Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is brutal but yes, you need active members who like you and that happens because you went to the same high schools/summer camps and your families vacation homes are in the same communities. This is especially important for schools where rush starts in August for incoming freshman.
For schools where rush happens second semester of first year or fall or sophomore year, there is more of an even playing field.

Gross.

+1 Yuck. And why would you want to surround yourself with such similar people?

Can you two please come up with more adult words to describe your feelings than "gross" and "yuck?"

Thank you.

I'm an alumni of a big state school sorority. I am also a former national officer. The "rec letter" is now an online form. It helps, but really only to get invited back to the second day. What is most important is your daughter's grades and extracurricular activities and volunteering. There are enough party girls going through recruitment and what sororities want are well rounded women who aren't going to flunk out. The biggest reason people get "cut" is grades and attitude. My cousin is a 4.0 honors student, in one or two activities. But her social skills are that of an elementary school student. she can't make small talk and she has a hard time engaging others in conversation. She was cut even during spring rush and even with my rec letter and my good friends. So it's not all about connections.

My parents were first generation college students and I'm from a blue collar, working class background. I had decent grades and a lot of leadership activities. My dad's law partners wrote letters of rec and I had a lot of older friends in different sororities. The sororities I liked most were not these ones. I found one that was more diverse and inclusive and more welcoming.

For people saying that sororities are not inclusive, you are full of it. I went to a southern state school. My sorority in the 1990s had Black, Asian and Latina women. Several of my pledge sisters were openly LGBTQIA. We had Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, atheists, politically conservative and progressive. Socially conservative and free spirits. Athletic women, artistic women, women who love to volunteer, party girls, slackers, etc.

The best thing about a sorority is the networking. When I moved to a new place and started my professional career, it helped me immensley. I met a lot of my best friends from my sorority. Sure there were a few "mean girls" but the majority of the women in my sorority were awesome: an Olympic athlete, patented a medical device, started a nonprofit, started a small business, etc. All while college students. I worked two jobs while paying for college on my own. Sororities are way more affordable than the dorms or apartments at big state schools. I had parking and a safe clean place to live. I loved it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is brutal but yes, you need active members who like you and that happens because you went to the same high schools/summer camps and your families vacation homes are in the same communities. This is especially important for schools where rush starts in August for incoming freshman.
For schools where rush happens second semester of first year or fall or sophomore year, there is more of an even playing field.

Gross.

+1 Yuck. And why would you want to surround yourself with such similar people?

Conformity is valued in the South and in certain religious and political personalities. I dislike it myself and find it humorous, but to each her own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is brutal but yes, you need active members who like you and that happens because you went to the same high schools/summer camps and your families vacation homes are in the same communities. This is especially important for schools where rush starts in August for incoming freshman.
For schools where rush happens second semester of first year or fall or sophomore year, there is more of an even playing field.

Gross.

+1 Yuck. And why would you want to surround yourself with such similar people?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full resume complete with gpa, APs, and test scores. All ECs, sports, volunteer work, employment, awards etc.

Recs vary but usually a rec from a “sister” of as many houses as you can find even if they’re 50 years old.

100% do not recommend for any girl who has any amount of anxiety or depression.

Just in case this needs to be said, this is not necessary for every school. My child went to a SLAC that had greek life and asked once how many women get turned down from sororities since rush has an application fee. They said 2 kids had been turned down each year in the preceding years.

I feel like you posted this as a positive light to offset mass rejections (and I could be wrong...). But my take on your post is why not just allow everyone to join, instead of singling out TWO kids. That must feel pretty horrible for them.

Right? It’s WORSE when it’s just a couple. Cruel.

Anonymous wrote:s friend sent my wife a request to recommend their kid for her old sorority, then she saw the resume that was full of lies, my wife declined saying integrity was very important to her and her sorority and the friend said well she will get in without your recommendation.

Let's just say when she didn't get the bid

Your wife wishes she were this important and powerful, but the girls don’t care. Letters of Rec mean nothing. And truly, the current girls don’t care one bit about alum input. My high stat, pretty DD who went to the “right” high school and summer camps had a letter of Rec from previous chapter president. Cut on the first night. If you’re not a legacy the chances are slim to none. And there are so many legacies now, lots of them get cut too. The whole process is gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full resume complete with gpa, APs, and test scores. All ECs, sports, volunteer work, employment, awards etc.

Recs vary but usually a rec from a “sister” of as many houses as you can find even if they’re 50 years old.

100% do not recommend for any girl who has any amount of anxiety or depression.

Posted on FB by a mom!?!

Yes and tons of people replied saying they’d write her daughter a rec and stated which sorority. Some even said “so and so woudl have more pull” than I would. She has a list of all of the sororities she’s interested in.

Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full resume complete with gpa, APs, and test scores. All ECs, sports, volunteer work, employment, awards etc.

Recs vary but usually a rec from a “sister” of as many houses as you can find even if they’re 50 years old.

100% do not recommend for any girl who has any amount of anxiety or depression.

Just in case this needs to be said, this is not necessary for every school. My child went to a SLAC that had greek life and asked once how many women get turned down from sororities since rush has an application fee. They said 2 kids had been turned down each year in the preceding years.

I feel like you posted this as a positive light to offset mass rejections (and I could be wrong...). But my take on your post is why not just allow everyone to join, instead of singling out TWO kids. That must feel pretty horrible for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume the resume includes a picture and that's what really matters.

Right - it's all about looks.

Yes. She’s very pretty. Someone commented that with her “stats” she won’t have a problem.

Which school? I was told the same. They’re were wrong.

Same for my daughter. Dropped by the top houses on the last night. Had all the right stats (deseriable high school, high GPA, etc.) and pretty. No recommendation letters because we were told it wasn’t like that at her school. Getting dropped at the end SUCKS.

s friend sent my wife a request to recommend their kid for her old sorority, then she saw the resume that was full of lies, my wife declined saying integrity was very important to her and her sorority and the friend said well she will get in without your recommendation.

Let's just say when she didn't get the bid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP is right about who you already know. “ dirty rush” is not allowed but the girls who get a house often do a more subtle version: going to the football games during their senior year of high school, meeting older siblings of their friends, working their social circle every way they can to meet older girls and get to know them. That way when their face pops up on the screen at 1 am for voting, at least a couple girls can say “omg, she’s the sweetest you guys, we have to have her”

But somehow that doesn’t exclude first generation students, students from rural areas, etc sure

Who said it doesn’t? Of course it does. It excludes anyone not deep into the WASP prosperity evangelical circles with the “right” lineage. There are some occasional exceptions but just like college admissions, Greek legacy exists to support certain social circles.

Stupid traditions that should be eliminated.

Anonymous wrote:PP is right about who you already know. “ dirty rush” is not allowed but the girls who get a house often do a more subtle version: going to the football games during their senior year of high school, meeting older siblings of their friends, working their social circle every way they can to meet older girls and get to know them. That way when their face pops up on the screen at 1 am for voting, at least a couple girls can say “omg, she’s the sweetest you guys, we have to have her”

But somehow that doesn’t exclude first generation students, students from rural areas, etc sure

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full resume complete with gpa, APs, and test scores. All ECs, sports, volunteer work, employment, awards etc.

Recs vary but usually a rec from a “sister” of as many houses as you can find even if they’re 50 years old.

100% do not recommend for any girl who has any amount of anxiety or depression.

Posted on FB by a mom!?!

Yes and tons of people replied saying they’d write her daughter a rec and stated which sorority. Some even said “so and so woudl have more pull” than I would. She has a list of all of the sororities she’s interested in.

OMFG. I was in a sorority and thank good it was nothing like this. People are animals.

It been like this forever. You need a sponsor. At my school the work around for a girl we wanted but didn’t have a sponsor letter was for a senior to write one. No big deal. But lots of girls come to campus with sponsor letters to all the chapters, just like OP’s daughter will because her mom is asking for them. I’d happily write a sponsor letter now if a friends daughter was going to college where my sorority had a chapter. It’s a formality for some schools, matters a lot at others.

PP is right about who you already know. “ dirty rush” is not allowed but the girls who get a house often do a more subtle version: going to the football games during their senior year of high school, meeting older siblings of their friends, working their social circle every way they can to meet older girls and get to know them. That way when their face pops up on the screen at 1 am for voting, at least a couple girls can say “omg, she’s the sweetest you guys, we have to have her”