Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 17:11     Subject: Re:Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
1) covid issues made it hard for people to plan weddings for so long that they have huge backlogs now and it’s very difficult to find a venue for the date you want
2) some venues only do weddings at certain times and if she wanted this summer perhaps the august date was the only one she could get
3) if she’s never had a baby before she likely doesn’t really think about how a very pregnant woman or brand new mom would feel about attending a wedding

However, we don’t know her obviously and don’t know what your relationship w her is like. It’s totally possible she did plan it to intentionally leave you out. It’s also very possible that it’s options 1-3 above and has nothing to do w you.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 17:07     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?


She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?


He is her closest and fondest family member yet didn’t know of the date until he got the wedding invite in the mail??? Something doesn’t add up. Obviously, they can’t be that close if she never shared the wedding date before that. Regardless, your due date is your due date and you may deliver late. Or (G-d forbid), there may be some reason that you or the baby need medical attention (btdt so I never assume everything will always go smoothly). He can tell his sister he can try to attend but he has to see how things are going with you (bc you are top priority and I don’t see how he can go). I certainly hope you will have plenty of help while he is 6 hours away. It isn’t as if he can just go to the ceremony and be back home in 30 minutes while you and the baby take a quick nap! Imo, he needs to skip this. Your sil did nothing wrong in picking the date - as others said, it was probably picked before she knew you were pregnant but your dh really shouldn’t go.


If things are fine with you closer to the wedding date, let your DH go to the wedding. Have a trusted friend or family member stay with you while he is gone. He should drive there early AM, go to the wedding and drive back the next morning. Don't make this a big deal if it doesn't have to be.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:57     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?


She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?


He is her closest and fondest family member yet didn’t know of the date until he got the wedding invite in the mail??? Something doesn’t add up. Obviously, they can’t be that close if she never shared the wedding date before that. Regardless, your due date is your due date and you may deliver late. Or (G-d forbid), there may be some reason that you or the baby need medical attention (btdt so I never assume everything will always go smoothly). He can tell his sister he can try to attend but he has to see how things are going with you (bc you are top priority and I don’t see how he can go). I certainly hope you will have plenty of help while he is 6 hours away. It isn’t as if he can just go to the ceremony and be back home in 30 minutes while you and the baby take a quick nap! Imo, he needs to skip this. Your sil did nothing wrong in picking the date - as others said, it was probably picked before she knew you were pregnant but your dh really shouldn’t go.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:44     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Also, women who have not had children have no idea what it is like to give birth, recover, nurse, lack of sleep, hormones. I know I didn’t. Someone might think they understand from a book, watching a friend, being a nurse - if she thought about it at all I am sure she just thought you’d now have the baby with you. Try and let this go!
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:40     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


Or, that which may be explained by factors of which you're unaware.

or by things beyond the bride's control

or by dynamics on the side of the groom.

or by a myriad other things that have nothing to do with you at all.

Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:13     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe that was the only date available? August isn't exactly a popular month? That is pretty crappy that she'd plan a wedding when her own brother can't come though. Is he not close to her?


She is always saying that he is her closest and fondest family member. I really can't fathom that she wouldn't want him to come, so the alternative is that she wants him to come but not me...?


So maybe she's just clueless? Kind of sounds like it.


She's not clueless, on the contrary, she is a METICULOUS and savvy planner - much better planner than DH or I.


Maybe she's pregnant as well !
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:12     Subject: Re:Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:NP- OP’s husband already talked to his sister, told her baby will be on/around the date, and confirmed he’d go to the wedding with their older child. Pick it up from here folks…


I think that’s too close to the due date and he should not plan to go to the wedding whether the baby has arrived or not. Who plans to leave their 3-day old and the new mom unless it’s a true emergency?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:08     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Everything is so crazy because of all the weddings postponed for Covid. I’ve heard of people going to weddings on Sunday and Thursday evening recently.

I am guessing she had her heart set on a specific venue or photographer and this is what she could get. Also most wedding things are booked 12+ months in advance- we’ll before you would have announced your due date.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:08     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Maybe SIL is pregnant too??
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:05     Subject: Re:Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
NP- OP’s husband already talked to his sister, told her baby will be on/around the date, and confirmed he’d go to the wedding with their older child. Pick it up from here folks…
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:05     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her specifically what your due date was? Do you have conversations with her?


Not very often, but yes, we told her the due date. It's possible she just forgot?


Yes. She is planning her wedding. The fact that you didn't know the date of the wedding until you got the invitation in the mail indicates that YOUR due date was not on her mind.

Sorry, but unless she already has kids this is just not something a woman without kids is going to think about.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 16:00     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Would two weeks before your due date be better? Two weeks after? How long of a period should she have blocked out due to your impending birth? Maybe six months?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 15:56     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Hw about you don't consider it a slight
and only go if you can
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 15:51     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


This is my life motto.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 15:51     Subject: Coincidence or not? Wedding date right near due date
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Might be the only date available that works for their venue and the majority of the party. We also chose a wedding date out of desperation that probably interfered with other family life events based on our work schedules and availability.


There’s still a backlog of Covid brides out there. I’d assume this is what was available and your due date was not etched in her mind.


So, at work, we are trying to find a date for an in-person kind of thing, bringing us all back together. Venues are jam packed. They are booked and charging premiums. My guess is that your SIL took the best option. It's also true that many people when they get married, are only thinking of their wedding and not everyone's schedules. It's also also true that many people who are pregnant, are only thinking of their own baby and due date and not everyone's life and schedules.