job and your full earning capacity. The rotavirus thing makes no sense - can’t he be vaccinated now? And rotavirus is not a death sentence anyway. You need a second opinion on daycare. Also you need to see childcare as your husband’s responsibility too. You are not paying for all the childcare, and you are not backup childcare.

Agree, plus all the other kids at a licensed, regulated daycare center will be vaccinated for rotavirus -- this is one instance where "herd immunity" really works. Same with measles, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the share option work for you? It seems like the best one so im not clear on the barrier.

Menu should she pay 50/50 when she has one kid and the other family has two?

she can always negotiate with the family. and anyway, 50-50 is better because it is very awkward if one nanny family pays more - you want to have equal relationships with the nanny. and some people prefer the share to be in someone else’s house. I know I did! I didn’t have to worry about keeping my house super clean, room for both babies, etc. The only downside is you have to schlep your kid to the other house, but it’s generally easier to find a nanny share partner close to you than a daycare. And of course with WFH, it’s much better to have the share in the other house!

Anonymous wrote:A couple issues at hand.

I took Humira throughout my pregnancy and my son could not receive live vaccines for the first year of life. He was not able to have rotavirus vaccine and is more susceptible to infection. His pediatrician discouraged us from daycare saying that was likely the only place he would pick up rotavirus and he would likely get very ill and need to be hospitalized. I took a paycut and a completely remote job so I could be close to my son if needed.

We went through 8 nannies in the first two years. A couple issues were our fault - we would hire without a contact or clear duties. We now have a nanny and have had her on/off for over a year. We pay her $20/hr for 40 hours/week plus sick and vacation leave. The issue is she is constantly late and shows up with coffee in hand. She feeds our son convenience meals that we keep for treats, (like frozen pizza, chicken nuggets), she will rarely prepare fresh food for him and if she does it's pickles or bananas. I have to constantly remind her to take him for a walk or to the park. I try to encourage her to take him to stimulating activities like the library or toddler classes but she just doesn't. The house is constantly a mess, I have to ask her every single day to clean up his toys at the end of the day. I have reminded and asked her multiple times to do what's in her contact, (please take Larlo to the park today, please wipe down Larlo's highchair, please don't feed him fruit snacks all day or let him just let him watch TV).

Do I throw out the chicken nuggets? Do I pull the plug on the TV so she can't turn it on during the day? I've been a little lax on the TV and letting the nanny let my son watch a bit of TV while she prepares lunch, but my son will just end up watching TV for 45+ minutes while he's supposedly "eating lunch."

We actually gave our nanny 2 paid days off last week to trial a new nanny but she caught COVID and will not be able to return for 2-3 weeks. We've looked at the pool of candidates for nannies and the pay is just out of our reach at $25-30/hr. The nannies we have interviewed at $20/hr seem barely better than our current nanny and do not come with CPR, First Aid proof of vaccination or 3 references.

We have also looked at nanny shares, the families we have encountered usually have at least 2 kids, want to host at their home and split the costs 50/50. That really doesn't work for me. The two daycares in our area have long waitlists. Our next best hope is part-time preschool.

At this point i'm kind of at a loss. I can't afford to hire a nanny at $25-30/hr. I earn 6K/month after taxes and am paying 4K/month for childcare right now and am SO RESENTFUL to be giving up 2/3rds of my salary for someone to just keep my son alive and do the absolute bare minimum. We are not able to contribute as much as we'd like to savings or college funds because of childcare costs. I can't keep my son with a nanny who offers no stimulating fun for him and leaves me huge messes to clean up at the end of the day. I can't find a small, in-home daycare that can take him. My only other thought is maybe an au pair or quit my job. The issue is we have a small 3bedroom house and if we hired an au pair we would not have any privacy. We would likely need to sell our house and find a house with a basement bedroom and en-suite. I feel like I am in an impossible situation and maybe need to take a leave of absence from work to find childcare.