Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who asked about why kids shouldn't aim high if they want to.

My DS made the choice of where to apply with the guidance of his college counselor and my husband and me (mostly to discuss costs). Again, I find it odd that many posters assume that any kid who applies to a T10 school must be being pressured by their parents to do so. He did not blanket the T10, but applied selectively to several schools that had the programs and the culture he was interested in. I absolutely agree that a kid who dreams of attending Brown, might not be so happy at Princeton, and if a kid applies to all T10 schools, it's likely more a prestige-grab than anything else.

My DS had the same experience as other posters. Rejected or WL by every single match (except UVA) and much better results at more selective schools. And, he had plenty of demonstrated interest at those matches.

Strange and difficult process. I'm glad it's finished.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FCPS has been a slog since my kid entered kindergarten. My own school days were happy and fun, but now it just seems like school is something to endure until graduation. The competition, emphasis on grades rather than the joy of learning, pandemic stress, etc. means that it’s doubtful that many will look back fondly on their school years.

It’s sad.

I don’t disagree, but there are equally stressful pressures elsewhere, culturally. If your kid was in the high school my ILs kids go to, they’d be stressing over not making the cheer team, making homecoming or prom queen, generally more drinking, stressing over freshman sorority rush, and also feeling pressured to find a husband (I’m not joking).

Good reality check.

We live in a bubble, but I prefer our bubble to what you describe!

Definately. And we live in a bubble where we can begin to make some changes. My own kid chose not to take AP Eng/History and stick to 7 AP STEMs and AP Psych (because it seemed fun and has a great teacher). Know what---the school my kid will be attending (and the 2nd choice as well) require you to take their version of Core curriculum at the university (Top 30 and top 40 schools). So the only reason my kid would have taken AP ENG/History was for college credit and to "boost college applications". Kid smartly decided to focus on what she loves (dance---15-25 hours/week) and taking 4 AP STEMS a year is enough (sleep needs to happen sometime). She has landed where she needs to be---yes, she had 2-3 "higher ranked"/more selective schools she was WL at or rejected, but ultimately she had a HS career doing what she loved, taking challenging classes in areas that actually interest her and she is still attending a GREAT university.

Would having taken 2-4 extra AP courses have helped her get into those 3 slightly more selective schools? Maybe, we will never actually know. What I do know is that my kid WOULD have been miserable and have only slept 2-3 hours each night (vs 5-6 hours)if she had taken those AP courses. She would have been incredibly stressed and had less time on weekends to socialize (what little socialization happened given covid was most of her HS experience). IMO, it would not have been worth it. She will succeed in life wherever she is, and she has still landed at a great university that was her 2nd choice from the moment she stepped foot on the campus (2nd only to her ED school).

So now I tell parents to let their kids select the courses they want, don't overload APs (unless your kid actually wants that and will still be able to function/sleep/socialize/etc). Burn your kid out in HS and they might get into your dream school but could easily burn out and be miserable at college. Keep the end goal in mind--which is to get a degree and be prepared for life.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who asked about why kids shouldn't aim high if they want to.

My DS made the choice of where to apply with the guidance of his college counselor and my husband and me (mostly to discuss costs). Again, I find it odd that many posters assume that any kid who applies to a T10 school must be being pressured by their parents to do so. He did not blanket the T10, but applied selectively to several schools that had the programs and the culture he was interested in. I absolutely agree that a kid who dreams of attending Brown, might not be so happy at Princeton, and if a kid applies to all T10 schools, it's likely more a prestige-grab than anything else.

My DS had the same experience as other posters. Rejected or WL by every single match (except UVA) and much better results at more selective schools. And, he had plenty of demonstrated interest at those matches.

Strange and difficult process. I'm glad it's finished.

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FCPS has been a slog since my kid entered kindergarten. My own school days were happy and fun, but now it just seems like school is something to endure until graduation. The competition, emphasis on grades rather than the joy of learning, pandemic stress, etc. means that it’s doubtful that many will look back fondly on their school years.

It’s sad.

I don’t disagree, but there are equally stressful pressures elsewhere, culturally. If your kid was in the high school my ILs kids go to, they’d be stressing over not making the cheer team, making homecoming or prom queen, generally more drinking, stressing over freshman sorority rush, and also feeling pressured to find a husband (I’m not joking).

Good reality check.

We live in a bubble, but I prefer our bubble to what you describe!

Anonymous wrote:OP here, largely toxic adults. Every time we see a friend, they will say things like DC is Harvard bound. Even though we know there is very little chance (almost perfect stat, national awards, incredible ECs, leadership). I just want it cut all those adults out of our lives. Those sad puppy words that they are sorry. I mean why? DC will be going to a great school and we are not allowed to be happy. I know. Don’t take their words. But one adult after another and another. These adults are toxic.

Anonymous wrote:This is why many of us hire college counselors to work with our kids. They breakdown the process so it so it not too overwhelming, give assignments (first draft of xx essay), deadlines, etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, largely toxic adults. Every time we see a friend, they will say things like DC is Harvard bound. Even though we know there is very little chance (almost perfect stat, national awards, incredible ECs, leadership). I just want it cut all those adults out of our lives. Those sad puppy words that they are sorry. I mean why? DC will be going to a great school and we are not allowed to be happy. I know. Don’t take their words. But one adult after another and another. These adults are toxic.

Anonymous wrote:This is why many of us hire college counselors to work with our kids. They breakdown the process so it so it not too overwhelming, give assignments (first draft of xx essay), deadlines, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FCPS has been a slog since my kid entered kindergarten. My own school days were happy and fun, but now it just seems like school is something to endure until graduation. The competition, emphasis on grades rather than the joy of learning, pandemic stress, etc. means that it’s doubtful that many will look back fondly on their school years.

It’s sad.

I don’t disagree, but there are equally stressful pressures elsewhere, culturally. If your kid was in the high school my ILs kids go to, they’d be stressing over not making the cheer team, making homecoming or prom queen, generally more drinking, stressing over freshman sorority rush, and also feeling pressured to find a husband (I’m not joking).

Yikes!! Where do your ILs live?

Anonymous wrote:This is why many of us hire college counselors to work with our kids. They breakdown the process so it so it not too overwhelming, give assignments (first draft of xx essay), deadlines, etc.