Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 12:25     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Why wouldn’t you just put them in camps or something? 13 is the age when I knew kids started looking at porn and smoking pot and this was in the 90s. There’s so much awful stuff going on now with kids and phones I don’t think such long chunks of unsupervised time is a good idea. And not really fair to either kid to make one watch the other for the whole summer. Bite the bullet and pay for some camps or a college student with a car who will take them places and keep them occupied and at least out of trouble.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 10:16     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.


This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.


OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.


If you already did this last year, why are you asking for this year?


because I wasn't asking about leaving them alone a few hours in the afternoon. I have no issue doing this and trust them as this is typically their down time between activities and it feels silly to pay a sitter to watch them as they chill out watching TV or playing video games.

My initial question was at what age do I stop hiring a sitter all together. At what age is the older one old enough to be in charge of the younger one (2.5 yr age difference) and I can just leave them alone? Even now I pretty much hire a sitter to drive them a mile to swim/dive practice and do nothing while they are swimming and diving. Then come home and feed them lunch. Sitter will also take them to movie or out on rainy days.


Thanks for clarifying. Honestly didn’t get that this was your real question. I would hire the sitter for another summer and reevaluate next spring. I think going from 10 to 11 (for your youngest) is a big year for general maturity about being left alone (granted, with sibling).


We will definitely have a sitter this summer. I was thinking ahead and wondering when people stop having sitters. It's not even like there are a lot of camp options for 13 yr olds.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 10:06     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: I don't love them playing outside with friends when there is no adult around in the case of an emergency.

Let me guess - this will translate to their playing video games at home instead? OP can you see how problematic this is from an individual and societal standpoint?[/qu

They have activities most of the morning and just about every evening. they are by no means just staring at screens 8 hours a day. During the school year they only get screens on weekend. I assure you I am not raising basement dwelling, antisocial kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 08:38     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote: I don't love them playing outside with friends when there is no adult around in the case of an emergency.

Let me guess - this will translate to their playing video games at home instead? OP can you see how problematic this is from an individual and societal standpoint?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 08:34     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Being alone from 2-5pm is fine. It's the hottest part of the day in the summer so they'll be inside. Let them get their screen time fix then, assign some light chores (empty dishwasher, switch out laundry, etc), and roll with it. It's summer time after all.

Tell your boys you're trusting them, show me you can do this, -type speech so they know the expectations.

Presumably, your boys are good kids. They can be aline for that stretch of the day.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 08:26     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:At what age do you leave kids home alone all summer?

I have 2 boys, 10 and almost 13. We have always had a summer sitter to take kids to swim practice, make lunch, hang out at home, go to movies on a rainy day and so forth. Pool is only a mile from home and the kids can bike there.

With Covid we have left them home alone a good amount the past 2 years but not every day for 7 weeks. I don't love them playing outside with friends when there is no adult around in the case of an emergency. We both work outside the home about 30 min away.

I am planning to have a sitter for part of the day this summer to cover swim practice and lunch. Then just have them stay alone from 2-5ish.

At what point do I just have the older one watch the younger one? I was babysitting at 12 but my kid feels less mature.


I would not have an issue with this plan as long as your boys get along and the younger one will follow older ones instructions in case of emergency or something.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 08:23     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.


This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.


OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.


If you already did this last year, why are you asking for this year?


because I wasn't asking about leaving them alone a few hours in the afternoon. I have no issue doing this and trust them as this is typically their down time between activities and it feels silly to pay a sitter to watch them as they chill out watching TV or playing video games.

My initial question was at what age do I stop hiring a sitter all together. At what age is the older one old enough to be in charge of the younger one (2.5 yr age difference) and I can just leave them alone? Even now I pretty much hire a sitter to drive them a mile to swim/dive practice and do nothing while they are swimming and diving. Then come home and feed them lunch. Sitter will also take them to movie or out on rainy days.


Thanks for clarifying. Honestly didn’t get that this was your real question. I would hire the sitter for another summer and reevaluate next spring. I think going from 10 to 11 (for your youngest) is a big year for general maturity about being left alone (granted, with sibling).
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 07:11     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.


Wow talk about overscheduled helicoptering
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 07:08     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.


This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.


OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.


If you already did this last year, why are you asking for this year?


because I wasn't asking about leaving them alone a few hours in the afternoon. I have no issue doing this and trust them as this is typically their down time between activities and it feels silly to pay a sitter to watch them as they chill out watching TV or playing video games.

My initial question was at what age do I stop hiring a sitter all together. At what age is the older one old enough to be in charge of the younger one (2.5 yr age difference) and I can just leave them alone? Even now I pretty much hire a sitter to drive them a mile to swim/dive practice and do nothing while they are swimming and diving. Then come home and feed them lunch. Sitter will also take them to movie or out on rainy days.


It's a moot issue because by the time they're old enough to manage their own summer, they won't be doing swim team anymore. They'll have jobs, classes, volunteer jobs, or similar stuff taking them out of the house, so they won't be home all day. Older kids do not have 3-plus hours to watch TV during the day, they're busy. (Maybe at night they watch).

I don't think it's terrible to use TV as a babysitter but at some point it's likely they get bored and do things they shouldn't.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2022 03:21     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.



Lol. That's what I did nearly every summer of my childhood. I went to camp for two weeks but that's it. That was a big financial sacrifice but my mom made it happen. I slept in, watch The Price is Right at 11am, went to the pool in the afternoons. I read my summer reading books, walked to the library, got a snowball, etc. It was the best!


My childhood summers as well from like 7-18. I had lots of siblings and all we did all day every day was watch tv and swim in our pool. I am crazy about screen time and drowning with my current kid, so while these are totally positive memories for me about summer, I would never do this with my own kid.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 08:36     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.


This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.


OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.


If you already did this last year, why are you asking for this year?


because I wasn't asking about leaving them alone a few hours in the afternoon. I have no issue doing this and trust them as this is typically their down time between activities and it feels silly to pay a sitter to watch them as they chill out watching TV or playing video games.

My initial question was at what age do I stop hiring a sitter all together. At what age is the older one old enough to be in charge of the younger one (2.5 yr age difference) and I can just leave them alone? Even now I pretty much hire a sitter to drive them a mile to swim/dive practice and do nothing while they are swimming and diving. Then come home and feed them lunch. Sitter will also take them to movie or out on rainy days.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 08:27     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really, OP, what you're talking about doing is having the older one being responsible for the younger one for three hours a day for the whole summer. And that's not cool. He's your responsibility, not his brother's.


This, unless he agrees to it and you pay him.


OP here we did this last summer. Sitter would leave around 2. So they were home for a few hours. By that time of day they are tired from being at the pool most of the day and just want to chill. Younger one watches TV while older one plays some video games. It's not like the older one is really "watching" his sibling.


If you already did this last year, why are you asking for this year?
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 08:22     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.


so at what age do you leave kids home without a sitter in the summer?


Depends on the kid, not the season, but they aren’t staying home all day,, multiple days in a row, ever.


so at 16 you still hire a sitter for kids? I mean at some point "kids" are left home alone. when is that point? Guidelines posted above suggest after age 13.


No, but I don't leave them home alone ALL DAY for MULTIPLE DAYS IN A ROW. Can't you see that? I said it twice.


I am not leaving town for the month, just going to work from 8-4.

So full-time working parent with a 16 yr old should hire a sitter so they aren't home alone from 8-4 during the summer?

Seriously question, at what age do kids not have a sitter in the summer?


16, when they can drive and have a full time job.

You want your kids watching Tv every afternoon for 3 hours a day all summer? Really?? Hire a full time sitter or put them in camps. At 14 or 15 they can be counselors in training. Even at 16, I certainly hope you wouldn’t just let your kid sit around all day.


Honestly, I have no issue with them watching TV/vegging out a few hours a day. God I spent my entire summer watching TV and hanging out at home. They are on swim and dive team and active all morning from 8:15-noon. Then they have meets and another activities multiple evenings during the week. So no concerns with them watching tv or playing video games a few hours a day.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 08:17     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.


so at what age do you leave kids home without a sitter in the summer?


Depends on the kid, not the season, but they aren’t staying home all day,, multiple days in a row, ever.


so at 16 you still hire a sitter for kids? I mean at some point "kids" are left home alone. when is that point? Guidelines posted above suggest after age 13.


No, but I don't leave them home alone ALL DAY for MULTIPLE DAYS IN A ROW. Can't you see that? I said it twice.


I am not leaving town for the month, just going to work from 8-4. So full-time working parent with a 16 yr old should hire a sitter so they aren't home alone from 8-4 during the summer? Seriously question, at what age do kids not have a sitter in the summer?


I can't believe how dense you are. My kids are not allowed to stay home all day, all summer. They need to be doing something. Camp, work, summer school, some combo of the three. A full-time working parent with a 16 year old should have pushed that kid to get a job by the time they were 14.


and I can't believe what an rude *ss you are your reading comprehension also blows.

My kids don't' sit around 8 hours a day. I have said multiple time that they have swim practice in the morning. they are usually out of the house at the pool from 8:15-noon.

When the older one is old enough he will volunteer with swim team and eventually lifeguard and work at the pool, but that is a few years away and even then kids aren't usually working 40 hr a week and some of those hours are in the evening which still leave then alone part of the day. By your logic s 16 yr old can be trusted to be a camp counselor but can't be trusted dot be home alone for more than a few hours. I really hope I raise kids I can trust more than that.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2022 06:25     Subject: Kids home alone in summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Basically never. They are not allowed to do nothing for huge chunks of time. A day or two here or there? Sure. But for weeks on end? No.


so at what age do you leave kids home without a sitter in the summer?


Depends on the kid, not the season, but they aren’t staying home all day,, multiple days in a row, ever.


so at 16 you still hire a sitter for kids? I mean at some point "kids" are left home alone. when is that point? Guidelines posted above suggest after age 13.


No, but I don't leave them home alone ALL DAY for MULTIPLE DAYS IN A ROW. Can't you see that? I said it twice.


I am not leaving town for the month, just going to work from 8-4.

So full-time working parent with a 16 yr old should hire a sitter so they aren't home alone from 8-4 during the summer?

Seriously question, at what age do kids not have a sitter in the summer?


16, when they can drive and have a full time job.

You want your kids watching Tv every afternoon for 3 hours a day all summer? Really?? Hire a full time sitter or put them in camps. At 14 or 15 they can be counselors in training. Even at 16, I certainly hope you wouldn’t just let your kid sit around all day.


In VA (where OP lives) you have to be 15.5 to get your permit and then 9 months later you can get your license--so in VA you actually have to be 16.25. OP mentioned her kid would be 13 soon--so I'm guessing he has a May or June birthday. So in a few years, OP's kid won't be eligible for his license until the end of summer (August or September) and that's only IF he got his permit as soon as he turned 15.5.

And not every kid gets his own car.