Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:51
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
+1.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:50
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
Doesn’t dead mean not existing anymore?
He existed and still a part of who this child is.
Of course he did exist and exists within the child but the dead father isn’t existing now (as in life).
So, you think someone dead should be erased... good luck with that.
Oh, sweetie, you are confused. No one said “erased”. Dead people don’t exist. Living is the meaning of existing.
Now calm down.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:48
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
+1. Did anyone here who adopted a child keep the child’s biological father’s last name? I know we didn’t when we adopted our girls from China. They both have our Irish last name!
This is an adoption of an older child. We kept the first and middle name and changed the last name. This is a step parent adoption. It’s too bad you took away all references to their culture and past.
Okay, did anyone here who adopted an older child keep the biological parents last name? I have never known of one who did. The older kids all take their adopted family’s last name.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:48
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
Doesn’t dead mean not existing anymore?
He existed and still a part of who this child is.
Of course he did exist and exists within the child but the dead father isn’t existing now (as in life).
So, you think someone dead should be erased... good luck with that.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:46
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
Doesn’t dead mean not existing anymore?
He existed and still a part of who this child is.
Of course he did exist and exists within the child but the dead father isn’t existing now (as in life).
Anonymous
04/17/2022 18:45
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
+1. Did anyone here who adopted a child keep the child’s biological father’s last name? I know we didn’t when we adopted our girls from China. They both have our Irish last name!
This is an adoption of an older child. We kept the first and middle name and changed the last name. This is a step parent adoption. It’s too bad you took away all references to their culture and past.
What are you babbling about? We kept their first names and last names as middle names. Their last name is Irish.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 17:54
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
OP here. No one is or has ever pretended my son’s father and the first love of my life never existed!!! We all, including my fiancée, talk about him all the time and we have photos of him around our house. I loved my first husband dearly and was decades by his sudden death a month before I gave birth to my son. My son looks so much like him and probably always will.
We’ll all take my new husband’s name as a sign of a new beginning (if we do it) and my son’s first living father. We want to be a family.
You are a family regardless of adoption. Use dads name as a double middle or double last name.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 17:53
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
Doesn’t dead mean not existing anymore?
He existed and still a part of who this child is.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 17:53
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
+1. Did anyone here who adopted a child keep the child’s biological father’s last name? I know we didn’t when we adopted our girls from China. They both have our Irish last name!
This is an adoption of an older child. We kept the first and middle name and changed the last name. This is a step parent adoption. It’s too bad you took away all references to their culture and past.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 17:49
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
+1. Did anyone here who adopted a child keep the child’s biological father’s last name? I know we didn’t when we adopted our girls from China. They both have our Irish last name!
Anonymous
04/17/2022 16:58
Subject: Re:Surname change after adoption.
All of our adopted children had the last names of their biological parents before we adopted them. I honestly don’t see how this is different. But either choice is fine, OP. I’m just voting for all taking your new husband’s name at the adoption (not the wedding).
Anonymous
04/17/2022 16:54
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
Doesn’t dead mean not existing anymore?
Anonymous
04/17/2022 16:45
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
His biological father actually doesn’t exist, PP. He’s been dead for six years. The boy never met him. It does not sound like OP is pretending he never existed.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 16:42
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
Anonymous wrote:His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.
OP here. No one is or has ever pretended my son’s father and the first love of my life never existed!!! We all, including my fiancée, talk about him all the time and we have photos of him around our house. I loved my first husband dearly and was decades by his sudden death a month before I gave birth to my son. My son looks so much like him and probably always will.
We’ll all take my new husband’s name as a sign of a new beginning (if we do it) and my son’s first living father. We want to be a family.
Anonymous
04/17/2022 16:35
Subject: Surname change after adoption.
His biological father is still his dad in this situation and just pretending he doesn’t exist is a bad idea. Do a double last name.