Anonymous
Post 08/03/2022 11:06     Subject: Re:How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like his high school may have underprepared him so he's playing catch up. I attended an engineering school and freshman year really showed who had attended a rigorous high school. Those kids had it easy because they already knew more of the content. That changed sophomore year when you saw more of aptitude. The kids who worked hard and were smart excelled. Those who just had a leg up based on prior preparation peaked and sunk toward the middle.



This was exactly my experience at Mudd. Many of the freshmen were completely shocked at how poorly their high schools prepared them. They were not used to working hard - school always came easy to them. All of these kids were very smart and they still had to work hard. Nobody was so smart they could just "coast with minimal effort" as in high school.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2022 11:03     Subject: Re:How does your child manage time in college?
I went to Harvey Mudd and everyone there studied 50 hours a week or more just to keep up. Yeah, it was hard. Nobody dated, nobody played an instrument or did a sport. Down time was playing pool or video games in the student union, or going to a movie on the weekend.

"I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else." -- Leave him alone. He will decide for himself. Plenty of people drop out of tough STEM programs because they decide it isn't right for them. There was significant attrition at Mudd when I was there.

"How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?" -- THEY DON'T. THEY STUDY ALL THE TIME.

Anonymous
Post 08/03/2022 10:16     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
You sound like a healthy family because you seek life balance over the single minded pursuit of prestige. Your child is lucky to have such role models.

Did he just squeak into GT? I am curious because when people pull EVERY string (tutors/college consultants/multiple SAT retakes/etc) to get their kid into a reach, I wonder if they are setting them up for failure. It is hard to be the kid who is a bit underqualified compared to your peers.

This may or may not apply to OP's son...but I came on to applaud the family's attention to balance. That will serve him and his eventual family well for a lifetime.
Anonymous
Post 08/02/2022 11:34     Subject: Re:How does your child manage time in college?
OP here. I am very happy to report that he decided not to go back to GT and will start his 2nd year @GMU in CS major on 08/22/2022. He was very happy during the summer break and got to do everything that he enjoyed such as traveling, music, sports, dating, etc...
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 14:12     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea. They handle it. One of my kids was majoring in chem and minoring in music. Another majored in legal studies and minored in creative writing.

No, college kids don't have as much time to "play" as they did in high school. This should not be a shock to a college student or their parent.


Times have changed, I guess. I felt like I played way more in college than I did in high school. Probably that's because "regular life" felt more like playing -- for example, eating dinner in the college cafeteria with other kids my age felt more like playing than eating dinner at home with my parents during high school.


Agree. I had lots of free time in college. Your sons experience sounds miserable, OP. What does HE want to do?


OP here.  He is not sure if he wants to go back to GT but he still wants to major in CS.  He will be home this weekend, and has a week to unwind.  After that, he will be volunteering 8am-6pm at the soup kitchens and delivering meals to people in need for the entire summer.  He also signed up to drive less fortunate people on weekends to local dental offices that offer free dental care services.  

He is also looking at transferring to GMU or VT as possible destinations. I don't care where he ends up, I just want my happy DS back.


GT CS is amazing!! He should try to stick it out.


It may be amazing in the abstract but not an amazing fit for one particular student.


And certainly not worth it if her kid is struggling. Mental health should be priority number 1. A CS degree from GMU will still garner $100k+ job offers. I'd rather my kid be happy and healthy than have a degree from a specific school. Her DS is struggling for whatever reason, if he'd be happier at a slightly less rigorous school or one closer to home, or whatever reason, then he should focus on that. In 5 years, he will still be a College grad with a CS degree and employed with a great job. But that might not happen if he continues to struggle at GT and has a mental breakdown or worse
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 14:09     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Spring semester will be done in a few days and DS is really struggling with his freshman year at Geprge Tech majoring in Computer Science.  He takes 16 credits in Falls and Spring semester.  In HS, he spent about 2 1/2 hours a day studying so he had lot of times to play piano, guitar, and saxophone.  On weekends, he didn't study and spent most of his time with sports and music activities.  

At George Tech, he spends at least 50 hours outside of the classroom studying just to keep up, and he is still struggling.  He neither has time to date or any other activities, has not touched his guitar and saxphone in months.  He hasn't been to the golf course except during the Christmas break.  He even had to study during Spring break just to keep up.  He said that CS is so hard here.  He is barely keeping his head above water.  He is just now a shell of himself.  I am seriously considering of pulling him out GT so that he can attend somewhere else.  At this point, I don't know where.

How do people major in CS at Georgia Tech or other places have time for other activities besides studying all the time?  Love to hear what you have to say.



Most freshman do take 15-16 credits if they want to finish in 4 years. That is the norm everywhere. Also, if you only take 12 credits and you struggle in a course, then you literally cannot drop it without becoming a part time student, and that has major financial aid implications (bad implications). IMO, it's better to take 15 credits but pick your load to not overwhelm yourself (which can be challenging in a STEM field).

So my freshman can take Biology 101 and Org Chem fall of freshman year, along with Calc 3, Intro to XXX Engineering and a Core curriculum or Required Writing course. This is all due to AP credits. Well for the other engineering minor my kid wants, they need Bio101/102 to happen freshman year or they likely wont finish in 4 years due to the sequencing and prereqs for courses. So they have decided that adding org chem to the mix freshman year would not be a smart academic decision and will put that off until sophomore year and make sure they adjust well to college. As it is, they will still have an extremely challenging schedule, because they have AP credits for Cal 1/2 and Chem. While there's a good chance they could do the org chem freshman year and succeed, it seems a bit overkill and possibly setting themselves up for too much stress, so they wont do it, as everyone knows that Org chem is one of the hardest courses around.



He shouldn't be taking 16 credits/ semester. Maybe there are one or two semesters in college you can do that, but Freshman year it should be 12 to start, get an understanding of the work load and after-class time commitment, and get good grades. It's too late to fix the real problem, but he can dial it back sophomore year.

That said, "he only golfs on breaks" is not the sad story you think it is.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 14:06     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Take fewer classes? Finish in 5 or 6 years?

Does he want the CS major?
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 14:00     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea. They handle it. One of my kids was majoring in chem and minoring in music. Another majored in legal studies and minored in creative writing.

No, college kids don't have as much time to "play" as they did in high school. This should not be a shock to a college student or their parent.


Times have changed, I guess. I felt like I played way more in college than I did in high school. Probably that's because "regular life" felt more like playing -- for example, eating dinner in the college cafeteria with other kids my age felt more like playing than eating dinner at home with my parents during high school.


Agree. I had lots of free time in college. Your sons experience sounds miserable, OP. What does HE want to do?


OP here.  He is not sure if he wants to go back to GT but he still wants to major in CS.  He will be home this weekend, and has a week to unwind.  After that, he will be volunteering 8am-6pm at the soup kitchens and delivering meals to people in need for the entire summer.  He also signed up to drive less fortunate people on weekends to local dental offices that offer free dental care services.  

He is also looking at transferring to GMU or VT as possible destinations. I don't care where he ends up, I just want my happy DS back.


Sounds like transferring might be the best thing for him. As a CS major, he will go far and it DOES NOT matter where he gets the degree. However, it does matter that he his healthy (mentally and phsyically) and is happy with life. that matters much much more than attending an higher ranked college. With CS, he can attend anywhere and will still go far in life. You are so right to want your happy DS back---much more important than anything else
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 13:58     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:My DD has really been struggling with premed at a top10. She is now finishing her JR year. She has a 3.2. She has taken courses and labs for the last 2 summers. I have offered to her numerous times that is she wants to drop to 3 classes from 4 for any semester that is ok with us. We are paying which is why I say 'ok with us'.

All you can do is give your son options. Good luck OP. It's hard to watch our kids struggle.


An example of why if you are premed, it might be better to go to a slightly lower ranked school where your kid can be the "star" and not struggle to get a good GPA. Med schools look at MCATs and GPAs as a first indicator whether you make the cut for further evaluation. Don't know many with a 3.2 gpa that get into med school easily. But if you attend a school where the avg sat is 1550 and gpa is 4.5, odds are someone is gonna get B's in classes and most of those kids were not B students in HS. Whereas, attend a school where avg sat is 1400 and gpa is 3.8, you might have better chance at getting As and ultimately higher gpa
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 11:38     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:Most of my kids' time is taken up by her really tough Core classes, namely Tik Tok, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and YouTube.

Leaves very little time for eating, sleeping, showering etc. Her college life is really stressful right now but she chose to go to an elite school, so what can we say? It's a learning and growing experience.


haha are you me?

I can't say mine managed her time well this past freshman year, and her GPA suffered as a result. Praying when she goes back, she will have a better handle on it, mostly because she changed from pre-med and is finally taking classes she enjoys and is interested in. That makes a huge difference. She is also in an apartment now and not sharing a tiny dorm room with someone who slept all day and got angry when the lights were turned on at 2PM, and who was also always sick and making DD sick.

I like the advice PP gave about not going back between classes, that's what I've tried to tell my kids, to varied success. My DD didn't find herself in the library until the first day of studying for final exams this past May - because a friend dragged her.

My DS did manage his time well. He never procrastinated his work, everything was done well in advance of being due and he maintained a 4.0 all freshman year. Good stuff habits that apparently his sister did not inherit.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 10:17     Subject: Re:How does your child manage time in college?
I gave DD the same advice I was given: do not go back to your dorm between classes. DD found a quiet study room and studies between all her classes before and after lunch. She doesn’t go back to the firm or see her friends (aside from lunch) until 5PM. After dinner she sets a study schedule of two hours. She takes Friday evening and all day Saturday off. Sundays she squirrels away out if the dorm and studies all day. She’s an architecture major at a top 10 school and had a 3.8 freshman year.

She also told me she goes over her notes from classes immediately after.

I wish your son good luck!
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 09:39     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea. They handle it. One of my kids was majoring in chem and minoring in music. Another majored in legal studies and minored in creative writing.

No, college kids don't have as much time to "play" as they did in high school. This should not be a shock to a college student or their parent.


Times have changed, I guess. I felt like I played way more in college than I did in high school. Probably that's because "regular life" felt more like playing -- for example, eating dinner in the college cafeteria with other kids my age felt more like playing than eating dinner at home with my parents during high school.


Agree. I had lots of free time in college. Your sons experience sounds miserable, OP. What does HE want to do?


OP here.  He is not sure if he wants to go back to GT but he still wants to major in CS.  He will be home this weekend, and has a week to unwind.  After that, he will be volunteering 8am-6pm at the soup kitchens and delivering meals to people in need for the entire summer.  He also signed up to drive less fortunate people on weekends to local dental offices that offer free dental care services.  

He is also looking at transferring to GMU or VT as possible destinations. I don't care where he ends up, I just want my happy DS back.


GT CS is amazing!! He should try to stick it out.


It may be amazing in the abstract but not an amazing fit for one particular student.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 09:36     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Most of my kids' time is taken up by her really tough Core classes, namely Tik Tok, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and YouTube.

Leaves very little time for eating, sleeping, showering etc. Her college life is really stressful right now but she chose to go to an elite school, so what can we say? It's a learning and growing experience.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2022 20:24     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no idea. They handle it. One of my kids was majoring in chem and minoring in music. Another majored in legal studies and minored in creative writing.

No, college kids don't have as much time to "play" as they did in high school. This should not be a shock to a college student or their parent.


Times have changed, I guess. I felt like I played way more in college than I did in high school. Probably that's because "regular life" felt more like playing -- for example, eating dinner in the college cafeteria with other kids my age felt more like playing than eating dinner at home with my parents during high school.


Agree. I had lots of free time in college. Your sons experience sounds miserable, OP. What does HE want to do?


OP here.  He is not sure if he wants to go back to GT but he still wants to major in CS.  He will be home this weekend, and has a week to unwind.  After that, he will be volunteering 8am-6pm at the soup kitchens and delivering meals to people in need for the entire summer.  He also signed up to drive less fortunate people on weekends to local dental offices that offer free dental care services.  

He is also looking at transferring to GMU or VT as possible destinations. I don't care where he ends up, I just want my happy DS back.


GT CS is amazing!! He should try to stick it out.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2022 20:14     Subject: How does your child manage time in college?
Anonymous wrote:My DD has really been struggling with premed at a top10. She is now finishing her JR year. She has a 3.2. She has taken courses and labs for the last 2 summers. I have offered to her numerous times that is she wants to drop to 3 classes from 4 for any semester that is ok with us. We are paying which is why I say 'ok with us'.

All you can do is give your son options. Good luck OP. It's hard to watch our kids struggle.


Has she done any of the activities that medical schools want to see on applications, like research, volunteering in a hospital and scribing? What was her SAT? Has she started studying for the MCAT? If not I assume she’s planning on gap years for those activities? If she hasn’t done any of that, had a sub-1500 SAT and with that GPA, I would urge her to take advantage of her college’s recruiting office this for jobs after senior year unless she is still 110 percent sure about medical school.