I have a lot of extended family for whom this is true. I’ve occasionally just sent some of them cash with no note or return address because I know how meaningful it is for them. I’m just as likely to blow $500 or $1000 on a bottle of wine or something I found on eBay, so it feels good. And doesn’t mean much to us financially.

If you can afford it, and the friend is an actual friend, I’d do it. Not because the friend deserves it or because I support their choices, but because I love my friends and can help.

OTOH I did NOT invest $15k in my sister’s most recent “invention” when she asked. That starts to feel like real money and the invention was really dumb.

We know a lot of people who don't have access to $500. I see GoFundMe requests at least every month on FB. And most of our family have asked for or accepted (offered) money from us at one point or another.

Our rule is never to loan money. If the cause isn't sufficiently compelling that we wish to give the money outright, we say no.

Anonymous wrote:I unexpectedly owed 6k on my taxes this year (was thinking maybe 1-2k, but 6k was a surprise). I could handle the bill just fine, it was mostly a nuisance. This made me realize how lucky I am. 10 years ago in my early 20’s this was my entire savings.

I found a piece of paper where, 20 years ago, I had written my wildest dreams and goals. One was to have $3000 in the bank - it seemed like such a fantasy.

Now I have $30k in my emergency fund and sometimes it still takes my breath away how lucky I am. May we never forget.

I unexpectedly owed 6k on my taxes this year (was thinking maybe 1-2k, but 6k was a surprise). I could handle the bill just fine, it was mostly a nuisance. This made me realize how lucky I am. 10 years ago in my early 20’s this was my entire savings.

This was me, in my 20’s, and I have lots of family who are living paycheck to paycheck, but I have never had anyone ask me for money.

When I came into some $$, I gave a chunk of it to my sibling, who had been ill and on disability and had gotten into debt. They didn’t ask — another family member let me know about their situation. I just sent a check, because I knew if I asked if they needed it, they would say no. They paid it back, with interest, when their situation improved (which I didn’t expect).

It is also not unusual for family to take in other family members when they need a place to stay. But that is different from, “Hey, I need $500 bucks” on a regular basis. That would be met with mild disbelief.

Anonymous wrote:My friend who is a single mother and a nurse might not have that much cash in the bank. She works two shifts a week and probably lives paycheck to paycheck. She leaves the kids home alone on weekends and picks up extra shifts when the kids stay home. Somebody has to pick up the kids from school.
There is no father before you ask. She also doesn't care enough about money and finances to know that she can take $500 from her credit cards.
I have taken $40k from my credit cards, so yes, I'd know where to get $500 if I need to.

She might be wise enough to know that she’s not in the position to take on credit card debt.

My friend who is a single mother and a nurse might not have that much cash in the bank. She works two shifts a week and probably lives paycheck to paycheck. She leaves the kids home alone on weekends and picks up extra shifts when the kids stay home. Somebody has to pick up the kids from school.
There is no father before you ask. She also doesn't care enough about money and finances to know that she can take $500 from her credit cards.
I have taken $40k from my credit cards, so yes, I'd know where to get $500 if I need to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

OP here,
Dh and I are 32 and 35 years old, same as the friend that keeps asking to borrow money on a regular basis, this time it was for a copay for a surgery he knew he needed a few months ago, and didn't plan how to pay for it.Dh and I grow up in Alexandria, same neighborhood and college. This friend doesn't know how to save his money period. I refused to accommodate his lifestyle, smoking and drinking but no savings.

I agree with you, OP. There are a lot of people out there who refuse to be frugal, cut spending, and find it easier to mooch off of others while making excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

DP.. to me, some of the "millions of people" are in the situation that they are in due to their own making. They refuse to save and cut spending.

Yes, millions can't afford healthcare. That's a shameful indictment of the healthcare system in this country. But,we aren't talking about a $6000 medical bill here.

My BIL is in the military and his wife is a teacher. They have two kids. They live in a modest house. They coupon. They drive old cars. They go camping for vacations. And they keep trying to get a $500 emergency fund saved up, and when it gets up to $400 or so it keeps getting spent on something like a car repair or a trip to the ER.

I am sure some people don’t have an extra $500 to deal with an emergency, but you can safely assume that’s the exception and not the rule. Remember that the minimum wage is $7.25.

I don't know about $500, but 56% of people don't have $1000 for emergencies. So, in that regard, it's not the exception.

Places that have a $7.25 minimum wage also tend to have lower col. But, maybe Rs should fight for higher minimum wages.

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

OP here,
Dh and I are 32 and 35 years old, same as the friend that keeps asking to borrow money on a regular basis, this time it was for a copay for a surgery he knew he needed a few months ago, and didn't plan how to pay for it.Dh and I grow up in Alexandria, same neighborhood and college. This friend doesn't know how to save his money period. I refused to accommodate his lifestyle, smoking and drinking but no savings.

Anonymous wrote:In my 20s I lived paycheck to paycheck, now in my 40's and in a much better situation thankfully.

I remember those days too. Going to the grocery store and having to add everything up before going to the cashier. Paying bills with a credit card from time to time. Thankful I am no longer in that position.

Anonymous wrote:In my 20s I lived paycheck to paycheck, now in my 40's and in a much better situation thankfully.

+1 Only recently was I able to save enough for a small emergency fund.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

DP.. to me, some of the "millions of people" are in the situation that they are in due to their own making. They refuse to save and cut spending.

Yes, millions can't afford healthcare. That's a shameful indictment of the healthcare system in this country. But,we aren't talking about a $6000 medical bill here.

My BIL is in the military and his wife is a teacher. They have two kids. They live in a modest house. They coupon. They drive old cars. They go camping for vacations. And they keep trying to get a $500 emergency fund saved up, and when it gets up to $400 or so it keeps getting spent on something like a car repair or a trip to the ER.

I am sure some people don’t have an extra $500 to deal with an emergency, but you can safely assume that’s the exception and not the rule. Remember that the minimum wage is $7.25.

In my 20s I lived paycheck to paycheck, now in my 40's and in a much better situation thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to make a decision as a family that you won't lend the money to your friends. It's entirely different to come on here to ask such a moronic and tone deaf question. Millions of people don't have any savings. Millions of people don't have healthcare. Millions of people live paycheck to paycheck.

+2

OP- do you feel superior now?

DP.. to me, some of the "millions of people" are in the situation that they are in due to their own making. They refuse to save and cut spending.

Yes, millions can't afford healthcare. That's a shameful indictment of the healthcare system in this country. But,we aren't talking about a $6000 medical bill here.

You don't know what the $500 was for. OP chose not to share the reason, just that she isn't helping and she shames people who don't have those resources.

sure, but it's not $6000.

I'm a PP whose parents are uneducate immigrants... my parents and every single one of my sibling has more than $500 in emergency savings, and not all of us have a college education.

I know some of my cousins don't have an extra $500, and it's largely their own fault. I can understand if you are really young, just starting out in life, come from a poor background with little parental support, had health issues, etc.. but if you are older (late 20s+), been working for a while without any major health issues, not a single parent, it's hard to understand why you had such a tough time saving $500.

We don't know how old the friend is, so sure, maybe he's really young and comes from a broken home. But, for many of those who have been working for a while without some of those issues and still don't have $500 saved, I would ask why?